So I'm hoping people will help me continue this story with suggestions, but it is about all that Bella should have said and fought for Edward to see himself. I apologies for my grammar and lack of decent editing. My first question is, how does Edward react to what Bella says?
"Wait!" She reached for me, but I couldn't fight her off much longer, nor could I bare fleeing from her grasp. I caught her quickly as I pressed one last kiss to her forehead, one last inhale of her delicate aroma.
Then I was about to flee, "Edward, god dammit, if you've ever cared listen to me for one second." I knew I needed to go, before I no longer had the strength, but how could I deny her when she put it like that? It'd be better if I just went, but I couldn't. I was surprised she'd cursed or even said such a thing. I refocused on her. To my surprise a flash of determination crossed the beautiful brown galaxies of her eyes, just as I thought she'd already faded from me, just before I could go. Of coarse it would.
"If your really going, theirs just so much I have to say, so much I haven't said because I was selfish, always insisting I had more time and you always seemed so happy." she sighed. My heart ached at her words and called back, of coarse I was so happy with you, and it surprised me she'd ever call herself selfish, she truly didn't see herself right, but what could she possibly have held back that's so integral now?
"I know you have a soul Edward," She'd stated that before. I waited a silent moment seeing the intensity in her eyes. "You are a person because people have personalities and your not just a cold, hard, and handsome shell, that's why I love you. I love you because you are someone and an outstanding someone. To me, no one could ever be better than you already are and you still have so much potential Edward! People also have souls and if a soul is just a ticket to heaven than whats it really worth? A soul should be a persons personality, history, morals, and talents-everything that makes them themselves. All a ticket to heaven is worth is nothing to the living. What if theirs nothing after this life? then we only have now. And what if their is something, but only for those who have a ticket? Then those who fall into the nothingness have nothing to complain about unlike the existing and it'd all be so corrupt. Meaning still, now is all that matters. Besides who's to say the universe is right or karma exist? what if good people don't make it, Edward? What then is a soul worth if it isn't about the person? What if you, my mom, Carlisle, or Esme don't make it? What if I don't? What then Edward is a soul worth if not the person and what is that person worth if not for the intent of them to be good prevailing? We are all initially selfish beings Edward, in any form. You crave blood, me and other humans crave food-so much so that when starved human kind has a fine history of resorting to cannibalism! Do you think I blame them whether I agree or not? Do you think I blame you, or Jasper, or any vampire who drinks blood? I honestly don't. To rise above are most selfish and disgusting desires is what makes us good, even just the desire to. You think I'm so selfless, well how naive is that considering I only act in the favor of others because I care so much for them it would harm me more than death to see them in pain or dead themselves! Tell me that's in no way sinful or selfish Edward? Can you honestly say your desire to protect me isn't because losing me would hurt you so terribly? And despite that, I'm selfish enough to disregard my own knowledge and act on instinct to protect you therefore protect me even though you'd be the one to suffer most? We are all selfish even if that's a terrible truth, so don't you dare tell me your selfish-I already know and you just have to accept it and try to be as good as you can be! As good as I know you to be! The worlds not perfect, nor are the circumstances while living! All, but those few dark cards and then again, maybe even those are innocent at the core. We each can only go off what we feel and experience.
You know hunger, you know love, and you act on that knowledge. I wouldn't be alive if you didn't, but if all you ever had was hunger, I'd be dead. Like if Alice didn't have her visions she'd be disastrous. Or Jasper before he knew their was another way. So you've killed humans before! So you were one long ago! You awoke and what you had was a blur, pain, hunger, fear, and distress-then Carlisle. No one could justly blame you for acting on your nature, but for you to automatically go against it-your such an amazing person, even as a killer. Your conscious makes you beautiful, but it's time to let go, let go of the guilt, and be beyond beautiful, Edward. I know you can, you just have to accept reality, nature, life, who you are-your soul, Edward! Just accept your soul."
To think, that's what she was holding back; never before had I heard Bella speak so many words.