He loves me, she repeats over and over in her head like a song with a catchy melody she just can't forget. A symphony of second guessing and an orchestra of doubt tell her otherwise, but she repeats her beloved mantra while standing surreptitiously in the corner, watching the events of Nikki Dalton's usual Friday bashes fall into play. Except this time, she's the subdued wallflower, not the stunning rose on the arm of golden boy Derrick Harrington. Rest assured, he kept himself in the company of a beautiful array of girls, all while shooting sheepish glances at the wilted Alicia Rivera, subtly challenging her to question or confront him.
.x.
Emphasis was a powerful thing. He loves me, she'll think once more of the days where his caramel colored eyes and secret smiles were only for her. He loves me, she's brought back to the surprise of how perfect Derrick could ever like somebody so imperfect like her, and is reminded of how the shock never quite faded. He loves me, and Alicia will try (and almost fail) to convince herself that's she's the real one in his life, and the other girls are simply poor imitations of the electricity they shared.
.x.
But then Derrick places his perfect mouth on Massie Block's equally perfect lips, and she doesn't notice that she champagne flute she held shattered into little glass pieces and ruby red drops of blood marred her hands. Maybe she would've seen it, if it wasn't for the sick way her eyes simultaneously wouldn't look away or stop the tears from flooding. And there were tears, but only for a moment. A moment in time where she accepted that he was not perfect and that if she had a penny for every time he utterly disappointed her, she could buy herself a new heart to replace the one he always manages to break.
.x.
The moment was fleeting, and before anyone could have noticed anything was wrong, her hands were cleaned and her eyes were doe-eyed as ever. Maybe she was selfish, keeping away such an exuberant burst of life from everyone else. Maybe Derrick Harrington simply wasn't cut out for monogamy, or maybe he was just drunk on the toxic combination of his own power and vodka.
.x.
She takes all of those reasons to heart and gives him another chance, even if it kills a little of her in the process. The mantra manages to return to her mind, pushing it's way past anything that could possibly contradict it. Derrick catches her eye from across the room and grins madly; she can't help it, she'll always be smitten with a boy she knew, deep down, did not deserve her. Even if it wilted her spirit a little more.
.x.
"He loves me. He loves me. He loves me."
author's note: well that was a bit of a downer, wasn't it?
hope you guys enjoyed this, be sure to tell me what you think!:) oh and part two of "stark raving red" is coming very, very soon.
xo,
Ren