Okay so woah .. finally I am posting something here !

So everyone this my first , very very first try at writing ! and you all may find it real shitty or out of character but ...aye , it's there now . so just like please review , say anything you want , just say something , anyone who will read it . also .

Disclaimer - me own nothing ! (except for my toothbrush) .

also this is a oneshot . and God i know I'm bad at this ..now bye .

"I don't need it anymore" Cas said , throwing it on the motel bed ,"its worthless" his voice that was normally devoid of any emotions had a certain tone of Heaviness to it , and he disappeared .

They stood there blankly for a moment before Sam , with desperately forced hope in his voice , tried one last time , even though he knew it was useless "we will find a way to end this" ,

"How ?" Dean asks from behind him , one single word that's just been uttered from his mouth was enough to know that he , Dean Winchester out of all the people , had given up .

Dean picks up his duffel and the amulet , it's obvious , like present in the air , the betrayal being felt by the elder brother .

And suddenly Sam remembers the night he left for Stanford , it flashes before his eyes as he watches Dean making his way towards the door .

He remembers the fight , the look on his brothers face as he walked out the door and his father's words that still haunt him from time to time , but he also remembers what we didn't see .

A 18 year old boy with so much weight on him , not of the backpack of course it barley had three shirts and two pants in it , but things just felt heavy , and how he just really honestly wanted to turn , run , run back the path he traveled to just see his brothers face again , run back in his arms , run back to his brother just really run , and so he did , he ran , but not back because words that he couldn't even remember , words he couldn't even make out around the jumble in his mind kept buzzing in his ears , making everything feel fuzzy and heavy and God so heavy !

Sam watches Dean stop right before the door , his duffel hanging from one shoulder and other arm hovering over the trash can .

Sam remembers getting off the bus , the "Welcome to Stanford" sign blinking at him , he remembers looking around to see if anyone else got off the bus , he remembers seeing no one , standing at the bus stop and somehow managing to feel grateful for being alone at God knows what hour of night .

And presently as he watches his brother gently drop the necklace in the trash , He remembers calmly placing his luggage to the side and bending over at the edge of the road , With Dean walking out the door he remembers pucking at the roadside even though he was sure he was empty stomach since morning that day .

It doesn't even take Sam a flash to rush to the trash can , putting his hands in and pulling out the amulet , that now had something sticky stuck to it . He knows he should be feeling heavy but he doesn't , this time he's feeling light , like as if gravity is barley working on him and it's not like he has time to think cause the only thing audible over his thumping heart is the Impala's engine coming to life , for some reason he feels as if things should be in slow motion , but they are not , instead this time around everything's happening so fast and he , he's just working on autopilot , as he places the amulet in his pocket without even taking a look at it , and closes the door behind him as he makes his way over to the Impala .

It's not like the feeling of guilt , of betraying someone is new to him , just this time around it's far more worse .

For probably the first time in his life , Sam Winchester , ever the analytical one , sat with literally nothing on his mind , completely blank , as the Impala drove out of site .

It's not like he had the time to sit and wallow in his regrets .

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please please please people please do tell me what you thought of it ! . thanks!