He left.

She slammed her staff onto the ground and received far more enjoyment from the line of flames that answered her command and danced up her target's body than she had a right to, than she would have any other night. Isabela's knives finished the job.

It had taken three years for him to show up at her house. Three years of innocent flirting and one disaster after another. Three years of waiting finally ended…so he could turn around, tell her it was too much and leave.

She smacked the wood of her staff against another target's head and, again, got far more enjoyment out of it than she knew she should; the blade on the bottom of her staff ended that target and she turned to look for more.

None.

Isabela and Varric stood, or rather, leaned against a wall and gave her a strange look, part concern and part exhaustion. Aveline was panting, but smiling and walked over to pat her on the back, "I think that takes care of it, Hawke. You've routed out all three gangs bases in one night. Don't know what got into you tonight, but good job." Donnic appeared at the other end of the street and Aveline waved as she went to him…happily married, or well on their way to it anyway.

A real relationship while she had been left as nothing more than a one night stand. Her excuse for a relationship had taken three years to start and one night to end. Had it been so bad? Better than anything he could have imagined, he said, right before he ended it. Her staff slammed into the ground and a line of flames fanned out around her, with no target to go to, they merely circled around her.

"How about we get you to the Hanged Man where you can start a bar fight or something that doesn't scream 'here's your excuse to lock me up in the Gallows with the other mages' to the Templars?" Varric commented with a look at Isabela, both of them pushed themselves off the wall and made their way to her, unusually cautiously.

She didn't notice the flames still twirling about in their circle, her hurt and anger fueling them until Isabela stopped and looked at the scorched ground. They died out instantly. She didn't want to go to the Hanged Man and sit there and wallow with all the others, she didn't want to get so drunk she couldn't feel this hurt and pain and anger anymore. "No. I want…", she struggled with her words as she looked at the bodies that littered the ground.

"I don't think there's anyone left to kill, sweetie", Isabela was also looking around and flexing her arm.

Miriam reached over without thinking and healed the minor slash that was dripping blood down Isabela's leg. The action seemed to take some of the caution out of both of her companions, as if until that moment, they had thought she was possessed. Miriam looked around again and couldn't blame them. Had she really just spent last night having Anders teach her healing spells, buried up to their elbows in the needy and festering bodies of the ignored population of Darktown to hone her non-lethal skills?

"I supposed you're right", Miriam relented and, with that, the anger that had fueled her vanished. Now all she wanted to do was go home and sleep, possibly for the rest of the year, "I think I'm just going to…"

Isabela grabbed her by the arm and shook her head, "Oh no, not after making me play the town hero tonight. When I said there was coin in getting rid of idiots, I didn't mean to make a night out of it. You owe me at least one game of diamondback and several drinks."

"Don't look at me", Varric started to talk just as Miriam was turning her head towards him for help, "Bianca got a nice scratch tonight from all this and my hand hurts. I might even be too tired to write any of this down tonight and you know what that means."

Miriam sighed and allowed Isabela to lead her to the Hanged Man. Isabela and Varric talked and joked and talked some more the entire way from the docks to Lowtown, no amount of bait or cajoling coaxed anything out of Miriam. They shared that glance again, this time with far more concern than exhaustion. In truth, Miriam didn't even hear them, all she could think about was how perfect everything had been, how right it had felt when… and then his absence, his words. She supposed she was lucky he left when he did, if he had stayed just another hour, the gangs would have retreated in the wake of the sun that just started to lighten the sky. Isabela gently but firmly shoved her through the door of the Hanged Man and order two drinks before asking her if she wanted anything and then adding a third, despite Miriam's clearly stated no.

Miriam sat down at Isabela's usual table, Varric disappeared into his suite to carefully put Bianca away, and Isabela dropped onto her seat on the other side. "One game, three drinks, and then I go home, Isabela. It's late", Miriam made her terms clear.

"Early actually. I'm certain there's someone somewhere who needs rescuing as well, so we'll just relax here a moment before the next disaster strikes", Isabela winked at her, pushed a filled jug towards her and finished the other one in one long gulp. One empty cup and two full drinks, Miriam shook her head and then eyed the cards Isabela dealt out with wary resignation. She was probably the worst diamondback player in history, she could never remember what she was supposed to do, when she was supposed to do it, and bluffed about as well as a drunk refuge. One part of which she was, actually. Until tonight, Isabela had refused to play with her anymore because she was so pathetically easy and made the game boring.

"Okay. Here's the rules. Every time I win, you tell a little bit about what the hell really happened tonight", Isabela declared as she finished dealing and shifted the cards in her hand.

"Isabela", Miriam put the cards she had picked up back down and started to shake her head. It was too raw, hurt too much to give her any desire to talk about it.

"Fine. Every time you win then?" Isabela's voice had that cajoling honeyed tone to it. The one that had already sent Miriam on one wild goose chase after another and even had her stick her hand into a spider's nest, a very poisonous spider's nest. She could remember that time, 'but with your healing, it won't be a problem'; she had spent a week alternatively cold and then festering hot, starving and emptying her stomach. How was it that stupid tone still worked?

"Let's just get this over with", Miriam agreed without any enthusiasm and picked up her cards with a grimace.

Several hours and many drinks later, Miriam finally caved and spilled the details to an eager audience, namely Isabela and Varric. Isabela made her go into so many details that, even drunk, she found herself stumbling over words and the heat in her face wasn't just from the drink but from trying to answer Isabela's question. Varric interrupted when he realize Isabela was just going to keep going until Miriam passed out and leave him with attempting to figure out what went so wrong between all of that and hunting down gangs. So Miriam finally spilled her dirty secret, that he left her and she threw her head into Varric's lap as she bemoaned how horrible it must have been, how much he had discovered he didn't want her at all.

"There, there", Varric mumbled as he stroked her back like he would a little kid. Isabela rolled her eyes and threw herself back to sit fully in the chair from the enraptured elbows on knees position she had been in and shook her head, "You aren't serious?"

Miriam glared up at her from Varric's lap, "Of course I'm serious. He left me, Isabela. He had me, all of me and I was still there for him and he just…" She hiccupped.

"Of course he left you. He's completely in love with you, why would he stay?" Isabela shook her head and looked at her as if she was the one not making sense.

"He's not…", she was forced to sit up straight again, to look at Isabela, as much eye to eye as possible, "That makes absolutely no sense!"

"That's only because you're you. If you were more like myself or Fenris, you would understand", Isabela gave a put out sigh and started to explain, "Sex is, or can be, amazing, but it's just sex. Feelings are a whole other matter…and feelings of want and need and love, don't even get me started. I would have left you too."

"Because you loved me?" Miriam asked slowly, suddenly wishing her head didn't feel so fuzzy so she could understand this insanity.

"Exactly. Not that I would make such a stupid decision as to fall in love with you, but there it is", Isabela gave her a victorious smile.

"I don't understand", Miriam stated after a long moment of silence. Unfortunately, a newcomer had grabbed Isabela's attention and she slipped away from the table without listening to the declaration.

"And you never will, all you have to understand is that his leaving doesn't mean what you think. In fact, it means just the opposite", Varric answered her unspoken question and rubbed her cheek with two fingers. "And I hope you're ready because here he comes."

Miriam tensed at Varric's words. Varric patted her cheek and gave her a reassuring look, and because Varric was there, she could; she was talking as she turned to face him, "You are…" Fenris looked exactly the same as he had the day he walked down those steps, except those wide green eyes. It wasn't the usual anger that filled their depths, anger was there, but sadness seemed to leach out at her and stopped her name calling before it even started. In her current state, though, that only meant that the other thought that had entered her head fell out of her mouth without warning, "Still exceedingly handsome."

"You're drunk", Fenris arched an eyebrow and cast an accusatory gaze at Varric who shrugged nonchalantly. Fenris moved to take her arm as he shook his head, "Let's get you home to sleep this off."

"It's a bright shiny morning. It's not time for sleeping. Besides, who says I don't have some Champion thing today, huh?" Miriam easily side stepped his attempt to take her arm and shook her head, "No, you don't get to tell me what to do."

Fenris let out a sigh and turned his attention to Varric, "Does she have a prior engagement this morning?"

"I don't have any engagement. Aveline has an engagement, sure but me…", Miriam mumbled nearly incoherently as Varric shook his head in answer to Fenris's question. Fenris didn't attempt to hide his look of relief, she grabbed her tankard and Fenris pulled it out of her hand just as she had it raised to her lips. "Hey, give that back or I'll…I'll…", she stared at him blankly and that slight curl of his lips caused her to lose the train of thought completely.

"Tickle him?" Varric offered with his own smile.

"Yeah!" Miriam shouted and then realized what Varric said and looked confused, "I'll…tickle you…until…you…cry?"

"Right. Coffee or sleep, take your pick", Fenris stated calmly. Miriam huffed, went to grab her drink out of his hands, and fell into him instead. There was a new look in his eyes now, the same one that had been in them when she found him waiting in the foyer. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to drag him back home and make him stay this time. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and demand he love her the way she loved him. She wanted to know why he didn't already, what was wrong with her?

Isabela yanked her out of Fenris's arms and tsked at him, "Come on, elf, give the girl a break. This is the only time, I repeat ONLY, that I've even seen our cute little Hawke all tipsy. She's adorable." Isabela pinched her cheek as she finished. Miriam blushed and swatted her hand away but stayed where Isabela held her, pressed against the pirate.

"Isabela. I should have known you would be responsible for this", Fenris's earlier accusatory glare was back and fixed on Isabela.

Isabela smiled sweetly back at him, "Oh no, sweetie, I'm entirely certain you're responsible for this and for Bianca's scratch from the killing spree we went on last night."

"Killing spree?" Anders walked up behind Fenris, but made a wide arc so he was standing next to Varric by the time he reached them; they instantly glared at each other.

"That felt so good", Miriam interjected, "It's too bad they didn't put up more of a fight. I wasn't ready for that to end."

"Hawke?" Anders set a look of confused concern on her face and then glanced at the gathered group.

The sadness Miriam had seen in Fenris's eyes seemed to swallow him whole now, he paled and glanced at Isabela and Varric, whose silence was enough to tell him what he didn't want to know. She could see it clearly as he looked at her and then her body rebelled.

Or at least that's what it felt like, she clutched her stomach as a wave of nausea hit her hard, her head began to pound so much it made her eyes water, and her mouth felt like a desert. She would have fallen if Isabela hadn't been holding her already. "I don't feel good", she moaned to no one in particular. Isabela slowly lowered her into the chair she had vacated.

Fenris and Anders nearly smacked into each other as they rushed towards her, Fenris fixed his usual glare on Anders and shove him away. "She's hung over, not sick. She doesn't need you, mage. I caused this, I'll handle it."

"You caused this?" Anders' eyes widened in shock at the admission even Fenris didn't seem to realize until it was out of his mouth. Anders was right back in the spot he had been in when Fenris pushed him, "Not a chance, elf. You did enough damage. I'll take care of her since I actually care enough to not cause her to drink herself sick."

"You have no idea what you're talking about", Fenris growled as he shoved Anders again, but this time Anders was ready for it. Anders staff made a loud snap as it connected with Fenris's hands. Fenris started to glow that telltale bluish light and an answering bluish light sparked in Ander's eyes.

"STOP! By the maker, just stop!", Miriam shouted and both men stopped, the lights faded instantly as they looked at her. "Please stop", she mumbled as she dropped her head in Varric's lap, crying in earnest as if the entire nights' events were hitting her at the same time.

"I think you've both done enough, why don't you just go? We'll take care of her, won't we, Riviani?" Varric rubbed Miriam's back as he had done earlier that night and shook his head at Fenris and Anders.

Miriam was so lost in the overwhelming sadness brought on by watching the two of them ready to tear each other apart, the pain her body was in, and the one night stand she had unwittingly participated in, that she was barely aware of Isabela taking her by the arm and gently leading her into Varric's suite. By the time she was more aware, her body had already emptied itself of the vile stuff she had drank all night, and she wasn't feeling any better. Varric was helping her lie back down on his huge bed and pressed a cold, wet cloth to her forehead. She put her own hands up to hold it in place; sleepy, she was so sleepy, "Varric?"

"Yes Hawke?" Varric's face appeared in front of her blurry vision and he gave her a rueful smile, "Sorry, dear lady, I should have guessed that swallowing down tankard after tankard of what this place calls rum for your first ever night of drinking wasn't a good idea. I've got you, just go ahead and sleep."

"I love you", she blurted out with a small smile and didn't regret at all that it came out, even if it wasn't met to.

"Of course you do", Varric stated smoothly and gave a look of sympathy, "but you'll just have to move on and settle with someone less amazing and wonderful and downright beautiful than I am. It really is too bad you're not a dwarf, it could have been special."

She laughed and he relaxed, she shifted slightly so she could see him more clearly and realized it wasn't her position that was making him fuzzy. "You really are the best friend anyone could have."

"Say, Hawke, is there a reason for all these compliments? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Feel free to keep them coming, I can never hear enough about me", Varric blew on his nails and rubbed them on his coat as he spoke.

"Well, no actually I was just thinking them, but…", she answered with hesitation and then blurted out her request, "now that you mention it. Do you think you could keep this whole mess out of the story? It certainly doesn't fit, right? The great Champion of Kirkwall barely consciences in the back because of some rum, it would ruin all that effort you put into it."

"But, it does give you that frailty all you humans love to hear about. It's not a true hero if she doesn't fall once in a while, you know", Varric tapped his chin. She gave him her best puppy dog look and he rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Fine, fine. But you better give me something else then. You think I make this stuff up?"

"All the time", she answered and allowed herself to blink that turned out to be an instant fall into a deep dreamless sleep.