Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Tears in Heaven
By: ChoCedric
This could not be happening.
Of all the horrible things Mr. Amos Diggory had ever imagined, he had never imagined this: his strong, handsome, seventeen-year-old son lying stiff and motionless on a hospital bed, his cherubic face frozen in a look of loneliness and vulnerability. And it was all his fault.
If only, he reflected as he stood sobbing at the bedside, lovingly stroking his son's limp hand, his grief-stricken wife by his side. If only he'd told Cedric he loved him just as he was, if only he hadn't pressured him to be in this damn tournament, if only he hadn't lowered his son's self-esteem by questioning every decision he made, everything he did. This was his punishment, to have the light of his life taken away by a green flash of light.
Professor Dumbledore had just left the hospital wing after telling him and his wife exactly what had happened to their son in his final moments. His suffering had been very little, but the expression his face showed was complete confusion and shock. Even in death, Mr. Diggory could read his son; he'd always been able to during his life as well.
"God, Ced, I'm so sorry," he wept as he leaned close to Cedric's face. "I never told you, never told you you were my perfect boy. I realized too late that you were the apple of my eye, everything I wanted and needed. I never got a chance to apologize to you for the fight this morning. But wherever you are now, Ced, I hope you can forgive me." Tears streamed down his face as his wife Eileen held him close.
"He knew, darling," she soothed softly. "He always knew why you were hard on him, Amos, but he knew you loved him more than life itself, as did I."
Indeed, he and Cedric had had an argument just this morning. "What do I have to do to get you to love me!" Cedric had screamed. "I try and try, but nothing I do seems to be good enough!" He'd then stormed away from a shocked Mr. Diggory, looking alone and miserable, just like he looked now.
Growing up, Amos's father had always been hard on him. Whatever he did, Marcus Diggory had always expected him to do better. "My heir needs to be more responsible, more of a man," he had reprimanded.
Now, as the man continued to stare down at his son's corpse, he knew that the cycle should not have continued. But it was now too late to tell Cedric that his every breath had been for him, that every beat of his heart had been for him. He had been wrong, to think that Cedric had to be perfect. Every human had flaws, and now Amos was seeing his own. He had never treated his son like a human being; he had treated him more as a robot, a carbon copy of himself.
As the night wore on, Cedric's girlfriend, professors, and friends came to bid him a last goodbye. There were many heartfelt tears and words shared between them, and Amos also couldn't seem to stop crying. All his life, he'd been told that crying was for women, that men simply didn't stoop to that level. He'd also been told that men were the ones with the stiff upper lip, that they couldn't show they were vulnerable in a time of crisis. But at the moment he'd seen his son's lifeless body, with his beautiful, mesmerizing gray eyes staring into nothingness, he hadn't been able to stop the horrific scream that left his lips. He hadn't been able to resist the need to run over to him, to hold him like he held him as a toddler, to stare into his eyes and wish for them to blink, to show some sign of life.
"Do you really think he knew I cared, Eileen?" he asked in a broken voice as his wife gently caressed Cedric's face, as though memorizing every curve.
"He knew, Amos," Eileen reassured. "Neither of us could understand sometimes why you were the way you were with him, but he knew you loved him. Do you know what he told me, right before he went into the maze?"
"What?" asked Amos breathlessly.
"He told me to take care of you if anything happened to him," Eileen said. "It was as if he knew how you'd take it."
Tears sprang to Amos's eyes again. "I just wish I'd never pressured him into being in the tournament," he choked out. "I wish he'd known then that I was proud of him, even if I didn't admit it to myself. I wish he hadn't worked so hard just to prove to me that he could be loved."
When the night was finally over and the sun began to rise in the east, Mr. and Mrs. Diggory took their son home to Ottery St. Catchpole. A week later they held a funeral for him in a quaint little church. Friends, loved ones, and family were all there to mourn him.
Amos felt supremely awful about it, but he couldn't muster up the courage to speak about Cedric at the funeral. He was so plagued with guilt that he couldn't confess to how badly he'd treated him. He didn't want to admit to himself that his pressuring Cedric had led him right to his death. Instead, he let Eileen do it, and he was astounded by how strong his wife was being. Even though she had tears streaming down her beautiful face, she was speaking of the love, joy, and laughter Cedric had brought into both their lives.
When it was time to bury him, Eileen blew one last kiss to the coffin and said, "I love you, my handsome, brave baby boy. Rest well, and I will see you soon."
Mr. Diggory, through blurry eyes, stared at the coffin too. The only two words he was able to mouth to it were: I'm sorry.
As the coffin was lowered into the ground, he could suddenly swear he saw a teenage boy's smile reflected in the sunlight, and hear his soft voice say, It's okay. I love you too, Dad.
The End
Would you hold my hand,
If I saw you in Heaven?
Would you help me stand,
If I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong,
And carry on,
For I know I don't belong
Here in Heaven.
-Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven