Disclaimer: I do not own anything resembling Supernatural nor do I make anything from writing this.
The original idea comes from Madmarchhare3 on AO3 who was kind enough to share with me and proof this wacky creation. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!
-Bobby-
The bachelor party had been both a success and a disaster. Dean had managed to burn down the bar after they had stayed until closing, seeing as how he hadn't been too happy with the service. Or at least that's what he claimed was the reason for setting fire to the place. It was time to lay down the law with those two. It was one thing to do demonic things around Rufus but he wasn't about to have a church full of hunters finding out the boys were demons. In all honesty he wasn't looking forward to that conversation.
He found the duo in a side room, fixing their bow ties and making sure they were ready. He closed the door behind him, "Alright, have a seat, we need to have a talk about something."
Dean scowled at him, giving one last tug on Sam's tie before sitting down. Sam sat beside him looking worried, "What's wrong, Bobby?" Sam sounded a little worried.
"There are going to be a lot of hunters here and you two need to keep the fact that you're demons under wraps, no one is to know, got it?"
"It's not like it's a disease, we're not going to infect someone." Dean grinned.
Sam shook his head, "You behave." He poked Dean in the shoulder, "We don't want to be exorcised and ruin Bobby's wedding, do we?"
He sighed, "Alright, alright, I'll behave."
"Good, now get out there and show people to their seats."
They looked offended and Sam spoke, "We're not ushers."
"You are now, think of it as human practice."
As Bobby stomped off after pushing the pair into position in front of the church entrance, Sam turned to Dean, "Say, you did remember to lock up Bella, right?"
-Dean-
This was the worst job ever. Escorting a bunch of ignorant humans to their seats was boring. He had only gotten Jody's side of the family so far, not a single hunter. Sam on the other hand seemed to have the opposite problem and he didn't look happy. Dean had just finished escorting a sweet little old lady, Jody's grandmother he assumed, when he spotted what he knew was going to be his biggest problem. The woman had to be in her forties, dark hair was piled on her head in curls. She was dressed in bright red and the dress was tight and small, pushing her breasts up to the point they were almost free of the low cut top. She clung to Sam's arm, smiling up at him. This was not going to fly, didn't she know Sam was his?
He inwardly snarled, his lip curling up slightly as he moved over to them. Sam was pulling her hand off his arm, virtually forcing her down into her seat. Dean slid up behind him, his fingers gripping his shoulder, "Hey Sammy, who's your friend?"
He tensed slightly under Dean's hand, "Dean, this is Carmen, she's in our line of work."
He smiled darkly, "Carmen, how wonderful to meet you." His hand slid down Sam's arm, slipping down to grip his hip, "If you'll excuse us, there are people waiting."
They moved back toward the door, Sam letting out a sigh of relief, "Thanks, she's crazy."
"She's dead if she keeps trying to feel you up." He bit out, glaring back at the woman whose eyes seemed to be focused on Sam's ass.
He could feel more eyes on them than just Carmen's however and managed to overhear a hunter, Travis he thought, talking, "Are you sure those two are brothers?"
They finished escorting guests and were quick to make their escape back to Bobby. He did not look happy, "What do you boys think you're doing? Keep your damn hands to yourselves." He hissed.
Dean rolled his eyes, "We're behaving, don't blame me for someone trying to feel up Sam."
"It's about time to get out there. I think I saw the priest getting ready."
"You boys go get lined up." He grumbled, heading out.
The boys shared a look before Dean looked out after Bobby, "He looked a little shaky, think he's ok?"
-Sam-
Carmen kept looking at him and winking. When he was walking down the aisle with Jody's cousin she had reached out and pinched his ass. Dean was fuming behind him, had virtually snarled at her when they went past. Bobby had shot Dean a glare and hissed something to Rufus, it was like a game of telephone that forced him to order his brother to behave. The moment he saw the priest he knew something was off and Dean was holding back a snicker, Alastair was riding the priest. There was no way they could let Bobby know that his priest was the King of Hell. Sam doubted that he would appreciate having such a powerful demon joining them in wedded bliss.
He glanced out over the audience, spotting people he knew. Ellen and Jo looked wonderful, it was great to see them, had been far too long since they had gotten together. There were other hunters that he recognized but hadn't seen in forever. Alastair was starting but it wasn't like any wedding he had ever heard of.
"We have been gathered in this...place of worship." His lip curled up slightly, "To bear witness to the union of these two humans." Sam cringed, "We are here to bind these two together, forever." Forever in Alastair's mind most likely literally meant forever, maybe even beyond death, "In the eyes of all those present do you Robert Singer take Jody Foster to be yours for eternity? To cherish and keep safe? To honor and protect from all things dark and wicked?" He smirked and Sam caught a scowl flit across Bobby's face.
"Yeah, I mean, yes, I do." He looked a Jody, smiling crookedly.
Alastair turned his gaze to Jody, "And Jody Foster, do you take Robert Singer as yours forever? To honor and love? Will you cherish this man and keep him as your own?"
She smiled, focused on Bobby, "I do."
Alastair smiled, "Wonderful, by the powers vested in me I pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss and seal the deal."
They kissed and Sam knew exactly what Alastair had done, they made a deal with each other and under the purview of the King of Hell it was binding even if they didn't kiss the demon. Sam's first thought was that it could have been worse, at least the deal wasn't for their souls.
-Bobby-
A demon was officiating his wedding and as he glanced up and saw a flash of white eyes he knew exactly who it was, Alastair. The King of Hell was officiating his wedding. First Dean gets a little handsy with Sam and now a demon had possessed the minister and married them. He held Jody close, giving her another kiss, this was their day dammit and he wasn't going to let a bunch of demons ruin it for him. He pulled her down the aisle, surrounded by the cheers of their guests. Dean was catcalling and he spotted Castiel clapping in the back. It seemed the angel had recently arrived. It was a relief to see him, he would be able to help with damage control. He must have looked nervous, one of the hunters, Garth, was eyeing him suspiciously. He couldn't let anyone find out about Sam and Dean, not to mention Alastair, it would cause a riot.
"Cas, I need to talk to you when we sit down, it's urgent." He hissed softly as they walked past the trench coat angel.
Castiel nodded and Bobby let out a sigh of relief, turning his gaze to Jody. She looked at him with concern, "What's wrong?"
"Everything's fine." He gave her a small smile, "I just want today to be perfect."
She kissed his cheek, "It is, don't worry about a thing."
He pulled out the chair for her, pushing it in before taking his seat. Castiel was there when he scooted in against the table. The angel looked confused, watching as everyone found their seats, Garth was watching them. Bobby could practically see the wheels turning, he was observant, that's for sure.
"What did you need to speak to me about?" Castiel leaned forward, cocking his head to the side.
"I need your help. People can't know that Sam and Dean are demons or that Alastair just officiated out wedding."
Castiel blinked, "You were married by the King of Hell? Shall I banish him?" Bobby cringed but thankfully the angel kept his voice down.
"I need you to make sure that no one finds out. If people start to suspect make them not, do whatever it is you angels do, make them forget. There are too many hunters here, it won't end well if they try to exorcise them."
He nodded, "I shall take care of it." He moved toward Garth and Bobby turned his attention to Sam and Dean.
-Dean-
Castiel had taken Garth away not long ago and he looked a little dazed when he returned. Ellen and Jo had been eyeing him a little suspiciously and that crazy woman wouldn't keep her eyes off of Sam. He really needed to do something about that but he wasn't sure what yet. Rufus had given a very interesting speech and Dean wanted nothing more than to stand up and give his own, he could do better than the old hunter.
"I'm going to give a speech."
Sam glared at him, "What?"
He nodded, getting to his feet and tapping his knife on his glass, "I have to say something." He grinned at Bobby, receiving a head shake and the hunter covered his eyes, "Bobby has always been there for us, when we were in...on sabbatical, learning new skills, we couldn't wait to get back and show the old man what we had learned. He's always welcomed us back with open arms, even when he thought something was wrong. This man has been a father to us and we wouldn't be the men," he chuckled softly, "we are today without him. You deserve this, man." He turned his gaze to Jody, "You make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, he's not immortal and always seems to get himself into trouble." He sat down, looking over at Sam. His brother looked surprised, "What?"
"That was really nice."
"It's Bobby." He shrugged, "The man deserves good things." His gaze moved to look over the crowd, "Shit." He froze, looking at the door.
Sam turned to see what the problem was and sighed, "Dammit, let's go deal with this before someone sees him."
Crowley was at the door and he looked about ready to come inside. The pair attempted to move discreetly to the door only to be stopped by Garth, "Where're you two going?" He questioned.
Dean motioned to Sam with his head, patting Garth on the shoulder, "Just need a little fresh air before they cut the cake."
Castiel moved to stand behind the hunter, "Everything is fine, Garth, nothing for you to worry about." He touched two fingers to his forehead, "Thank you, Dean, go and help Sam with Crowley."
Dean shrugged and went out the door, that wasn't the first time Cas had messed with Garth's mind and with the way things were going it wasn't going to be the last. He pushed through the door to find Sam and Crowley in a heated argument.
"You can't be here, do you realize how many hunters are in there?"
Crowley rolled his eyes, "This so called wedding is just an excuse for you hunters to get together and share secrets, I want in on it. Alastair is here, come now, Moose, don't make me ruin your little party."
"Hey, Alastair wasn't invited either, he just showed up wearing the priest." Dean crossed his arms over his chest, "You should go."
He narrowed his eyes, "I want in on this so you can either let me in or I will find another way."
"What's going on out here?" Bobby stepped outside behind Dean, "Balls."
Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "Crowley, this is Bobby. Bobby, meet the demon who causes all the problems."
"Not all of them." He looked offended.
"You were after Purgatory and convinced Dean to make deals for you, how'd that work out?"
"He still has five more but he's good at it." He smirked at Bobby, "Let me in on your wedding, I'll even give you a gift, I want to meet some of these hunters."
Bobby narrowed his eyes, "I already have three demons in there and an angel who is mind wiping half my guests. I don't want a fourth showing up and making things worse."
"An angel? Don't tell me, Castiel." He rolled his eyes, "I'll be on my best behavior, scouts honor."
"No, go back to Hell." He turned back to the door, "Boys, make sure he doesn't cause any problems." He went back inside, shaking his head.
"You heard the man, Crowley, go home." Dean shook his head, arms crossed firmly across his chest.
"Sam? Dean?" Ellen was coming, they had to get rid of the crossroads demon.
Sam flicked his wrist, sending Crowley up into the air and onto the roof, followed by the sounds of breaking tree limbs and muffled swearing. "Hi, Ellen, how's it going?" Sam grinned at her.
"Bobby and Jody are getting ready to cut the cake, are you coming?"
"Of course! Wouldn't miss it for the world." Dean grinned, putting an arm around her shoulder and heading back inside with Sam close behind.
Bobby was just cutting into the cake when Dean noticed something was wrong, "Where's Sam?" He scowled, turning around, "Sammy?"
-Sam-
He had been close behind Dean when she struck. Carmen grabbed his arm and pulled him into a closet. He knew she was aggressive but this was crazy. She captured his lips, forcing him back against the wall. He flailed, trying to push her away without hurting her. His eyes went wide as her hand wormed it's way into his pants. Where was Dean?
"Come on, Sam, I know you want me." She let out a low groan, pressing close against him.
He swallowed, pulling his mouth away from hers, "No, no I don't."
She let out a sound of frustration, finally working the button on his pants open, "Don't you think I'm beautiful?" She pouted, grabbing his bottom lip between her teeth.
"Listen, I'm taken, you really don't want to mess with my partner."
Said partners familiar footsteps were closing in, "Sammy? I'm missing cake for this, where the hell are you?" Dean did not sound happy.
"Dean!" She cut off his cry with a kiss, pinning him back against the wall.
His arms flailed as the door was pulled open revealing a rather irate Dean Winchester, "Hey! Get your grubby paws off him!" He snarled, eyes flashing yellow as he grabbed her arm and pulled. Sam darted out of the closet as Dean shoved her against the wall, "Keep your hands off him."
"There you are, Moose, I have a bone to pick with you." Could this get any worse? Crowley was approaching them at a brisk pace with the remains of a leaf in his hair, "You don't just throw a man onto the roof and leave him there."
"Sorry, hey Crowley, meet Carmen!" He grabbed the demon by the arm and flung him into the closet, Dean took the hint and darted out as Sam closed the door, "Have fun you two!"
"What the bloody hell?" Crowley shouted.
The brothers stepped back from the door as a loud thump and another curse were heard from inside, "Devil's trap?" Dean grinned.
Sam nodded, running out to the Impala to grab a can of spray paint, "Devil's trap."
-Alastair-
The importance of certain humans to his boys necessitated his presence at special occasions. They hadn't demanded he come, had only mentioned the wedding in passing, but they should have known he would be in attendance. The look on Sam's face when he realized Alastair was officiating the wedding was priceless. Bobby had figured it out partway through but he didn't seem to mind as much as he thought he would. His chosen partner was quite the woman, he liked her immediately, and had even taken a moment before the wedding to sit and speak with her. That conversation is what made him decide their wedding needed to go a little deeper than just the normal human bonding, they deserved their forever. He made it happen, binding their vows into a deal. Of course, no one would come to collect in ten years. The deal was between the two humans and maybe when they died he would reserve a special place in hell for the pair.
The hunter he was speaking to was absolutely fascinating. He was young and a little on the skinny side, but that hardly mattered. He had a kind of dazed look on his face after he came back with Castiel and Alastair was intent on finding out how many memory wipes a human mind could take.
"Now you see, Garth, there are certain points on the human body where if you apply just the right amount of pressure you can make anyone talk. There's no guarantee it will be the truth but at that point you have to just keep trying." Garth was looking uncomfortable, almost frightened even, that a priest was discussing the finer points of torture. Alastair paid no mind and kept going, "Now, Dean, he is quite the artist when it comes to extraction. He's had decades of practice and will only get better in time." Castiel was hurriedly coming, just what he had been waiting for, "Ahh, Castiel, have you met Garth yet? Of course you have, we were just discussing the fine art of torture. I do hope you're enjoying the festivities, it is quite a lovely wedding."
"Alastair, that is not an appropriate topic of conversation. Dean gave me a list of things to discuss, perhaps you would like to read through it for ideas." He touched his fingers to Garth's forehead and the hunter's eyes glazed over for a moment.
"How many times can you do that before he looses his mind?"
"Is that what you were attempting to find out?"
Alastair smirked, "Perhaps. If you were to tell me I could cease my experiment."
"I am unsure, it would be best not to continue however. I am sure we don't want Bobby's wedding to be forgotten. I have already been forced to wipe his mind six times, he is far too observant when it comes to spotting demons, especially when the demons in question are not being discreet."
Alastair smiled, "It makes things interesting. These hunters pose a minimal threat, especially with normal people around and Bobby would be none too pleased if Dean and Sam were to come to harm."
"Where are Sam and Dean?" He scowled that the demon.
"I believe I saw them with Crowley. It's likely you have another mind to wipe." He smiled darkly as Castiel walked away, intent on finding the boys. Now, what was he going to do? Ah, she looked interesting. He made his way to a group of young women, "I do hope you are enjoying yourselves, is there anything I can help you with?"
-Bobby-
Things seemed to finally be settling down. Alastair was having a discussion with some of the guests, talking about Lord knows what, Castiel was with Garth, and the boys were...where were they? He let out a drawn out sigh and ran a calloused hand over his face. He would have to find them before they caused any problems. He found Sam coming in the door with a can of spray paint and a grin on his face as he shook it.
"What do you think you're doing?"
Sam froze mid-shake, "Locking Crowley in the closet?" He stated, innocently.
Bobby crossed his arms over his chest, "Why is Crowley here and why is he being locked in a closet?"
"To keep the crazy lady off of me?"
Bobby scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, "Where's Dean?"
"Sammy!" speak of the devil "Hurry it up! Crowley's trying to get out!"
He shrugged at the older hunter and ran off down the hall.
"Get back here, ya idjit!" This was his wedding day and they were not going to go putting spray paint all over the church.
By the time he caught up Sam had half a devil's trap already drawn and Dean was holding the door closed, "Hi Bobby." Dean grinned.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Dean rolled his eyes, "What does it look like? Trapping a demon."
Bobby grabbed Dean by the ear and pulled him away from the door before snagging Sam's arm and pulling him away, "Get over there and stay." He threw the door open, grabbing the two inside and jerking them out, "You, keep your hands to yourself." He growled at Carmen before looking at Crowley, "And you, what are you doing here?" He turned to the boys, tugging Crowley with him, "If the two of you can't pretend to be human for a few more goddamn hours I'm going to exorcise the lot of you!"
Crowley glared at them, "After that fiasco with the closet I deserve compensation." He adjusted his coat, fixing his collar.
"Can you behave for a piece of cake?" Bobby bit out, teeth clenched.
"Of course, Robert."
He sighed, "Go find a seat and have some cake, no deals." He growled. Crowley smiled and did a little wave at the brothers before heading off to the reception hall. Bobby rounded on Sam and Dean, "No spray paint, no throwing people around, no fighting, and keep your damn hands to yourselves. Now go find Castiel and have him fix Carmen so she doesn't go spouting off that there are demons here."
"Whoa, Bobby, you let demons into your wedding?"
That seemed to get her attention at least. He sighed, "Shut up, Carmen, and keep your hands to yourself."
Her already short dress rode up higher as she grabbed a blade from a thigh holster, "Bobby? What the hell is going on?"
He was getting too old for this, "Balls."
-Dean-
Growling, that's all he could hear in the back of his mind, very familiar growling. This was not good, Bobby was going to kill them. He could see it now, not even Alastair would be able to save them from the wrath of Robert Singer. Bella was here and she wanted Sam and Dean. It wouldn't do to have a full sized hellhound running around the wedding. They needed to do something, fast. Sam seemed oblivious to the growling until the growl turned into a bark, making them both jump.
"Dean, how did Bella get out? You said you locked her up!"
No one else seemed to hear her which was good, "Of course I did, she was in her kennel and a trap, everything. There's no way she could get out."
"Well, she did." Sam still had the can of spray paint tucked into his coat, they were going to need it.
"It's not my fault! Come on, let's go outside and see if we can trap her." Dean got to his feet, moving to the doors, Bobby was giving them the eye. He had every right to be suspicious after they tried to trap Crowley with Carmen. Castiel had fixed that mess quickly which was nice and she was leaving Sam alone which was even better, "Let's go! She listens to you more." He hissed when Sam hesitated.
Sam got to his feet, going after him. The happy growl followed them but not without taking down two tables and a fat old man. Dean cringed slightly, Cas was not going to be happy if he had to wipe the entire room. The man steadied himself, waving it off like he had tripped, the table she took down wasn't as easy to wave off, maybe they could blame it on a broken leg. This had to work, Bobby was running himself ragged. Jody, ever being the trooper, was working hard to keep him calm, but it seemed like everything that could go wrong was.
"Come here Bella, come on." He patted his legs, the hellhound wiggled over to him, jumping and bouncing in front of him, "Sit." He closed his hand into a fist, "Sam, draw the trap." He scratched behind her ears as Sam began to work, "Bella, you can't go running around topside, you have to stay put unless we call you. You want to be a good girl, don't you baby?"
She barked and wagged her tail as Sam finished, "Come." Sam ordered, pointing to the trap. She whined softly but did as she was told, "Be a good girl and I'll let Dean take you to work first thing, I know he's been giving you treats. Spoiling you rotten."
Her tail gave a halfhearted thump against the ground, "It's ok Bella, I'll make it a really good one, like that psychopath that you liked to mess with. We'll come get you after the wedding, you be a good girl and stay." She barked and Dean smiled, "Good girl, let's get back before Bobby sends a search party."
-Crowley-
The cake really was excellent, all sweet and creamy frosting over layers of airy cake, and none of that fondant crap. He was sure Jody picked it out, lovely woman that one. Sam and Dean had run off again, that hellhound of theirs close behind. There was definitely something going on here but, he decided, the cake was more interesting. He took another bite and moaned in pleasure as he caught sight of something hazy, something not quite there. Things were about to get even more interesting, either the church was haunted, or someone brought an invisible friend. He really should let someone know, after another slice of cake.
-Castiel-
He had no idea that a wedding would be so tiresome. He thought this would be a good chance to see a human bonding ceremony. He should have known that nothing would be so simple when the Winchesters were involved. Trouble liked to follow them and it was a hunter's wedding, he supposed that should have meant strange things were bound to happen. He was getting tired but he promised Bobby he would help, he needed help.
He sighed and closed his eyes, "Balthazar, I require your assistance." He had found a nice secluded area of the church to get in contact with his brother.
"This had better be good, Cassie." He poked him in the back of the head.
"I require assistance. Bobby asked a favor of me and I am having...trouble, carrying it out."
He crossed his arms over his chest, "What is it?" he huffed, sounding bored already.
"Help me keep Sam and Dean's condition a secret. There are humans here who do not know of the realities of the world and Bobby desires to keep it that way."
Balthazar looked thoughtful, "What do I get out of it?"
"The knowledge that you have done the right thing."
"I'll help but I get to enjoy the party."
Castiel nodded, "Very well."
Balthazar smiled, "Let's get this party started!" He headed out the door with Castiel close behind.
-Ellen-
Something was very wrong. The wedding was beautiful and Bobby looked happy, but Sam and Dean were off and now there was a ghost. There was also that Cas character, she wasn't sure what to think about him and he was acting just as odd as Sam and Dean. On top of that, she was beginning to suspect that she was missing small chunks of time. As Garth was also looking dazed, she had a feeling he was missing time as well and it all seemed to center around Cas. Her eyes narrowed as Cas came back in, following behind a new man. He immediately came toward her, a smile on his face.
"Good afternoon." He smiled at her and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
She crossed her arms over her chest, "Good afternoon." She glanced past him, spotting a flickering image, "Excuse me." He seemed nice enough but there were more important things than flirting, like the ghost.
As she headed outside to her truck to get supplies, she spotted red paint. Someone had drawn half a devil's trap on one of the closet doors, something was very wrong here.
"Ellen!" She jumped, turning to see Dean standing there, a crooked smile on his face, "How's it going?"
"Just going to get some supplies, there's a ghost."
"Did you tell Bobby?" He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.
She shook her head, "No, he deserves a nice day." She paused, there was something off about him, "Everything alright?" She wrapped her fingers around a small blade in her purse.
"Great, never been better." He said a little too cheerfully. He pushed off the wall, "How's Jo doing?"
"She's fine, flirting with one of Jody's cousins I think, Christo."
He jerked slightly, eyes flashing to yellow, "Shit! You really shouldn't have done that." He sighed as she pulled the blade from her purse, "Cas! Get your feathered ass in here." He growled lowly, eyes locked on Ellen.
"Get out of him you son of a bitch." She took a step back away from him.
"Dean, what do you need?" Cas looked at Ellen and sighed, "What did you do?"
She turned and bolted, the knife wasn't going to do much to the demon and who knew what this Cas was. Stupid heels, she kicked them off, darting out a side door. Dean was already there, leaning against her truck, arms crossed over his chest, eyes locked on her. He smirked and waved before her gaze was blocked by the dark haired man in a trench coat. His fingers touched her forehead and she knew no more.
-Balthazar-
He was sad Castiel hadn't called him down in time for the actual wedding but the reception was wonderful. He loved weddings, plenty of women and men without partners, gazing at the lovely couple and wanting it for their own. It gave him plenty of people to flirt with. His most recent target, a pretty woman named Carmen, had gone outside and he was giving chase. She certainly wasn't playing hard to get and he wasn't sure if he approved or not. He always liked a challenge. He scowled, loosing sight of her, where had she gone?
"Son of a bitch!" He jumped forward, whirling around, something bit him. His ass was on fire as he came face to face with the glowing red eyes of a hellhound. A hellhound who was wagging it's tail and gazing at him...fondly? He reached out and smacked it on the nose, fingers glowing blue, "Bad, I know my ass is tasty but no biting!" The hellhound let out a low growl, it's lips curling up, "Easy there puppy, no need to get uppity." He took a step back before turning and running back inside.
"Hey, Balthazar? What the hell?" Sam scowled as he bolted past, only just noticing the thing he was running from. "Bella, no!" He shouted, "Down!"
The angel ignored him, barging into the reception hall, "Someone call off the damn dog."
"Easy tiger, she's called off." Sam said from the doorway.
Jody got to her feet, slamming a hand down on the table, "Enough! This is my wedding, my reception, and you keep stealing my husband away from me! You, Sam Winchester, will march your demonic ass in here and sit down!" She turned on Balthazar, "You will clean up this mess and figure out what keeps tying to ruin my day!"
Balthazar watched as Sam bowed his head and moved forward, taking his seat, the hellhound by his side. The dog laid down, letting out a soft whine. Balthazar cleared his throat, "So, Mrs. Singer, what can I do for you exactly?" She was one scary lady.
"Get out there and take care of that ghost so Bobby doesn't have to."
"Before or after I perform a few memory wipes?" The hunters in the room were staring at Sam, a few of them reaching for hidden weapons.
Her eyes narrowed, gazing out over the crowd, "If you don't leave Sam and Dean alone I swear to God you won't have to worry about a couple of demons, you'll have to deal with me." Her side of the family was looking shocked and surprised at the events happening around them. Even her batty grandmother frozen. "Where's Cas?"
"He was with Ellen and Dean." Sam said softly.
She scowled, looking at Sam, "Where's Dean?"
-Jo-
She had been sent to go find Dean and Castiel, so far she'd had no luck. This was pointless, what did Jody think Castiel could do? Why did she think they would be together? This whole wedding was a mess, beautiful but a mess. Sam was possessed and Jody had decreed a hands off policy, there was a ghost running around, and people were missing.
"They're in a closet on the second floor." She whirled around to come face to face with the ghost. He was a young man dressed in a nice suit with a red and grey striped tie. He smiled at her, "The men you're looking for, Dean and Castiel? They're on the second floor."
She blinked, "Thank you?"
He smiled wider, "You're welcome." He disappeared.
A polite ghost none the less. No one was going to believe her. She quickly headed upstairs, checking closets the minute she hit the landing. The sight that greeted her when she threw open the door made her freeze. She found them, but not in any position she had ever dreamed of. Dean had Castiel pressed against the wall, their lips locked together, hands in each other's hair. Castiel's legs were wrapped around Dean's waist. Her mouth went dry and heat flushed her face as she watched them rock against each other. They looked amazing, she licked her lips imagining what it would be like to be between them.
"Dean, a little firmer." Castiel's voice was rough as he bit at Dean's lips.
He moaned, rocking against him, pressing against him harder, "Like this?"
"Yes." His fingers clenched at his shirt, gripping the fabric, "Almost there."
She wanted to reach out and touch them, to slide up behind Dean. She shook her head, she wouldn't, couldn't disrupt them. They were too perfect, she swallowed hard, eyes going wide as Dean gave a final thrust and they both moaned into each other's mouths.
"Jody wants you downstairs!" She gasped quickly, her cheeks were red as she watched them share a soft kiss. Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one yellow focused on her. She turned and ran.
-Dean-
That little romp in the closet was worth it, even if they were caught. Hopefully she wouldn't tell Jody what they had been up to. They were sticky though and that just wouldn't do for going back down into public. He felt so lucky to have an angel.
"Can you clean us up?" He licked the dark haired angel's ear.
"If you can control yourself." He laid a hand on his shoulder and the stickiness went away, "Jody demands our presence."
It felt like he was walking to a firing squad, his death waited behind the doors to the reception hall. He pushed open the door slowly, Castiel a constant comfort at his side. Sam was sitting at the table, Bella at his feet. Jody looked like a queen with Bobby beside her. Even Crowley looked properly cowed. What really got his attention, though, was Balthazar moving through the crowd, touching people's foreheads. He was mind wiping the non-hunters in the room.
"Castiel, if you would be so kind as to help Balthazar I would appreciate it." She turned her gaze to Dean, "As for you, young man, take a seat." He was moving before she finished speaking, sitting beside Sam, "Now, I think it's time to open presents."
Bobby opened he first one and immediately looked confused. There was no tag, no discerning marks, but the object was very strange. It was a shell and carved into it were a series of marks.
"Enochian?" Bobby scowled at it.
Sam perked up, "Can I see it?"
He shrugged and handed it over. Sam grinned, taking it and turning it in his hands, examining the marks, "The revealer of secrets, the sower of chaos, pandemonium." He scowled, "Bobby, I think you were cursed."
"Balls."
-Gabriel-
Ok, so maybe doing it at his wedding wasn't the best plan but what other opportunity was he going to get? All those hunters centered in one location with the Winchesters, it was too good to pass up. He was sure he was going to face the wrath of Jody for this; but all the secrets and the lies...Bobby Singer needed to learn his lesson and so did the demonic duo. He hadn't expected Castiel and Balthazar to get involved but he should have known better. The best thing was that he hadn't really had to get his hands dirty, the artifact had done that for him. The ghost, well, a kid had done that. One of the hunters had a daughter and she just couldn't help herself. With a hellhound running around, a wily cougar going after Sam's ass, and a jealous demon why not go a little further? Thanks to Castiel no one remembered who had summoned it or how it had gotten there but watching them run around was priceless. His favorite though was Crowley, his timing had been perfect, and who knew a demon could fly that well? The jig was up though, Bobby found his present. Of course they didn't know it was his gift, but he had a feeling Castiel and Balthazar would ruin his fun soon enough.
He was waiting, waiting for them to come to him. He wasn't going to reveal his hand too early, they may not even know it was him. Cas and Balthazar had gotten through every last person in the reception hall, most of the hunters included. The only ones who hadn't been mind wiped were Ellen, Jo, and Garth. He had a feeling it was because they had already been wiped too many times. Besides, that was the point of this exercise, you can't keep secrets from those closest to you. A sigh escaped Castiel's lips at the sight of the shell and Balthazar was snickering behind his hand, Jody had really put the fear of God into those two. Gabriel grinned as Castiel began to speak in Enochian, his little brother knew and was about to undo all his hard work but it was time.
"Gabriel, we demand your presence." Castiel's voice carried through the hall, through Gabriel's very being.
Time to make his grand entrance. He threw open the double doors, watching as all eyes locked on him, "Ta-dah!" He bowed deeply with a flourish, "Welcome ladies and gentlemen, angels and demons of all ages, I hope you all enjoyed my gift and I have to thank you for being so much fun!"
Bobby was on his feet, "What the hell? God damn tricksters trying to ruin my wedding!" He moved around the table, "Stay right there." pointing at the offending archangel. He growled, intent on getting an appropriate weapon, "When I get back I'm going to kill you."
Gabriel sighed and shook his head, snapping his fingers, freezing the groom in place, "This was a lesson and it was the only way I could give it. You would have kept on, keeping those closest to you in the dark. I couldn't let that happen. Backlash Bobby baby! These people trust you, you can trust them, and if not, well, you have angels watching over you."
"That's what this is about? Trust? I trust them with my life! Ellen, Jo, Rufus, Garth, I trust them."
Gabriel smiled, "But not with your greatest secret, not with Sam and Dean."
"Sam and Dean?" He scowled and Gabriel's smile grew.
"Yes, the demons in your life, their status as denizens of hell. Your best buddies don't know and you keep it from them, you help keep the biggest secrets without even knowing what they would do if they knew."
"They would do what I did." He looked over at Ellen, "You can't tell me that knowing what Sam and Dean are, you wouldn't try to exorcise them."
"They're possessed?" Her eyes narrowed at the boys.
Dean got to his feet, "Screw you Gabe! If this was about us why didn't you take it out on us?" He growled, eyes flashing yellow.
"Because no one is close to you except Bobby. Not really. It's Bobby's choice to keep your demon-ness a secret from the others instead of letting them know so they don't go after you when they accidentally find out, and they will find out. You can't keep something this big a secret for long." He looked over at Ellen and Jo, "You don't want to get hurt, you don't want the people you care about to be hurt, and you don't want to come up against each other where you'll have to make a choice to kill them or not." He looked at Sam and Dean, "Your nature as demons would not allow you to let harm come to yourselves, you would kill them without regard to how it would make Bobby or anyone else feel."
Sam stood, laying a hand on Dean's shoulder, looking at Gabriel, "I get it." He looked at Bobby, "Keeping what we are a secret, if it's going to cost you allies and friends don't do it."
Gabriel heard shuffling behind him but ignored it, "See! Sammy gets it! Ye-ouch!" He yelped, feeling teeth clamp down on his butt. He whirled around to see a hellhound sitting there, tail thumping happily on the ground, "Bella!" She barked, wagging her tail harder, "I don't have any treats this time."
"Bella, come." Dean hissed. She whined and crawled over to him, laying on her belly, "I get it, fine, Bobby, no more secrets. You're married now, new leaf and all that."
Bobby looked over at Jody and smiled, "No more secrets."
She stood, moving over to him, "I know you wouldn't keep any from me, tell your friends."
He turned to Ellen, Jo, and Garth, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Sam and Dean are demons, they're not possessed."
Garth gave him a small smile, "It's ok Bobby. I understand, you were worried about them and I know I would have exorcised them."
"You can't expect us to go along with this." Ellen was stubborn.
"I kind of had an idea when I caught Dean and Cas in the closet, Dean's eyes were kind of yellow."
"Joanna Beth Harvelle!" Ellen crossed her arms over her chest, "Demons are a problem, a serious problem, and if they are in Sam and Dean it could be even worse than just a normal possession." She paused, "What do you mean saw Dean and Cas in the closet?"
"They were making out." She blushed, "It was hot."
Bobby glared at Castiel, "You were making out?"
The angel blushed, "We had an encounter in a closet, it was quite enjoyable. I do not believe that is the issue here." He glared at Gabriel, "Brother, you have caused great distress in these humans, it is your responsibility to fix it."
How could Castiel say it was his responsibility? He did his part, he taught his lesson, it wasn't his place to clean up after. He sighed, he supposed if he didn't he wasn't going to hear the end of it.
"Alright, Ellen, here's the deal. The whole situation is messy, I know, but Sam and Dean are demons, not possessed, you kick them out and their bodies will go all limp and floppy. They've been demons for over a year now, saved the world, stopped the apocalypse, all that good stuff. I like to think they're hunters first and demons second. So, no killing them, no sending them back to hell, all that is a no-no. You don't have to work with them, just accept that Bobby kept a secret, no more secrets, and it's all good."
"I'm not going to work with them. Bobby, when this comes back to bite you in the ass I'm going to be the one there to tell you I told you so." She wrapped her arms around him, "You're a good man, Bobby Singer, a damn fool but a good man."
Gabriel smiled, clapping his hands, "Good! Happy wedding, enjoy the rest of your party."
"Gabriel, sit down and have some cake." Jody smiled at him.
He beamed at her, "Why thank you!" He practically bounced, grabbing a piece and sitting down, digging in.
She moved over and leaned close, whispering in his ear, "Thank you."
He grinned, his work was done and he had cake, all was right with the world.