The silence in the Bunker was the silence of the grave. But Dean Winchester had long ago discovered there was one sure way to mask it. His old friend Jack Daniels threw one hell of a pity party. And that party was in full swing after Sam headed off to bed, taking his disapproval with him.
Hours later, the sudden clank of footsteps down the stairs announced the arrival of an unexpected guest. Or maybe an expected one. Whatever. Dean didn't bother looking up. He knew those footsteps too well. He knew another lecture was coming. God, he was sick of all the blah, blah, blah.
"Where's Mary?"
"Gone." Dean waved the bottle in his hand, the dismissive gesture failing dismally to hide the depths of his hurt or the extent of his inebriation. Slumped in his chair, he couldn't have looked more miserable if he'd tried.
"Gone?" the angel repeated.
"You got it," Dean took a hearty swig from an almost empty bottle. "Took off. Vamoosed. Hit the trail. I thought she was different, Cas. Mothers are supposed to be different. But she's just like everyone else. She left me. Again. And this time it's of her own free will. Do you know how that makes me feel?"
"Dean..."
"Everyone I love either dies or leaves me. Mom, Sam, Cassie, Dad, Bobby, Charlie, you. Some of you even get to jump ship more than once." Dean's eyes were wet with unshed tears as he gazed up at the angel. "How many times do I have to say goodbye? How many times do I have to bury my feelings in a damned bottle until I can't feel anything anymore? How many – "
"You love me?" Castiel breathed.
Dean blinked, his eyes comically owlish as his brain finally caught up with his runaway tongue.
"You love me." Castiel gently removed the bottle from Dean's hand and set it aside. Hooking a chair with one foot, he slid into the seat and leaned into Dean's space. His hands cupped the hunter's, warm flesh replacing cold glass. "Oh Dean, don't you know I love you, too?"
"But you always leave me," Dean whispered. "I've lost track of all the times you've left, all the times you've been lost, all the times times you've died."
"But I always come back," Castiel said. "Somehow, I always make my way back to you. I always will. I couldn't stay away if I tried. Circumstances may sometimes tear us apart, Dean, but I never want to leave you."
"Then maybe you could just stay," Dean replied, a quaver of hope in his voice. "Stay, Cas? For me. With me. Please?"
A sweet and gentle kiss was Castiel's answer. His arms wrapped around the hunter's shoulders, pulling him closer as he slowly deepened the kiss.
It wasn't the reaction Dean had anticipated, but damned if he had any complaints. If forever has a flavour, he thought, then this is it.
"I can work with that," he murmured as their lips finally parted. His cheeks were flushed. His heart pounded madly in his chest, and his breath came in uneven gasps.
"Good," Castiel said, drawing him back in for another, even more blistering kiss.
Good doesn't begin to describe it...
And that was the last coherent thought Dean had for quite some time.