TITLE: Breaking The Waves
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker
EMAIL: Rebecca@Bizarroland.com
RATING: R
SUMMARY: When Xander moves away for 4 months, Anya comes up with a plan to keep them close, despite the distance.
FEEDBACK: Yes please!
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask first.
DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.
IMPROV: #37 wait, shine, futile, group
GLOVESLAP: You Got The Stones GS #
NOTE: Movie referenced in the fic is the title.
DEDICATION: To my dear dear friend, Jodi, whose love of X/A is infamous.
Anya had been watching far too many movies.
Xander couldn't stop her; the news of his impending four-month departure had forced a side to her never before seen to the surface.
When she learned of the job Xander had accepted in Tucson building a house for some oil magnate with far too much money to spend, she had objected. She started by screaming, proceeded to throwing things, and had eventually settled on moping along in the living room at night watching HBO.
It had been a week before he was to leave when he became completely fed up. He suggested to her that she hire someone to take over the Magic Box temporarily, but she hadn't liked that idea much.
"No one touches my money," she had argued before shushing him to return to "Happy Gilmore". As the credits rolled, she had commented to him that "golf, although pretty damn boring, seems a lucrative sport," and then suggested he stay in Sunnydale to take it up professionally.
Xander had rolled his eyes and slammed the bedroom door, eager to escape the insanity that had taken over this apartment the last month.
It was three hours later when she joined him in bed, a smile on her fact that he hadn't seen in weeks.
"Xander. Wake up!" she said, poking his side repeatedly.
He groaned and rolled over, wanting to get back to sleep.
"Xander!" she said, poking him so hard that he flinched. "Wake up!"
"What is it, Anya?" he asked, his voice annoyed. "I was sleeping."
"Xander, I'm OK with you going to Tucson."
He turned to her, surprised. He had finally accepted that she would never accept it, and now-
"What?" he asked, sure he had simply heard her incorrectly.
"I'm OK with it!" she said again, and this time, Xander feared her enthusiasm.
"OK," he said, shaking his head as if things would fall into place and make sense. "What happened?"
"Well!" she said, shifting closer to him in bed and placing her head on his chest. "I was watching this movie- it was kind of weird."
"Your favorite kind," Xander said, smiling.
"Anyway, there's this couple. And they're all in love, like us," she said, looking up to Xander. "But there's this horrible accident and, all of the sudden, it's horrible- he can't have sex with her anymore."
"What kind of an accident does that?"
"Well, Ok. It was more than just that. I think he was paralyzed or something."
"Ah, but the most important part was him being unable to have sex with his wife," Xander said sarcastically.
Anya was oblivious. "Right," she said, nodding. "But see- he loved her so much that he didn't want her to be alone like that."
"Of course not," Xander said, humoring her. "So what happened next?"
"Well! They made this deal. He told her that since they couldn't have sex, he wanted her to go have sex with other people and come back and tell him about it, so they could at least share that."
Xander looked at Anya in disbelief. "What crackhead movie is this? Are we suddenly getting the Playboy Channel?"
"No silly, although I wouldn't mind if you wanted to," she added.
Xander coughed, moving his hand to her hair and stroking it gently. "Anya, honey. Do you have a poi-". The lights went on inside Xander's head. "Anya, I've gone along with a lot of wild ideas for you- sex on the register at the Magic Box, at the very least. But please tell me you're not suggesting what I think you are."
"I think we should have sex with other people and tell each other about it."
"You are suggesting what I think you are," Xander said, stunned. He moved suddenly from the bed, oblivious that, as he moved away, Anya plopped down on the bed.
He started to pace the room, wondering if he walked fast enough, the earth would move backwards and time would reverse itself like it did when Superman saved Lois in "Superman 3". Maybe then, what had just come out of Anya's mouth would cease to exist. Because it was just too-
"Insane," Xander blurted out, continuing to pace. "You know, I thought maybe it was just because you're readjusting to humanity, but I'm starting to think you're just nuts. I mean- maybe a demon can only see so many men cannibalize themselves before your brain just stops functioning...functionally," Xander finished, grimacing. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation, and he definitely couldn't believe that Anya was smiling at him during it. "What?!"
"You're just so cute when you're flustered," she said, giggling.
"An-"
"Xander, I want to do this. And I think you've known me long enough now to realize that means I'm going to." She patted the spot on the bed next to her. "Now come sit down and let's work out the details."
Xander nodded, defeated, and moved to sit next to her. She put her hand on his leg.
"Now, first of all - we have to remember that safety is key," she said, nodding at him. "Tomorrow, we'll go to the drugstore and replenish our supply of condoms."
"Anya, we have a whole medicine cabinet full of them!"
"Well, you never know what will happen!"
"Who are you planning on sleeping with- the LA Lakers?" Xander asked, beginning to lose his patience.
"I'm just saying," Anya said, sighing. "And no sex with blondes or redheads."
"Afraid Buffy and Willow will come for a visit?" Xander asked, grinning.
"No," Anya said, but Xander didn't believe her. "Do you think Dawn might visit too?"
Xander laughed. "Anya, she's 16!"
"Right," Anya said, nodding. She thought for a minute. "No brunettes either."
Xander rolled his eyes. "So, basically I'm left with old ladies and albino chicks."
"Yes, that sounds about right," Anya said, folding her arms.
"An- are you sure about this plan? Cause you don't sound so sure anymore." He reached out and took her hand. "Four months really isn't that long of a time. We can do this."
"Yes," Anya said. "Yes, I'm sure, Xander. This is a brilliant plan."
Xander sighed. He had hoped she would have changed her mind, but he realized any attempts to get out of this were futile at best. "OK. So we'll do it." He pulled her in to rest against his chest. He breathed deeply. "So how did this plan work out for the couple in the movie?"
"Oh," Anya said, shrugging. "She became a prostitute and these angry johns wound up killing her."
Xander blinked, unbelieving. "An-"
"We're doing it, Xander."
++++++++
Xander sighed, hammering in the last nail of the day. The sweat was pouring down his forehead- the weather in Tucson had been more brutal and unforgiving than he had expected.
He put his hammer down and stepped back, taking in the work he had accomplished in the last three months. The house had gone up quicker than anyone had expected, and in a matter of days, their work would be done, and the interior decorator's would begin.
Xander was planning on heading back to Sunnydale two weeks early, a fact which he had neglected to tell Anya. He couldn't wait to see her face when he came home early, and he couldn't wait to tell her how insanely her plan had failed.
The first month, Xander hadn't slept with anyone. He had danced around the topic during their phone calls until Anya had screamed at him to go out and get laid. He couldn't bear to ask her about her own exploits- he couldn't think about Anya sleeping with anyone else without wanting to punch something very hard.
The first girl he slept with reminded him of Anya, and that was the only reason he took her to bed. She had been nice enough, but fairly boring, and definitely vanilla after all the sex with Anya. She didn't expect anything more than one fun night, and that was best. He didn't need another girlfriend, or someone who thought they now had "a connection."
After that, it had taken one phone call with Anya to convince him to sleep with someone else- she had sounded so happy, not to mention turned on. She understood that there was no emotion involved, and that he was only doing it to please her.
The second girl was more annoying than the first, but much more exciting in bed. When he had related the story to Anya over the phone that night, she had come before he even got past the foreplay.
After that, there had been others, but Xander wasn't getting much out of it. Sure, he was sexually aroused, but the constant parade of girls in and out of his bedroom was actually boring him. His conversations with Anya had become shorter, and she seemed less interesting in hearing about the details.
He asked her if she wanted him to stop, but she had objected. He asked her about the guys she had slept with, and she brushed him off. Their conversations were terse and forced, and so they came few and farther between.
As he drove back to the apartment he had temporarily rented, he wondered how she was going to react when he surprised her two days later.
++++
"You sure you want to do this, love?" he had asked her as he stripped down. She had watched the articles of clothing fall one by one to the ground.
"Yes, I'm sure. Xander and I have a plan." Anya slowly unbuttoned her blouse, watching Spike watch her.
"Not sure I want the boy's name coming up when we do this," he said, grinning at her. "Kind of ruins the mood, you know?"
"Sorry," Anya said apologetically.
"Now, you're not gonna be calling his name during, are you?" Spike scoffed. "Cause if you think that's the case, we can call this whole thing off now. I may be a creature of evil, but even I don't deserve that, don't you agree?"
"Actually no," Anya said, her hands on her now naked hips. "Listen, I'm not very intelligible when it comes to things I call out anyway, OK?"
"Fine," Spike said, shrugging. He looked Anya over, a sly smile on his face. "Well lookie here. Always knew you were a wild one. Get you away from that Scooby group, and who knows what nasty things you'd get up to."
"Whatever. Can we just get this over with?" Anya said, annoyed as she headed over to the bed and plopped down on it.
"Well, if that isn't the most romantic offer I've heard," Spike said sarcastically. "Xander usually fall for those lines, or does it take some stroking of his um- ego to get the boy into it?"
"I thought you didn't want to hear his name," Anya said, beginning to think she felt the same way. She knew she had no reason to, but she was feeling incredibly disloyal. She had hid the fact that she hadn't slept with anyone else since Xander had been gone, but with only one week until his return, she had to at least make some notches on her bedpost.
"Listen, I'm starting to think you have the right idea," he said, walking over to the spot where she lay, spread out naked, on the bed. "Let's just get this over with," he said, sliding his hand up her thigh. "Though feel free to take as long as you want," he said. "I know I can go for days sometime. If it's with the right girl," he said, sliding his hand higher until it connected.
Anya moaned, feeling his cold touch against her warm skin. "OK," she said, her voice breathy. "But remember- no biting."
Spike nodded, leaning in to lick the nape of her neck. "No biting on my part," he said, kissing the spot instead. "No cursing on yours."
"So 'Oh Fuck Yes' is out?" Anya said, grinning as she moved her hand between Spike's legs.
"I think you know what I mean."
"I think I do," she said nervously as she bent in to kiss him.
+++++
The drive back to Sunnydale had been a perfect one. There was no traffic, the sun was shining down, and there was a nice breeze that passed through the driver side window as Xander turned onto his street.
As he parked in front of his apartment, he realized just how glad he was to be home. He wasn't sure he would have lasted another month, especially with all the girls reminding him of how he really only wanted just the one anymore.
He stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut and heading up the walkway. As he made his way to his apartment, he couldn't stop thinking about touching her again, kissing her again, hearing her talk about money again- all of it. He had missed it all.
When he opened the door to his apartment, he knew something was wrong. The place was a wreck- tables knocked over and clothes all over the floor. His heart started to race as he took in the scene, and when he heard a low moan coming from the other room, he leapt to action.
"Anya!" Xander called out, pulling open the door to the bedroom.
One look inside, and he slammed it shut in front of him. "Oh. My. God," Xander said. "So what happened is, I have heat stroke," he said to himself as he turned and headed to the refrigerator. "And the heat stroke is making me have these delusions." He reached in for the orange juice and drank from the container. "Because, I couldn't have just seen that. I mean, no. I really really couldn't have."
"You really really could and did, mate," Spike said, walking out of the bedroom without a stitch on him. "Sorry, Xander. Your girl told me all about your little plan, and I just had to pitch in. Team effort and all, right?" he said, patting Xander on the shoulder.
"Spike!" Anya said, stumbling out of the bedroom, fidgeting with her robe. "Would you please leave now?"
"Well, you seemed real interested in me coming a minute ago," Spike said, grinning. "You sure you want me to go now?"
"I am so sure that I may physically remove you myself," Anya said, angrily.
"Sure you have any strength left, love? I think I took a lot out of you. Know you took a lot out of me," Spike said, stretching. He looked at Anya, who was glowering at him. "Right then, I'll be running along. But you know what crypt to go knocking on if you and Xander here can't work things out."
Xander stood there in shock as he watched Spike bend down and pick up a pair of pants from the ground. He watched as the vampire quickly dressed, a smile on his face all the while. "Be seeing you, I suspect," he said as he walked out of the apartment.
The two of them stood there in silence for several minutes before Anya spoke up. "Xander?"
"Hmm?" Xander said, not turning to her. He still was having problems accepting what had just happened because, in his mind, there was no way that it could have. "Well," he finally said. "I would say 'Surprise', but I really think you win on this one."
"Xander, we had an agreement," Anya reminded him. "I mean, I didn't want you to find us, but we did talk about this."
"Not with Spike," Xander said, turning to her angrily. "There are certain things we don't do with vampires. We don't play beach volleyball. We don't eat garlic knots. And we certainly don't have sex with them!"
"Unless you're Buffy," Anya corrected him sarcastically.
"It's just so easy for you to use her in an argument, isn't it?" Xander said, folding his arms.
"Surprisingly yes," Anya said, folding hers. "Look, while you were off sleeping with every Jane, Jill and Debbie, I was a little more selective."
"Spike? You consider sleeping with Spike being 'a little more selective'?" Xander shook his head, unbelieving.
"Well, since Giles left, it's not like there's a lot of guys that are options. It was either Spike or Willy the Snitch."
"Willy's a good man!" Xander said. "And quite attractive, if looked at from the right angle. Now he- he would have been an excellent choice."
"Xander," Anya said, sighing. "He was the only one. I mean, I just- I don't know. You call me and tell me about all these girls, and I couldn't do it myself. I chickened out," she said, her voice disappointed. "So I thought- just this one time before you came home. And you k now, you weren't supposed to -be- home just yet, Xander! I never thought you would walk in on that!"
"Well, at least you didn't have sex in our bed," Xander said, shrugging. "I mean, I know you like the floor and a-" Xander looked at her, sighing. "You just wound up on the floor, didn't you?"
"Eventually," Anya said, her voice low. "Look, Xander. I know this was all my idea, and I know that seeing me with Spike of all people can't be easy on you. But tell me we can get past this."
Xander sighed, walking over to the couch and plopping down onto it. He wasn't sure if he could ever get the image of the two of them out of his head, especially considering the position they were in was one the two of them had never even tried before, but he couldn't forget that this was something they had both agreed to.
"An-" he said, turning to her and watching as she came to sit down next to him. "Just tell me one thing. One thing and then I can forgive you."
"Anything," Anya said, her eyes hopeful. "Anything at all."
Xander gulped. "Am I better than him?"
"Well," Anya said, looking away. "Let me put it this way." She turned back to him and grinned. "No."
"What?" Xander shrieked, and now he was sure that the whole experience was just one big case of heat stroke. "You're kidding me, right? I mean, right? Right?"
"Right," Anya said, smiling. "Of course, you're better. You're Xander. My Xander. No one else's."
"Damn straight."
+++
The End.
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker
EMAIL: Rebecca@Bizarroland.com
RATING: R
SUMMARY: When Xander moves away for 4 months, Anya comes up with a plan to keep them close, despite the distance.
FEEDBACK: Yes please!
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask first.
DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.
IMPROV: #37 wait, shine, futile, group
GLOVESLAP: You Got The Stones GS #
NOTE: Movie referenced in the fic is the title.
DEDICATION: To my dear dear friend, Jodi, whose love of X/A is infamous.
Anya had been watching far too many movies.
Xander couldn't stop her; the news of his impending four-month departure had forced a side to her never before seen to the surface.
When she learned of the job Xander had accepted in Tucson building a house for some oil magnate with far too much money to spend, she had objected. She started by screaming, proceeded to throwing things, and had eventually settled on moping along in the living room at night watching HBO.
It had been a week before he was to leave when he became completely fed up. He suggested to her that she hire someone to take over the Magic Box temporarily, but she hadn't liked that idea much.
"No one touches my money," she had argued before shushing him to return to "Happy Gilmore". As the credits rolled, she had commented to him that "golf, although pretty damn boring, seems a lucrative sport," and then suggested he stay in Sunnydale to take it up professionally.
Xander had rolled his eyes and slammed the bedroom door, eager to escape the insanity that had taken over this apartment the last month.
It was three hours later when she joined him in bed, a smile on her fact that he hadn't seen in weeks.
"Xander. Wake up!" she said, poking his side repeatedly.
He groaned and rolled over, wanting to get back to sleep.
"Xander!" she said, poking him so hard that he flinched. "Wake up!"
"What is it, Anya?" he asked, his voice annoyed. "I was sleeping."
"Xander, I'm OK with you going to Tucson."
He turned to her, surprised. He had finally accepted that she would never accept it, and now-
"What?" he asked, sure he had simply heard her incorrectly.
"I'm OK with it!" she said again, and this time, Xander feared her enthusiasm.
"OK," he said, shaking his head as if things would fall into place and make sense. "What happened?"
"Well!" she said, shifting closer to him in bed and placing her head on his chest. "I was watching this movie- it was kind of weird."
"Your favorite kind," Xander said, smiling.
"Anyway, there's this couple. And they're all in love, like us," she said, looking up to Xander. "But there's this horrible accident and, all of the sudden, it's horrible- he can't have sex with her anymore."
"What kind of an accident does that?"
"Well, Ok. It was more than just that. I think he was paralyzed or something."
"Ah, but the most important part was him being unable to have sex with his wife," Xander said sarcastically.
Anya was oblivious. "Right," she said, nodding. "But see- he loved her so much that he didn't want her to be alone like that."
"Of course not," Xander said, humoring her. "So what happened next?"
"Well! They made this deal. He told her that since they couldn't have sex, he wanted her to go have sex with other people and come back and tell him about it, so they could at least share that."
Xander looked at Anya in disbelief. "What crackhead movie is this? Are we suddenly getting the Playboy Channel?"
"No silly, although I wouldn't mind if you wanted to," she added.
Xander coughed, moving his hand to her hair and stroking it gently. "Anya, honey. Do you have a poi-". The lights went on inside Xander's head. "Anya, I've gone along with a lot of wild ideas for you- sex on the register at the Magic Box, at the very least. But please tell me you're not suggesting what I think you are."
"I think we should have sex with other people and tell each other about it."
"You are suggesting what I think you are," Xander said, stunned. He moved suddenly from the bed, oblivious that, as he moved away, Anya plopped down on the bed.
He started to pace the room, wondering if he walked fast enough, the earth would move backwards and time would reverse itself like it did when Superman saved Lois in "Superman 3". Maybe then, what had just come out of Anya's mouth would cease to exist. Because it was just too-
"Insane," Xander blurted out, continuing to pace. "You know, I thought maybe it was just because you're readjusting to humanity, but I'm starting to think you're just nuts. I mean- maybe a demon can only see so many men cannibalize themselves before your brain just stops functioning...functionally," Xander finished, grimacing. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation, and he definitely couldn't believe that Anya was smiling at him during it. "What?!"
"You're just so cute when you're flustered," she said, giggling.
"An-"
"Xander, I want to do this. And I think you've known me long enough now to realize that means I'm going to." She patted the spot on the bed next to her. "Now come sit down and let's work out the details."
Xander nodded, defeated, and moved to sit next to her. She put her hand on his leg.
"Now, first of all - we have to remember that safety is key," she said, nodding at him. "Tomorrow, we'll go to the drugstore and replenish our supply of condoms."
"Anya, we have a whole medicine cabinet full of them!"
"Well, you never know what will happen!"
"Who are you planning on sleeping with- the LA Lakers?" Xander asked, beginning to lose his patience.
"I'm just saying," Anya said, sighing. "And no sex with blondes or redheads."
"Afraid Buffy and Willow will come for a visit?" Xander asked, grinning.
"No," Anya said, but Xander didn't believe her. "Do you think Dawn might visit too?"
Xander laughed. "Anya, she's 16!"
"Right," Anya said, nodding. She thought for a minute. "No brunettes either."
Xander rolled his eyes. "So, basically I'm left with old ladies and albino chicks."
"Yes, that sounds about right," Anya said, folding her arms.
"An- are you sure about this plan? Cause you don't sound so sure anymore." He reached out and took her hand. "Four months really isn't that long of a time. We can do this."
"Yes," Anya said. "Yes, I'm sure, Xander. This is a brilliant plan."
Xander sighed. He had hoped she would have changed her mind, but he realized any attempts to get out of this were futile at best. "OK. So we'll do it." He pulled her in to rest against his chest. He breathed deeply. "So how did this plan work out for the couple in the movie?"
"Oh," Anya said, shrugging. "She became a prostitute and these angry johns wound up killing her."
Xander blinked, unbelieving. "An-"
"We're doing it, Xander."
++++++++
Xander sighed, hammering in the last nail of the day. The sweat was pouring down his forehead- the weather in Tucson had been more brutal and unforgiving than he had expected.
He put his hammer down and stepped back, taking in the work he had accomplished in the last three months. The house had gone up quicker than anyone had expected, and in a matter of days, their work would be done, and the interior decorator's would begin.
Xander was planning on heading back to Sunnydale two weeks early, a fact which he had neglected to tell Anya. He couldn't wait to see her face when he came home early, and he couldn't wait to tell her how insanely her plan had failed.
The first month, Xander hadn't slept with anyone. He had danced around the topic during their phone calls until Anya had screamed at him to go out and get laid. He couldn't bear to ask her about her own exploits- he couldn't think about Anya sleeping with anyone else without wanting to punch something very hard.
The first girl he slept with reminded him of Anya, and that was the only reason he took her to bed. She had been nice enough, but fairly boring, and definitely vanilla after all the sex with Anya. She didn't expect anything more than one fun night, and that was best. He didn't need another girlfriend, or someone who thought they now had "a connection."
After that, it had taken one phone call with Anya to convince him to sleep with someone else- she had sounded so happy, not to mention turned on. She understood that there was no emotion involved, and that he was only doing it to please her.
The second girl was more annoying than the first, but much more exciting in bed. When he had related the story to Anya over the phone that night, she had come before he even got past the foreplay.
After that, there had been others, but Xander wasn't getting much out of it. Sure, he was sexually aroused, but the constant parade of girls in and out of his bedroom was actually boring him. His conversations with Anya had become shorter, and she seemed less interesting in hearing about the details.
He asked her if she wanted him to stop, but she had objected. He asked her about the guys she had slept with, and she brushed him off. Their conversations were terse and forced, and so they came few and farther between.
As he drove back to the apartment he had temporarily rented, he wondered how she was going to react when he surprised her two days later.
++++
"You sure you want to do this, love?" he had asked her as he stripped down. She had watched the articles of clothing fall one by one to the ground.
"Yes, I'm sure. Xander and I have a plan." Anya slowly unbuttoned her blouse, watching Spike watch her.
"Not sure I want the boy's name coming up when we do this," he said, grinning at her. "Kind of ruins the mood, you know?"
"Sorry," Anya said apologetically.
"Now, you're not gonna be calling his name during, are you?" Spike scoffed. "Cause if you think that's the case, we can call this whole thing off now. I may be a creature of evil, but even I don't deserve that, don't you agree?"
"Actually no," Anya said, her hands on her now naked hips. "Listen, I'm not very intelligible when it comes to things I call out anyway, OK?"
"Fine," Spike said, shrugging. He looked Anya over, a sly smile on his face. "Well lookie here. Always knew you were a wild one. Get you away from that Scooby group, and who knows what nasty things you'd get up to."
"Whatever. Can we just get this over with?" Anya said, annoyed as she headed over to the bed and plopped down on it.
"Well, if that isn't the most romantic offer I've heard," Spike said sarcastically. "Xander usually fall for those lines, or does it take some stroking of his um- ego to get the boy into it?"
"I thought you didn't want to hear his name," Anya said, beginning to think she felt the same way. She knew she had no reason to, but she was feeling incredibly disloyal. She had hid the fact that she hadn't slept with anyone else since Xander had been gone, but with only one week until his return, she had to at least make some notches on her bedpost.
"Listen, I'm starting to think you have the right idea," he said, walking over to the spot where she lay, spread out naked, on the bed. "Let's just get this over with," he said, sliding his hand up her thigh. "Though feel free to take as long as you want," he said. "I know I can go for days sometime. If it's with the right girl," he said, sliding his hand higher until it connected.
Anya moaned, feeling his cold touch against her warm skin. "OK," she said, her voice breathy. "But remember- no biting."
Spike nodded, leaning in to lick the nape of her neck. "No biting on my part," he said, kissing the spot instead. "No cursing on yours."
"So 'Oh Fuck Yes' is out?" Anya said, grinning as she moved her hand between Spike's legs.
"I think you know what I mean."
"I think I do," she said nervously as she bent in to kiss him.
+++++
The drive back to Sunnydale had been a perfect one. There was no traffic, the sun was shining down, and there was a nice breeze that passed through the driver side window as Xander turned onto his street.
As he parked in front of his apartment, he realized just how glad he was to be home. He wasn't sure he would have lasted another month, especially with all the girls reminding him of how he really only wanted just the one anymore.
He stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut and heading up the walkway. As he made his way to his apartment, he couldn't stop thinking about touching her again, kissing her again, hearing her talk about money again- all of it. He had missed it all.
When he opened the door to his apartment, he knew something was wrong. The place was a wreck- tables knocked over and clothes all over the floor. His heart started to race as he took in the scene, and when he heard a low moan coming from the other room, he leapt to action.
"Anya!" Xander called out, pulling open the door to the bedroom.
One look inside, and he slammed it shut in front of him. "Oh. My. God," Xander said. "So what happened is, I have heat stroke," he said to himself as he turned and headed to the refrigerator. "And the heat stroke is making me have these delusions." He reached in for the orange juice and drank from the container. "Because, I couldn't have just seen that. I mean, no. I really really couldn't have."
"You really really could and did, mate," Spike said, walking out of the bedroom without a stitch on him. "Sorry, Xander. Your girl told me all about your little plan, and I just had to pitch in. Team effort and all, right?" he said, patting Xander on the shoulder.
"Spike!" Anya said, stumbling out of the bedroom, fidgeting with her robe. "Would you please leave now?"
"Well, you seemed real interested in me coming a minute ago," Spike said, grinning. "You sure you want me to go now?"
"I am so sure that I may physically remove you myself," Anya said, angrily.
"Sure you have any strength left, love? I think I took a lot out of you. Know you took a lot out of me," Spike said, stretching. He looked at Anya, who was glowering at him. "Right then, I'll be running along. But you know what crypt to go knocking on if you and Xander here can't work things out."
Xander stood there in shock as he watched Spike bend down and pick up a pair of pants from the ground. He watched as the vampire quickly dressed, a smile on his face all the while. "Be seeing you, I suspect," he said as he walked out of the apartment.
The two of them stood there in silence for several minutes before Anya spoke up. "Xander?"
"Hmm?" Xander said, not turning to her. He still was having problems accepting what had just happened because, in his mind, there was no way that it could have. "Well," he finally said. "I would say 'Surprise', but I really think you win on this one."
"Xander, we had an agreement," Anya reminded him. "I mean, I didn't want you to find us, but we did talk about this."
"Not with Spike," Xander said, turning to her angrily. "There are certain things we don't do with vampires. We don't play beach volleyball. We don't eat garlic knots. And we certainly don't have sex with them!"
"Unless you're Buffy," Anya corrected him sarcastically.
"It's just so easy for you to use her in an argument, isn't it?" Xander said, folding his arms.
"Surprisingly yes," Anya said, folding hers. "Look, while you were off sleeping with every Jane, Jill and Debbie, I was a little more selective."
"Spike? You consider sleeping with Spike being 'a little more selective'?" Xander shook his head, unbelieving.
"Well, since Giles left, it's not like there's a lot of guys that are options. It was either Spike or Willy the Snitch."
"Willy's a good man!" Xander said. "And quite attractive, if looked at from the right angle. Now he- he would have been an excellent choice."
"Xander," Anya said, sighing. "He was the only one. I mean, I just- I don't know. You call me and tell me about all these girls, and I couldn't do it myself. I chickened out," she said, her voice disappointed. "So I thought- just this one time before you came home. And you k now, you weren't supposed to -be- home just yet, Xander! I never thought you would walk in on that!"
"Well, at least you didn't have sex in our bed," Xander said, shrugging. "I mean, I know you like the floor and a-" Xander looked at her, sighing. "You just wound up on the floor, didn't you?"
"Eventually," Anya said, her voice low. "Look, Xander. I know this was all my idea, and I know that seeing me with Spike of all people can't be easy on you. But tell me we can get past this."
Xander sighed, walking over to the couch and plopping down onto it. He wasn't sure if he could ever get the image of the two of them out of his head, especially considering the position they were in was one the two of them had never even tried before, but he couldn't forget that this was something they had both agreed to.
"An-" he said, turning to her and watching as she came to sit down next to him. "Just tell me one thing. One thing and then I can forgive you."
"Anything," Anya said, her eyes hopeful. "Anything at all."
Xander gulped. "Am I better than him?"
"Well," Anya said, looking away. "Let me put it this way." She turned back to him and grinned. "No."
"What?" Xander shrieked, and now he was sure that the whole experience was just one big case of heat stroke. "You're kidding me, right? I mean, right? Right?"
"Right," Anya said, smiling. "Of course, you're better. You're Xander. My Xander. No one else's."
"Damn straight."
+++
The End.