Just to start out: Welcome back! And welcome to Do You Want to be Loved?, the long awaited, highly anticipate sequel to A New Day. YAY!
This took a bit longer than expected to get rolling, but I really had to think about it... I had A New Day fully planned out before I started writing. I had to think, "What do I want to have happen? What do I think would have been realistic for Addison and Alex? What would be a satisfying Season 3?
And I had also decided that this was it. I'm not going to be writing an Alternate Season 5. This is going to be the last, so I also needed to come up with something that would put Addison and Alex in a place where it wouldn't be like I needed another season. And well, I came up with it.
I finally got my inspiration from the song "Lullaby" by The Dixie Chicks. That's also what I named the fic after. You can find it on youtube, so if you want a bit of a spoiler for the rest of the fic, listen to it and read the lyrics.
Another note: As a fake Grey's Anatomy author, I made the executive decision to put off the angsty stuff one season. So this is going to be significantly more dark and twisty than A New Day. Just so you know. ;-)
Okay, enough of me-- here is the first chapter of Do You Want to be Loved? Please keep reviewing. I know it's tempting not to, with Season 4 of real Grey's coming up, but put it on your alert list, bookmark it, anything. Reviews are so lovely. :-)
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Unbelievable, Karev.
Was there any other way to describe it? It was freaking unbelievable. And now I'm starting to sound like him.
Damnit.
Addison could hear the applause in the back round: "And the Oscar for lamest choice of people to fall in love with: Addison Forbes Montgomery Ex-Shepherd, could've been Sloane, could've been Karev!"
Well, at least this time around, she managed to be hurt by someone who actually loved her. But could she even believe it? "Hi, I'm in love with you, but I'm going to disappear tomorrow morning." As idiotic as it sounded, it actually seemed to tie perfectly in with her life. And, despite all of this, she continued to walk towards the front double doors of Seattle Grace hospital. Why was she even here? A sane person would be gone by now—on a plane to New York the day after Derek's Christmas "spirit". Or at least departed after both dotted lines were signed and sent to the courthouse.
If she had leaved, she wouldn't be in this situation right now. This place of having fallen for the male mirror of her ex-husbands girlfriend. How could he have been anything to her? What was he, 32? Could he really be expected to stick around for some grandmother, even if he claimed he loved her? How could Alex even know what love was?
But if this was the case, what explained the look in his eyes after the kiss in the scrub room? The way his jaw got tightened just so much when she described her ex-husbands callousness? How he let out such a momentous sigh when she finally spoke of her love for him? How could someone who had been saving and nurturing infants for the past five months not know what love is? And not know what hurt is either? So how on earth was she in the position she is now because he abandoned her in the morning, when the light finally shined on them, and why was she was alone?
She vaguely realized she had stopped by the front desk. Why had her feet stopped? Was it from fear? She found her answer when she lazily found herself staring at the seats by the windows in the main lobby. Addison, what are you doing here?
Though it had seemed so cruel at the time, as he protectively stood in front of another woman, she found herself, so many months later, being asked the same question in the same place: this time not by her betraying husband, but by herself:
Addison, what the hell are you doing here?
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She finally gathered herself (doesn't that sound like she had been ripped up in a million pieces, and she managed to put them all in a plastic bag for further examination?) enough to leave the lobby and head for the elevators. Though she knew it was impossible to get into a good mood today, she knew working would at least make her feel better than moping around and being sentimental all day. Addison Montgomery was not a moper. Well, most of the time, anyways. She allowed herself to mope when her 11 year marriage came to an end. But she was not moping over a nine-month escapade with an intern.
But Karma had decided not to leave Addison alone today, and speaking of interns, a certain Grey (so funny that that was actually how Addison was describing her mood) was calling for someone to hold the elevator doors. As she sidled into the seemingly enclosing metal compartment, Addison couldn't help but feel some animosity towards the younger woman. She was, after all, another reason why Addison was in this position now. Then she remembered Meredith's relation to Alex—was it possible that he had gone to her as a refuge, and Grey might know where he was? But before she could ask anything—
"Where's Alex?"
That was one of the last things she had been expecting. (Next to: Derek and I broke up, he realized that he is still in love with you). Why would Meredith be asking about Alex? Surely she couldn't know of their… (affair? Courtship? Wooing?). But Addison couldn't bring herself to lie. "I was going to ask you the same question."
All of a sudden, Meredith's eyes widened as she took it all in—the extra heavy layer of make up on Addison's eyes, the flatness in her voice, and despite all of it how she was standing rather carefully, how Meredith usually had to stand after a night of way too much sex… and the dots were connected. Meredith's eyes widened, her jaw dropping ever so slightly. Curse you, Alex.
They exited the elevator in silence.
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But, as it ended up, Addison wasn't able to shake the intern just yet, for they both had business with Dr. Bailey. If Meredith didn't know where Alex was, then surely his resident would. Addison had to see him now, for how in the world could they work together today before sorting stuff out first? No, Addison was ready for the confrontation. Asking Bailey where Alex was. She had a pang of sympathy for Meredith, and how she had to report to Bailey every single day. Even this one task with the Nazi was daunting.
Meredith respectfully lessened her pace and allowed Addison to approach her first. "Dr. Bailey, my intern—."
"Yes, where is your intern? He was supposed to be here two hours ago."
She froze.
What?
How?
Where…
Meredith was watching the whole thing, how Addison couldn't move, and also how Dr. Bailey was slowly reading and deciphering her facial expression. Oh God, Bailey can not know. In a moment of empathy (and sympathy too, Meredith hoped) for the older woman, she offered a request that she would probably regret in the near future: "Dr. Montgomery, do you want—erm, can I be your intern today?"
Addison's bubble burst—thank god. She was taken aback by this offer—now it was definitely crystal clear Meredith knew what was going down. Not everything (she still hadn't responded to where in the hell Alex was…) but enough that she was offering to be Addison's intern. And with a sigh, she accepted.
Where is Alex?
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Okay, I'm ready for the flying tomatoes. LOL. One thing though-- did you notice I started the fic with "Unbelievable, Karev"? Because that's how I started A New Day. I confess, I am a huge fan of symmetry.
Please review! If you do, you can find out where Alex disappeared to...