And so the two materia "scientists" traveled through the trashed streets of Midgar. They had finally come across a portable materia fuser. Though it took a good portion of their gil (9998), it was the best thing they had ever bought. And the only thing for two weeks. Including food. It was a good thing Pepsi and chips could last so long...

"Next time we come here, IM bringing the Sparkle materia!" said Alexander.

"Well then I can use the Mirror one first!" said Alice.

Alexander angrily grumbled at his friend's bargain. She could always be a shop owner if she had to.

"So, where did you say that vibrating materia is again?" The tall brunette asked impatiently.

"So a right here...The left of this bar...HERE!" the blue-haired man suddenly stopped as Alice walked into a dark, muscular man.

"I'm sorry Chuck! Still haven't gone a day without hitting something!"

The tall man just chuckled and walked off.

"One day you're gonna fall down a hole and go insane," Alexander said as they walked into the average-looking house. The instant they opened the door and entered, Alexander's top hat started to shake. Alice's dress was flapping wildly, the skinny blue part and smaller white pieces moving wildly. They stepped as swiftly and gently as possible (in other words, Alice tripped on the rug and fell on the couch) to the back room. There, they found a man huddled in a corner, surrounded by Bombs.

"Oh no, GO AWAY!" Alice screamed as she used the Sparkle materia and a mist formed. When the Bombs turned around, their last sight was the mist turning into glowing stars.

"Lucky"

"Oh shut up Alexander. You know it was cool."

The scared man stood up and brushed himself off. After going through all his pockets, he finally pulled out a small, clear orb. The materia was like every other one, except for the small eighth note in the center.

"Thank you for saving me. I was practicing fusing Bomb DNA with a Black Hole materia...Not my best idea."

"Could have been worse! Don't you think so Alice?"

"Yeah-OOF!" (Why yes! It was another rug!)

"Anyway...We should be getting home now."

Alexander lifted his top hat and walked out with Alice

~At The House~

"So were having pizza tonight?"

"Yeah, I need some GREASE!"

"Senorita Wide Hips will have pepperoni then."

"...Meanie."

As the two scientists ate their dinner, they worked on the new materia. After discovering it could turn music into magic, they decided to call it Spell caster. When they copied it and fused it with Composer materia (Turns magic into music and is black with a white eighth note), it created a strange materia...

"Hmm..." The bluenette pondered, "I'm gonna go try it."

"NOoooo. IM gonna!"

The woman stated and thus started another one of their arguments. It ended with women being superior , men being nicer, Alexander was fat, Alice was a scrawny ho, La Roux is amazing, mangas are better than comics, and the iPod Touch was Alexander's. They (somehow) agreed to use the new materia together tomorrow.

~The Next Day~

"Sigh...Get up Short-stick."

"Murflehurpduh"

"Ill buy you a hooker if you get up."

"Id rather you not."

"Then I'LL do anything you want~"

"How many times have I re-informed you of your ho-ishness?"

"376"

"Make it 377."

"Ill get the cereal and coffee."

"Thanks"

"Get out of your PJ's."

"...Maybeee."

After getting their breakfast ready, listening to Clowns by t.A.T.u., and falling backwards, Alice went to check on Alexander. When she opened the door, a disoriented and half-asleep Alexander fell and face-planted her.

"I'm reeeeaaaally tired. Can I take a nap?"

"No. Now get up. Breakfast is ready."

"Food or boob nap..." Then came the noise of a food-deprived stomach. "Food I guess."

When they finished eating and went to the lab, they tried to use the new materia. Although trying doesn't mean using properly.

"Why cant I get this stupid thing to WORK!"

"Calm down. Maybe it just needs a man's touch"

Alice thus tossed the materia to the nonathletic scientist who nearly dropped it. ...

"HA! SUCK IT MR. MAN!"

"Fine then you can put it up."

Neither of the two noticed that while they were walking to each other that the materia started to glow all the colors or the rainbow. Bow saw, however, that when they both held the materia, wisps of color swirled around and surrounded them. They both thought how strange this was. Then Alexander thought of the dream he had last night. And so did Alice. Then Alice thought of the table she fell on while Alexander was still asleep. So did Alexander. When Alexander let go of the materia, the wisps disappeared. Alice's thoughts didn't. They agreed that the new materia should be called Telepathy. And that they should go to Olive Garden for lunch.

~The End til Time allows again~

Blah blah blah copyright blah. If you think I'm stealing all this and profiting or whatever then go slap yourself a few times. Maybe you'll find out that I'm not. This is also my first time doing this on FanFiction so I'm not quite used to uploading and such yet.