"I've decided, I'm going to marry Captain America." Cas grinned.
"What does he have that I don't?" his boyfriend teased as they pulled up to school. Dean parked his dad's car, and let himself out. Cas followed.
"A shield" Cas smirked up at Dean, leaning up to press a light kiss to his cheek, and checking the time on his watch, they still had half an hour before school started.
Dean nodded. "Of course." They walked and Dean dropped his backpack below the usual tree they hung out by. "Now, more importantly, how do you feel about this history final we have today?"
Cas grinned at Dean, shimmying up onto a low lying branch and sighing, "I think it's all sunk in, I went over the timeline in my head this morning before you picked me up and I think I got all of it. It's incredible how fast everything escalated into full out war!" he enthuses, "How are you feeling about it?"
"Not too good..." Dean admitted. "But hey, whatever, right? We'll let you the be smart one... "
"You'll do fine!" Cas says, fumbling in his bag for his notes he'd been studying from. He nestled in next to Dean, wrapping one arm around his waist and using the other to point out things on the page to him "Here. Just remember something about the Versailles treaty, it's bound to come up" he says, briefly outlining a few key points for his boyfriend. Dean nodded, but was more intoxicated by the smell of his boyfriend's hair. He interrupted Cas's lecture by placing kisses on the top of his head, then his cheeks, and finally kissing his mouth. Cas smiled slightly, at the kisses, nuzzling into the touches and shaking his head before kissing Dean back properly. "I love you" Cas sighed, burying his face against Dean's chest, "Even if you suck at concentrating on history."
"I'll do fine, like you said." Dean smirked, even though he knew it wasn't true. The first bell rang. "Come on, we're going to be late"
Cas pouted, "Why can't we just stay out here and pretend we didn't know" he asks, still slipping his hand into Dean's and gathering their things for them.
"Because at least one of us needs to pass this test!"
"Actually you know what? Remember Captain America, everything about him physically was what Hitler wanted in an ideal race, but everything about who he was went against what he wanted." he smirked up at Dean, "I know you know your comics so just go with that!"
Dean played along, getting up and offering his hand to Cas. "And you know what? I will do that! Thanks Cas" he looped his arm in Cas's when he was standing
Cas chuckles running a hand through Dean's sandy hair, and bringing his fingers to his lips to press a kiss to the back of his palm. "I believe in you, darling" he murmurs, humming happily at how close they were together. They walked into the school, and straight to history class.
Cas breezed through the test, looking over at Dean on the other side of the room to get an idea of how he was was biting his lip, pencil not moving.
After the bell rang, Cas met Dean outside. "How'd you feel? I know I got at least of the dates mixed up but I'm pretty confident about it otherwise." Cas was trying being modest, while still being honest. History was one of his best subjects and they both knew it.
Dean just groaned, and leaned against the wall. "I hate history." he said. "I can't fucking memorize anything."
"Cheer up, I'm sure you did fine," Cas tried to console him. "If not, it's almost lunch. I know you like it when they have the big cookies on Wednesdays." he grinned
"Hey, those cookies are some good shit." he said, smiling at Cas. "I hate tests, and I hate history. I don't need to know any of that shit? I mean, when I'm older and rebuilding people's cars, who the fuck is gonna ask me what year the Civil fucking War started? Nobody!"
Cas sighed. He hated when Dean did this, but he didn't want to bring up the old argument when Dean was already in a bad mood so he just nodded. "Hey, I have Honors physics, I need to run." Cas kissed Dean on the cheek swiftly. "I'll see you at lunch."
"See you at lunch." Dean said as he started off towards his next class. He was happy for Cas, but having such a smart boyfriend always made him feel like more of an idiot than he otherwise did.
Cas reached the cafeteria before Dean, so he saved them their regular table. Dean sauntered in five minutes later and Cas smiled at him. "How was English?"
"We talked about a book that even the teacher hates, and about half way through class, people started yelling at each other." Dean said, sighing as he sat next to Cas.
"Sounds delightful." Cas took a bite of his sandwich. "Dean, about what you said after history, I know you don't like it when I bring this up, but have you considered it more since the last time we talked about it? I know you could do so much better than just being a mechanic, Dean. You could go to college..."
"There's only one thing I'm good at, okay? And it's cars." Dean said, glaring slightly. "I can't memorize any of the bullshit they throw at us. And I have to raise Sammy basically by myself. I can't do that if I'm in college."
"Sam's already 12, Dean! He'll be a teenager next year and he'll be fine! Just like you were, and still are. The only person who thinks you're not good enough is you. If you just LET me help you come up with a list, we could choose schools near to each other, I'd help you study for standardized tests, and I'd help you with your apps...please, Dean. Don't sell yourself short like this."
"Cas, I can get me OR Sam to college. Sam actually wants to go. I'm not gonna crush his dreams because somebody else wants me to go to college, even if that somebody else is my boyfriend."
"But there are grants available, plus Sam can always look at scholarships..." it was monotonous, repeating these facts over and over to Dean...
"Cas, it's not your life. It's mine. I like working on cars, and I'm good at it. I fucking rebuilt a car from the sixties from just a few chunks of the frame."
"I know, and I'm so proud of you, you know I am..."
"And you're being just like everyone else. Telling me how to live my life." Cas hated it when Dean said something like this, mostly because it hurt his feelings. He had the perfect response, but he didn't dare say it. He just took another bite instead.
Dean rest his head on Cas' shoulder, clearly upset. "Everyone always tells me what to do. I hate it."
Now was the chance to say what Cas had in mind, gently. "You do realize we do it because we care about you, right? And the reason I do it the most is because..."
"Most people don't give a shit. They just want the school's ratings to be good." Dean said, sighing.
"But if we worked together we could find a place for you, just right for you."
"Cas, I already know what I want to do." Dean said, glaring slightly. "Fucking begging me to go to college isn't going to change my mind."
"Fine." said Cas, clearly hurt. "Sorry." The bell rang and Cas got up to walk away.
Dean stood up, and grabbed Cas' arm, and kissed him gently. "I'm sorry."
Once they separated, Cas left without a word, trying to organize his thoughts.
When Dean got to his next class, he took out his phone, and texted Cas.
I'm really sorry. -DW
Me too. I'll see you by your car after school. gtg trig. ttyl - CN
Dean waited by his car, and a few minutes later Cas materialized in front of him. Dean immediately hugged his boyfriend. "Shit, Cas, I'm so sorry. I've felt horrible, really. And I really will consider what you have to say."
Castiel gave Dean a smile of gratitude along with a small shrug. "It's your life, and I still really want to be a part of it, I don't want us to break up over something like that." He breathed a sigh, shaking his head. "If you don't come to college with me... Well then it'll just have to be a long-distance relationship."
"Cas, wow, I couldn't get into the safety schools you're applying to, I mean, it doesn't have to be the end for us, I know I have to look out for Sam, but maybe if you don't go to school too far away...?" Dean didn't like to talk about this either, and they never had properly addressed it before
Castiel gave another small shrug. "My parents would be mad if I didn't apply to any of the good colleges far away." He gave a sad smile, putting his arms around Dean again. "It doesn't matter, we'll find a way, we'll make it work." He murmured, kissing Dean softly. "I love you, I'm not going to lose you over something like that."
"I mean, we do have another year," Dean reminded him. "Why rush it?"
Castiel bit his lip, he really had hoped he wouldn't have to tell Dean this. "Thank you..." He mumbled softly. "I- um- the furthest school away is three states over, I'd be back for breaks though, holidays..."
"That's a bit of a drive," he agreed "Even though baby can make it, I.. dont think I can leave Sam for that long."
Castiel nodded with a sad smile, he'd figured as much. "I know, I was just saying... I'll be back Easter, Christmas, Summer break, Winter break... We can spend time together then, and we can always talk on the phone, and Skype..." He suggested.
Dean nodded. "Hey, we have a YEAR," he emphasized to Cas again. "Please don't get too wound up on this... relax." he pecked his boyfriend on the lips. "So, what do you say? Want to come over? I can watch over Sammy and watch you do homework?"
Castiel gave a slight smile and a nod. "Okay, but... I've already done all of my homework, I'm sure I could find some extra things to do though." He said with a smile, hugging Dean tightly. He couldn't help thinking that he was going to miss this, though.
Over the next couple of weeks college was never brought up. However, something wasn't right. Cas would get picked up by Dean and they'd attend history together, and see again at lunch but he when would try to spot his boyfriend in between lessons, Dean was no where to be found, until they met by Dean's car after school.
Today was no different. Castiel was very concerned and worried. He walked down the halls, passing all the other kids. He tried looking for his boyfriend, but no luck. So, he decided to go over by his car. He walked out the school, his books in his hands, covering his face with it. He looked like a shy teenage girl, although he basically was one all the time. He spotted Dean's car and started walking over to it, maybe he's in there, he kept thinking to himself.
There was a tap on the window. "Holy shi-Cas, what? Why aren't you in class?"
"I could ask you the same question"
"Well i asked you first" Dean said, turning to face the steering wheel.
"School just ended, Dean, which you would know, if you actually attended." Cas got into the passenger seat so that Dean couldn't drive off without him
"Cas, look, I'm sorry but we're not arguing right now. I have things i need to do"
"Like what, Dean? What is so important that you're not going to school? Is it Sam? Is he okay?"
"Sam's fine. I'm fine by the way thanks for asking. It doesn't concern you. you need to be more focused on school."
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because Cas. I just am" Dean punched the steering wheel and starts the car up. Cas timidly reached to hold Dean's hand
Dean took Cas' hand and squeezed it gently. He kissed the back of his palm softly and smiled a little. "Just forget it okay Cas? I don't wanna argue and I don't wanna get you upset." He said seriously.
"Dean, I-I mean I've noticed you've been gone the last couple of days except for the periods that you have to see me so, I...I'm worried about you." he finished lamely.
Dean shook his head and let go of Cas' hand punching the steering wheel again. "Just stop okay? Don't say shit like that. Don't care for me!" He growled not looking at Cas.
"Of course I'm going to care about you, I'm your boyfriend!"
Dean got out of the car and started walking off into a small forest type area. Cas got out of the car, grabbed Dean's keys and followed him. "What is wrong with you?!" he demanded. He was angry, but more than anything he was confused and worried
"What does it fucking matter?!" He yelled turning to face Cas. "What does school matter? What does anything fucking matter? Just go off to fucking college already would you?!"
"Oh." Cas said softly. "Dean, we talked about this, worse case 3 states isn't a terrible distance.."
Dean shook his head and moved away. "No Cas. It's much worse than that. I can't see you everyday. I can't afford college and I'm no where near smart enough for it."
Cas let out a sigh, he could repeat the lecture about scholarships and aid again but he knew it wasn't what Dean wanted to hear. "What do you suggest we do, then?"
Dean shrugged and started walking again. He jumped down onto a rock and sat down there putting his head in his hands. Cas followed him still and put an arm around his boyfriend. "Dean, I love you, you know I love you, and you know that whatever you're fearing, we'll make it through this."
Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him close. He hid his face in his boyfriends neck and cried quietly clinging onto him. "What's got you so worried? You kept saying how we have a whole year left the last time we talked about this..."
"Because...because I'm gonna lose you." He whispered. "I can't live my life without you, Cas. I hate my life and everything it is. But you and Sam make me happy and if I lose you I don't know what I'll do."
Cas started crying at these words too. "I...I think the best thing we can do is just deal with it when it happens. I guess I'll understand if you don't want to hear about my acceptances, though" he added as a hurt afterthought.
Dean shook his head and pulled Cas tighter in his arms. "Cas, all I want is for you to be happy and successful and I'm gonna help you apply and stuff but just...just don't tell me if it's half way across the country."
"Shh, shh.." Cas ran a hand through his boyfriends hair. We'll be okay" Cas whispered, kissing the top of Dean's head.
