Note: This is mostly a joke. WARNING FOR SLURS.
All About Gary Harrison
Oh Jesus fucking Christ, not again. Gary Harrison groaned as soon as he woke up.
He looked around the room and gently shut off his blaring alarm, stretching and changing out of his green and purple striped pajamas, into clothes that would be more appropriate for school. He fixed his hair meticulously in the mirror, before he joined his family downstairs for breakfast. His younger sister and older brother waved him hello and asked him if he'd slept well - the usual. Those dumb fuckers.
"Gary honey, would you like some pancakes?" His mother pleasantly inquired.
What the fuck kind of a shitfaced question is that, you dumb bitch? Why the hell wouldn't I want some pancakes? "Oh boy, I'd love some, mom!" He responded, feigning a kind grin.
She handed him a plate of pancakes, smiling sweetly. He smiled right back, beginning to dig in.
"Good morning Gary!" His older sister greeted him when she walked down the stairs.
Look at this lazy ass fuck, can't believe this bitch is only coming down now. No wonder she always just barely makes the god damn fucking bus. "Morning Jennifer," he waved.
Breakfast didn't last long, and they were all sent on their way to the bus stop. Gary approached his usual place, fighting the glare that wanted to take over his face when he saw those stupid douchebags. At the bus stop he took, there stood Pip Pissface, Christophe Douchebag, and Gregory Whatever-his-shitty-last-name-was. Gary smiled at them sweetly.
"Hey guys, good morning! How are all of you today?" He smiled pleasantly.
"Why hello Gary," Pip smiled back. "I'm quite well. I had the most splendid breakfast this morning and I slept very well, thank you! How are you?"
Oh holy fuck I didn't ask for you to tell me your life story, you dumb cunt. "That's awesome! And I'm great, now that I got to see my friends. What about you two?" He turned to Gregory and Christophe.
"I'm well, thank you." Gregory sniffed, looking away.
Christophe rolled his eyes and made a gagging sound at Gary's pleasantness, to which Gary's eye twitched.
You dumb fucking slut, how dare you fucking ignore me? You think you're something, you little shit? Go fuck a horse, dirty bitch. Gary Harrison laughed softly, which Christophe took as him just being nice.
When the bus arrived, Gary held in a sigh that was desperate to escape. God, I hate these stupid assholes, was his only thought as he entered the mode of transportation. He sat towards the front as usual, ignoring the jeering of those shitfaced cunts in the back.
Upon arriving to school, Gary sat in his assigned seat, which was right next to Eric Cartman - probably the only kid he sort of respected, but even then, Gary hated his fucking guts and couldn't wait for the stupid fucker to burn in Hell. Which was lenient in contrast to what he felt to the other students.
Mr. Garrison started talking about some backwater nonsense that Gary thought was dumb as fuck. He glanced over to those two shit stained cocks, Kenny McCormick and Kyle Broflovski. Those two sons of bitches were laughing over something, probably the first thing their empty minds could conjure up. Gary smiled condescendingly as he jotted down some empty notes based off of what Mr. Garrison was saying, before noting Stan Marsh.
Stan Marsh.
Now that was a guy.
Of course kids had been mean to Gary before. Usually he just mentally flipped them off and reminded himself that they were all going to Hell and he wasn't. But then there was Stan Marsh - someone who'd gone so far as to befriend him and then change his mind? The fact that someone had enough audacity to do that to him, Gary motherfucking Harrison, was shocking. And it allowed the more profane part of Gary, the one that he repressed as much as he could, to escape, just a little.
God, he wanted to beat the absolute shit out of Stan Marsh, then spit on his face and piss in his mouth. The thought made Gary smile, which, he supposed, made it appear as though he was smiling at Stan. In a way, he was. Stan glanced over to him and raised his eyebrows, before looking away, and Gary thought he saw a pink haze dusting his cheeks.
Gary chuckled to himself. Stan was such a little fucking faggot. He was so tempted to know more about that - Stan's sexuality. Well, it was fine by him. He supposed Stan was just trying to have a little bit of fun before he was to burn in Hell for all eternity, the ignorant little shit. Gary wasn't exactly sure why Stan got like that around him, of all people, but it didn't really bother him - he hated Stan all the same.
Lunch time rolled around, and Gary ate his packed lunch by himself. He didn't think he could take sitting around anyone else for lunch, disguising it by just being courteous to other kids by not invading their lunch tables. He really detested everyone he knew, and was pretty thankful that his religion prevented him from going to Hell for it.
He caught Stan Marsh looking over at him a few times, and he muttered some stuff to Kyle, who elbowed him and glanced over to Gary too. Gary smiled and waved pleasantly, thinking to himself what dumb fucking cunts they both were. Stan seemed flustered. What a cock sucker. When lunch time finally ended, he returned back to class, back to the grind of learning useless shit and writing shitty useless notes in his shitty useless class.
School ended and Gary allowed himself to sigh in relief, inwardly grimacing every single time someone said hello to him in the hallway. They were all stupid fucking fags, and he hated every single one of them. Still, he smiled and waved back, and when he got onto the bus, he noted Stan's gaze lingered just a bit too long on the empty seat beside Gary. He didn't take it, thank God, because Gary was pretty tired of dealing with Stan's idiotic crush on him. Stan didn't know shit about Gary, and Gary was confident that Stan wouldn't still have feelings for him if he knew what Gary was really like.
Gary Harrison arrived home, did his chores, all the while thinking about what cum gargling assholes his parents were for making him do chores. The day drew on, his family all stupidly laughing like the crusted urethras they were, playing board games as Gary feigned laughter, dizzy from living such a fake life.
Sleep was a sweet break from his painfully stressful life, dealing with all these dumb bitches and not being able to speak his mind until his thoughts just festered and grew worse as time drew on.
And when he woke up, the same thought graced his mind as it did every morning:
Oh Jesus fucking Christ, not again.
Mostly just messing around with the idea that maybe Gary Harrison is just being suuuuper fake. I don't think he really is, but the thought was kind of funny, until I realized how stressful it is to not be able to speak your mind.
Keep in mind that I do not necessarily condone the usage of some of these words under most circumstances, as this is from Gary's point of view.