This story was inspired by the T4 program about Tom Cruise's "Collaterol". (Or how ever you spell it). The reporter on and off the red carpet was not only ugly, did not only dress appallingly but she had bad hair! I mean really! What sort of an excuse is that? Don't these people have hair and make-up assistants. Why didn't the camera man tell her she looked like shit?

"Mr.Cruise!"

"Mr.Cruise!"

"Mr! …"

"ugh"

Buffy Summers lowered the microphone and turned to her cameraman, Jack, who sent her a shrug. Tom Cruise was now past her on the red carpet and had stopped to talk to another reporter.

Buffy groaned and motioned the microphone at Jack so he would start packing up. She had contemplated throwing it at Tom Cruise's head in order to get his attention but dismissed on the terms that she couldn't be bothered with another lawsuit, God knows the last one had been bad wnough. Sighing she turned around and started towards the car park with Jack. They had barely reached the end of the red carpet and had just started crossing over to the car park when an unnatural silence fell over the screaming fans.

Buffy turned to stare only to be confronted by a speeding black limo screeching to a halt just in front of her, blocking her view to the red carpet and splashing her from head to foot in muddy water.

She started to fume and as the driver got out the car she stepped up to give him a piece of her mind. Letting out a squeak of indignation as he brushed past her, she watched as he crossed over and opened the door of the limo.

The crowd suddenly went wild. Buffy jumped up and down but all that she could see was a crown of gleaming slicked back platinum hair over the top of the limo. But that was all she needed.

"Spike" she hissed.

Dragging Jack with her she moved over the side of the limo and stopped to watch as Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise! Made his way down the red carpet to Spike.

"Correct me if I'm wrong" muttered Jack. "But doesn't the reporter generally greet the star and not the other way around?"

"But Spikey is a star!"

Wincing from the excessive use of exclamation marks Buffy turned to stare at the squealer. A perky blonde Cruise fan stared at her, Tom Cruise grinned at Buffy from where he was stretched across the girl's ample breasts. His face rippled as she stuck out her manicured hand for Buffy to shake.

"Hi! I'm Harmony!"

Jack pushed his hand in front of Buffy's and clearing his throat introduced himself. Turning away from Jack and his fascination will Harmony's ehem brains, Buffy once again faced the crowd. Spike was shaking hands with Tom Cruise and after they posed together for one last picture he started to make his way back down towards the limo. Towards her!

Gazing frantically around for someone to save her Buffy started slowly backing away. She was sooo not in the mood for Spike right now. Jack was too preoccupied with Harmony's assets to be of any use to her right now she noticed so she decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately she hadn't taken into account the large bump in the carpet and therefore made a spectacular spectacle of herself by flying through the air and landing at the perfect spot. Right in front of Spike. Just what she needed to start her day.

She focused on the smooth hand in front of her face and ignoring it, pushed herself up onto her feet.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in…. Pet, if you needed help dressing you should have called"

I'm not listening

I am not listening

"And that hair, I mean how did security let you onto here"

Beneath me, Spike is beneath me

"Try and stay clear of puddles, luv, I'd hate to see you come down with a cold"

And that was when her fist slammed into his face.

OKAY! Tell me what you think? This is the first Buffy I've writtten so all critisism is readily accepted. PLEASE REVEIW!

p.s. and yes this is another Buffy makeover story BUT I'm getting through it with humour and without the cliches. The thing is I havent read AU BTVS for a while so drop me a line to tell me what they are, either here or at