Dib's Meaty Life…
So, to begin the story, Dib, well… Let's just say he's an odd child. He's in love with a sandwich. Just more reasons to make everyone believe he's crazy. So far, Dib has taken the sandwich to a picnic where they had anything but sandwiches, had an argument of where to go for their next date, and proposed to the sandwich. The odd thing is, this sandwich, has many bits and pieces, but there's only one part that loves him. The bologna. (baloney) The even weirder thing is, the sandwich's ingredients have different genders. Even weirder than that, you can't tell what their genders are…
Dib didn't care. He loved… Well… It? But Bologna had a secret. "It" was cheating on Dib with the bread. But "it" couldn't resist. That hot, fresh out of the oven, Italian bread was rich with calories. But Bologna couldn't resist. "It" took the temptation. All night long.
The next day, Dib found Italian Bread drinking calcium milk, straight from the gallon. He looked so frickn' wasted. He told Dib all what happened. In graphic detail. Italian Bread hadn't known that Bologna was in a serious relationship.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Dib yelled to Bologna as he entered the, well, house, I guess… Slamming the door behind him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gaz shouted in response, she would have beaten him up, if she wasn't so amused by watching him yell at this inanimate object, and pretending to hear a response.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, GAZ!" Screamed Dib, the furious.
"What are you talking about?" Asked Bologna, like she didn't know what, it, did.
"You know exactly what happened you little" I'm going to censor this part, "MEANIE!" Even more furiously than he's ever been in his entire life. "IT'S OVER!" As he grabbed Bologna's, well, face, and kissed it one more time. Dib left sadly, closing the door behind him, even though it was his house.
Gaz watched as the most confusing part of her life just unfolded in front of her eyes. Not puberty, but her brother is making out with a one-year old piece of bologna, that hasn't been refrigerated since they got it. And it wasn't pretty. At all. Gaz was scarred for life, and that's saying something. "I put it off for too long. He needs help," she said to the police, trying to erase that image from her brain.
Within a few short minutes, Dib was locked up in the Crazy House for Boys. This was the fourth time he had been in that cell, and with a record like his, he would never escape. In the Crazy house, they were fed sandwiches. Dib finally found out the temptation of Italian Bread and forgave Bologna. But Bologna never forgave him because, well, "it" was in a compost bin. They never saw each other again. Except for one time, when he ate it. Crazy House for Boys had some truly awful sandwiches. As for Gaz, still scarred for life, she never got over the fact that her brother made out with a piece of year-old bologna.