This is for someone that means a lot to me. Enjoy.
Broken.
Angry.
He sat on the steps with his head cradled in his hands. The different thoughts in his mind fought for dominance. He doesn't see his own worth. Doesn't see how much he means to the people in his life.
Everything he's pushed to the side, fought to conceal has fought its way to the surface.
Confusion.
He doesn't know how to muddle through the conflictions of his heart and mind. He's on a loop going through his day by muscle memory only.
Sadness.
Despair fills him, he's living and breathing it. It's choking him.
He only lifts his head when he hears the ding of a text message. He digs into his pants pocket and pulls it out. He looks at the name and a small smile tugs up the corner of his lips. For a singular moment everything disappears. His mind conjures up an image of Beth. Long blonde curls cascading around her shoulders, petite body and the smile that outshines the sun.
Morning baby, how did you sleep?
Eh, He texts back.
You okay?"
No…
Talk to me. What's on your mind?
His fingers hovered over the touch screen. He typed and erased over and over. Everything I touch will slowly turn to stone. He finally pressed send.
Daryl…what do you mean? She texted back. Seconds later another text came through. Do you want me to come over?
If you want…
Be there soon.
He set his phone down on the railing and his thoughts pulled him back.
Loneliness.
Self loathing.
Who has he become? What happened to his life? Everything fell apart. How can he start over all over again? Dating, learning to live, learning to fall in love, be a single parent again. How, after everything that's happened, is he to learn to trust again? How does he let her in? His fingers sought out the pack of smokes he keeps in his left pants pocket. His hand began to shake as he pulls out a cigarette and put it to his lips. He nearly drops the lighter.
As he's finishing up the smoke her car pulls into his driveway. She turns it off and walks up to him. She smiles at him shyly, like they're just meeting for the first time. He closes the distance between them and pulls her tightly against him. She nuzzles into him. He sighs and presses a kiss to the top of her head before he takes a step back from the warmth of her arms. She's watching him, looking deep into his eyes, like she's reading every thought and feeling he's ever had.
He tossed the cigarette into the yard and turned, opening the door and holding it open for her. He followed her in and led the way to his bedroom. She takes a seat on his bed. As he moves to lean against a wall across the room, she reaches out and grabs his hand. He pauses, frozen for a moment. She gives a gentle tug on his hand and he follows her silent direction to sit on the bed across from her. He ducks his head, avoiding her gaze.
"Daryl," She says his name. "Babe,"
He looks up and hesitantly meets her gaze.
"I need you to understand that I am here for you, no matter what. When I said that I'm in this forever and always, I'm not running, I meant it. I will stand by you as long as you will let me."
He looks down again, looks at her hand holding his. "I can't…I can't let you in…I keep tryin', but it isn't fair to you that I'm feeling the ways I do about that break up and everything that's happening. You shouldn't have to deal with my issues from past relationships."
"We both have baggage. We both just lost the people we loved who we thought loved us. It's not easy to trust after that, it's not something either of us can just get over, overnight. It's going to take time for both of us to heal fully from it."
He doesn't speak but he lifts his head up enough to look into her blue eyes.
"When everything in my life fell apart, I never thought I would be okay again. I never in a million years would have guessed that someone could make me feel the way that you make me feel. Every time you smile at me, I feel my heart start skipping around, and butterflies start flying around in my tummy. When I think of you, I get this big ole grin on my face that makes me look like Dopey. I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in our lives, that I can be here with you. The future the four of us has together looks amazing to me."
She scoots closer to him on the bed, close enough that their knees are touching. He leans down and kisses her, a million words that he couldn't ever find. Their foreheads stay touching. She turns her head slightly to kiss his cheek.
His heart is in his throat. How can he possibly tell her everything in his heart and mind?
A soft smile from her lights up the room. "I was just someone's 'baby girl' and someone's second thought. I kept choosing Dollar Store boys. Then you came into my life and I finally found my Nordstrom's."
Relief.
Bliss.
Finally, he lets himself hear the words she just spoke. He reads between the lines.
Love.
The Lines-Beartooth
Wait For You- Elliot Yamin
Something New- Set It Off
Me W/O Us- Set It Off
Crutch- Set It Off
Life Afraid- Set It Off