Serena's P.O.V

I sat on the bathroom floor, water from the sink slowly dripping down to make a puddle on the floor. But I couldn't bring myself to stand up to turn it off. The stupid little stick next to me had frozen me. Or more specifically, that stupid little pink plus sign on the stick. The one that matched the other three lying scattered around the bathroom. Now I can't even blame it on a faulty test, I guess I have to admit that I'm pre... preg... pregn...

Oh I can't do it! I can't say it to myself. But I can't give it up, or get rid of it. The one promise I never want to break is the one I made to myself when I was ten. When I decided that no matter what, I would never abandon my child. And I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it either. I guess... I was going to be a mother within the year.

And Nate... Nate would be a father! Except... I couldn't... I can't... telling him would ruin his life. It won't come as a surprise to anyone that I messed up again, but Nate had a bright future in front of him. One I wasn't willing to snatch away from him. And it's not like we are together, it was just one night! Juliet hurt him, I was there for comfort and a couple of bottles of later, things ended up going a little further than we meant to.

After I felt the water reach my hand, I pushed myself up and turned the tap off. I looked into the mirror, and gave my reflection a sad little smile. My hair was sticking to my face, my mascara was now running down my cheeks and my make-up was smudged all over my face. The only times I'd looked like this before was on my wilder nights out.

"Serena?" I heard Blair call my name and I quickly flung some water over my face and trying to make myself look at least somewhat presentable, as I heard her call again.

"In a minute." I shouted back. I was about to walk out when I seen the tests. There was no way I could let Blair see them, she would tell Nate, and... Well he would do the honourable thing, but I couldn't let him do that. I wasn't letting him throw away everything he could achieve as I messed up. No, the only thing for me to do was leave. I don't know where I would go, just anywhere but here.

"Serena!" Blair screamed back. I took a deep breath in to compose myself, and flung the tests into the bin as I walked out of the bathroom in search of Blair.

"Yeah?" I asked once I seen her standing in the middle of my room.

"You'll never guess what that Chuck Bas..." she started as she turned around and then paused when she seen me. "What happened to you? You look worse than homeless person."

"Thank you Blair, you look lovely too." I replied and went to sit on my bed. "Did you want something?"

"Oh right!" she exclaimed as if remembering what she was meant to tell me. "Chuck was at Columbia today! Can you believe it? That was my territory, my safe place, the one place I could escape him!"

"You could just give in, and admit your stupid war is well... stupid." I replied, clearly when something is on my mind, it chooses not to work.

"And give in?" Blair asked shocked "Oh no, this calls for payback. That's what I came to ask, me and Dorota are going out to strategies, you want to come?"

"No, I have some work to do for class, and I really want to get it finished tonight."

"Suit yourself." Blair shrugged. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah." I replied sadly knowing she wouldn't, as she walked out the door I got up and ran over to hug her. "Goodbye Blair."

"Are you OK?" she asked raising an eyebrow "I'm only going out for a while."

"I'm fine, just wanted to say goodbye is all." I shrugged trying to play it down and blink back my tears.

"I'll see you later S." she said as she walked out of the door. Once I knew she was gone I found my suitcase and began stuffing clothes into it. I would just take the basics and get anything else I needed later. I just needed to get away as fast as I could, I would worry about the other stuff later. I grabbed my purse and my passport, then ran downstairs.

Pausing momentarily, I walked out of the building and hailed a cab. Climbing into it, I asked him to take me to the airport.

"You going anywhere nice?" he asked me as he began to drive down the road.

"Anywhere but here." I replied placing my hands over my stomach. From now on, the person growing inside me, had to be the most important thing ever. And today would be the last day that Serena Van Der Woodsen could talk to anyone from here, tomorrow I would have to invent someone new. Someone responsible, someone who had to get a job, someone who couldn't drop everything at the drop of her hat. And the most important thing, I had to become someone who could fix her own mistakes and not rely on other's to do that.

As he pulled up to the airport a small tear ran down my face. I wiped it away quickly, shoved some bills into his hand and walked away with my suitcase, while the driver shouted I had given him too much. I just walked on, towards the information desk. It didn't take me long to get a standby flight. One for tomorrow morning, heading towards London.

England would be my new home, and the place where I start my life over again. I just hope I can give my child the life they deserve, as I am already denying them the chance to know their father.