p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"In the fall when I was seventeen my brother figured out I was depressed. Well, he thinks I'm depressed. He said it was because I'm either always home, or always out, I spend too much time sitting on the couch, read the same horror stories over and over again, ate way too often, and think about /br /When you read about cancer and all that they always list depression as a side effect. But it's not depression that's a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying. (Well, life in general is a side effect of dying.) But Sammy kept telling me that I need help, so he called my doctor. ("If a fourteen year old does this so can you!" he shouted) Doc Singer said that I was practically drowning in a pool of depression, so my meds needed to be adjusted, and that I had to show up at some lame weekly support /br /The Support Group had people rolling in and out in a bunch if states of cancer. Why did the group always have different people? Well, it's a side effect of /br /And of course, The Support Group was depressing as /br /Everyone met on Thursdays in the cellar of a church that was shaped like a cross. We all sat in a circle in the middle of the cross, pretty much where the heart of Jesus /br /The only reason I paid attention enough to know this is because Ellen, the Support Group Leader, and the only adult in the room, talked about it every time. Ellen always went on about how all of us are so strong, and brave and us as cancer survivors are sitting in the oh-so-special heart of /br /So here's what goes down every Thursday night: the eight to twelve of us walked (or wheeled) in, avoided the various amounts of bakery, (Everyone knows Ellen's daughter Jo can't cook.) took some lemonade, and sat down in a circle listening to Ellen go on again about her life story. She had breast cancer, and they thought she only had days, but she lived, and now she's here in a church basement in the 666th nicest city in the U.S, her husband died, she's married to her job, and she raises Jo. (Who, by the way, has a big fat crush on me.) br /br /Then we introduce ourselves: Name, age, diagnosis, how we're doing all that crap. I'd say I'm Dean, and that I'm seventeen. I'd say that I originally had thyroid but now there is fluid deciding just do get all cozy in my lungs. And I'm doing /br /Once we finally got around the circle Ellen asked if anyone wanted to share. And the group finally became an actual support group. Everyone started talking about battling and fighting back and almost losing and kicking cancer right in the ass. But to be fair to Ellen, she let us talk about death, too. Of course, most of them weren't staring Death in the face. br /br /The only good thing about the Support Group was this girl named Charlie; she's a nerdy redhead with an eye patch who loves to play /br /And she only had one eye. She lost her left eye due to cancer, and she didn't want a creepy glass eye (There's this chick, Pam with glass eyes) so she went with the eye patch instead. But, from what I could gather in the very few times she ever shared is that her right eye in in mortal danger (her words not mine) and they're gonna chop it off too (also her words.). br /br /Charlie and I spoke only through grunts, sighs, and eye rolls. Whenever someone brought up anticancer food or talking about taking some strange shit, she'd glance over at me and sigh. I'd shake my /br /So the Support Group sucked, and after a couple weeks I got sick of it. In fact, on the Thursday I almost didn't go, I met Castiel Novak. I tried as hard as I could to get out of the Support Group, but Sam wouldn't /br /I had been watching a Doctor Sexy M.D marathon of all the previous seasons when Sam came up to /Me: "I'm not going, Sammy."br /Sam: "I told you not to call me Sammy, and yes you are."br /Me: "C'mon, just let me watch Dr. Sexy."br /Sam: "No."br /Me: "Why."br /Sam: "Because, Dean! You're seventeen! Normal kids are supposed to be out doing stuff! You need some friends."br /Me: "If you want me to be a normal teenager go get me some beer." br /Sam: "Dean. You're going."br /Me: "Ugh."br /Sam: "You deserve a life, Dean."br /br /That got me quiet. Despite not being able to breathe my whole life, I've always taken care of Sammy when Dad was too lazy to. I went because it was what Sam wanted. There's only one thing worse than having cancer at seventeen. It's having a brother who has /br /Dad let me have the Impala since I can't do anything but drive. But, John of course, drove me because he does't trust me to go myself. We pulled infront of the old rusty church about six minutes /br /"I've got it, Dad," I grumbled. I grabbed my oxygen tank and head out the passenger door. The tank was dark green and weighed about a pound. It held about 2 liters of oxygen, and there was a clear tube connected to it that wrapped around my ears and let oxygen flow into my nose. It's pretty much mandatory because me lungs are shitty /br /I walked away from the car without saying a word. br /br /I didn't take the elevator because that's more of a 'I'm gonna die soon so why the hell not' thing, so I took the stairs. I poured some lemonade into a tiny paper cup and then turned /br /There was a boy staring at /br /I'm pretty sure I've never seen him before. He was a little bit shorter than me, but only by an inch, and he was kinda skinny, but sort of muscular. Raven colored hair, and bright blue eyes. He looked my age, and he sat upright in his chair looking /br /I turned looked away, becoming slightly self-conscious. The guy looked like he could stare into your soul. I glanced down at what I was wearing. I had a pair of old, wrinkly, jeans, a plaid shirt and an AC/DC shirt. But despite all of this I looked over again and he was still looking at /br /I suddenly realized why it's called eye /br /I walked into the circle and sat down next to Charlie, one seats away from him. The only thing between us was Charlie. I looked over again. He was still /br /Alright, let me say it. I'm not gay. I'm in fact bi, except I usually go after girls. Or went. But this guy was hot. When a not hot guy is staring at you it's pretty awkward. But if it's a hot guy... /br /I grabbed my phone and checked the time: 4:59. The circle of us were pretty much twelve to eighteen year olds with cancer. Ellen started with a prayer. I didn't really pay attention though. I don't believe in God, because even if he was real, why hasn't he done anything? br /br /The guy was still staring, and I felt my face start to heat up. I decided the best strategy was to stare back. So I stared at him as Ellen told her story of having breast cancer, and running this bar that I can't even go to. After a while Charlie piped /br /"Can you two stop having eyes sex?" she muttered. I darted my eyes away, and I'm guessing blue-eyes over there did /br /Ellen continued and them we got to the introductions. "Charlie. Would you like to go first? I know you're going through a hard time, maybe talkin about it'll help."br /br /"Oh," Charlie said, shocked. "Sure. I'm Charlie. I'm sixteen. And I'm getting surgery soon so I'm going to be blind. I'm not complaining though, I know most of us got it worse, but yea, being blind sucks. My girlfriend helps, though. And so do friends like Castiel." She jerked her thumb to the guy who now had a name. "But, yea. Can't do anything about it." She /"We're here for you, Charlie," Ellen said. "Let her hear it, guys." We all mumbled, "We're here for you, /br /Alfie was next, he was twelve with leukemia. He was okay. Supposedly, he took the elevator. br /br /Bela was sixteen, practically on death's doorstep, but she acted fine. She's a regular because her grandparents make her /br /There were a couple others before Ellen got to him. The side of his lip curled just slightly. He had a low, gravelly voice, and it was damn sexy. "My name is Castiel Novak," he spoke. "I am seventeen, and I had osteosarcoma eighteen months ago, but I am here on Charlie's account."br /br /"And how are you feeling?" asked /br /"On top of the world," Castiel Novak smiled where only the corner of his lip /br /When it was my turn, I said, "Name's Dean. I'm seventeen. Thyroid with mets in my lungs. And I'm okay."br /br /The hour went on as it usually did, with good victories, some pretty stupid ones, some people cried, and comfort was given. Castiel Novak nor I spoke until Ellen asked Castiel what his fears /br /"Fears?"br /"Yes, Castiel."br /"Oblivion," he said automatically. That gravelly voice gave me a shiver down my /"I fear it as if I were about to go blind and afraid if the dark."br /"Aw, c'mon, Cas," Charlie elbowed him. He rubbed his arm and /"Sorry, I suppose I'm blind to other people's feelings."br /Charlie laughed, and Castiel realized what he had just said. He laughed at his own joke and it sounded like puppy-dogs and /"Let's return to your struggles, Castiel," Ellen sighed. "You fear oblivion?" br /"I did."br /Ellen looked puzzled. "Would anyone like to speak to that?"br /br /I haven't been to a normal school in years, my brother is my best friend, and an author who doesn't know I exist, I'm a sarcastic ass, and absolutely not the kind of guy who raises their hand. But I /br /Just this once I decided to say something. I raised my hand half way and Ellen, to her delight, called on me. "Dean!" She probably thought I was opening up, being part of the /br /I looked over at Castiel Novak, who looked right back at me. His eyes were so vivid and clear it could make you lose your thoughts. But I didn't. I took a deep breath, "Cas, if I can call you that," blue eyes nodded, "There's gonna be a day where all of us are dead. There's going to be no one here, not a single living, breathing, thing. There won't be anyone to remember the famous guys who get paidd for who knows what, let alone you, me or anyone in this room. And this whole room, /this whole building/ will be insignificant. Maybe we're all gonna die tomorrow, or hey, maybe we'll be dead before that. So if oblivion freaks you out, man, I suggest you just ignore it. That's what everyone else does."br /br /After I finished the whole room was quiet. I watched a smile spread across Cas's face. Not just a smirk, but a big toothy grin. And if that doesn't look like unicorns and sunshine I don't know what does. "You have quite profound words, Dean," Cas said /br /Cas and I didn't speak the rest of the time. In the end, we all held hands and Ellen led us in a prayer. We prayed for Charlie, Alfie, Bela, Castiel, and me, and everyone else in the room. Then we prayed for everyone who passed away, like Ruby, Lily, Alistair, Gavin, Ash, and Meg. br /br /The list was endless, the world has a lot of dead people. I closed my eyes and wondered about the day my name appears on that list. At the end, where no one is /br /When Ellen finally finished we said this stupid phrase at the end like we always have to, and it was over. Castiel Novak got out of his seat and walked towards me. He was an inch or two shorter than me, so it was easy to look at his eyes more closely. "What's your name?" he /"Dean."br /"Your full name, Dean."br /"Dean Winchester." He opened his mouth to say something, but Charlie walked around. "One moment, Dean Winchester," and he spun around. He turned to Charlie, "There was terrible."br /"I told you it was bad."br /"Why do you come?"br /"I don't know. It just, sorta helps I guess."br /Cas leaned in and asked something quiet enough so I couldn't hear. Castiel turned back towards me, expecting Charlie to say something. But she didn't, she just kinda stood there and said, "Well, I should get going. Gilda is probably waiting for me."br /"Are we playing that.. game tomorrow?"br /"It's Counterinsurgence, Cas. And yes," Charlie said. She spun around and her hair almost whipped Castiel in the face. Then she ran off up the /br /"So this is /literally/ the heart of Jesus?" he /"Yep."br /"Someone should tell him. I do not think that it is wise that there are children with multiple types of cancer in his heart." I don't think Castiel meant to make a joke, but I laughed /"Well, it's too bad we can't tell him because we aren't in his ears." He looked at me and turned his head to the side like a /"What?" I /"Nothing," he said, still /"Why are you looking at me... Like that?" I gestured to /"Because you're beautiful, Dean Winchester," he /"Cas, it's not cool to call a guy beautiful."br /"It is acceptable. Calling a man cute implies he has feminine features, hot and sexy imply sexual desire, and gorgeous is a hollow compliment," he explained. Honestly, this guy was 100% correct. But I couldn't let him /"What about attractive?" I tested./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""The word attractive could hardly describe your physical qualities," Castiel said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I'm not beatif-"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""You look like Jensen Ackles, but younger. Like in that Batman movie Charlie likes."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Never seen it," I told him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I hardly paid attention when she brought it over. You should see it. If Charlie likes it so much you might too," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Okay, I'll ask my brother to find it," I smiled./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""No, I mean now," he said. "Charlie didn't take it with her, so I still have it."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I stopped, "I hardly know you, Castiel Novak. You could be a demon that wants to kill me."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""That is understandable, Dean. But I assure you I am no demon."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Castiel walked off with a slight limp in one leg. It's a prosthetic. I was sure of it. He walked up the stairs, his weight relying more on his left leg. Osteosarcoma takes a limb a lot of the time, and if you're unlucky enough it takes all of you./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I followed him up the stairs, slowly, considering that I hate the stairs./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"We were out of 'The Heart of Jesus' and finally on the sidewalk. It was nice outside, I guess. Cas turned his head up and watched a bee fly away./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Dad wasn't there yet, which was obvious. I glanced around because I heard some strange noise coming from somewhere. And it was Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda. It sounded like they were sucking each other's faces off. Honestly, I like the idea of kissing someone like there's no tomorrow, but that is span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"not/span the way to do it./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Why do they keep saying always?" I asked Cas./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I believe it is them showing each other that they will always love each other. That or it is a 'Harry Potter Thing,'" Cas used air quotes. "I believe that they have said it to each other approximately 309 times via text message."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"A couple more cars rolled by taking a few other kids who were waiting. So it was just me and Castiel. And we were still watching Charlie and Gilda swallow each other. And as if this wasn't even a church or some other holy place, Charlie grabbed Gilda's boob. She grabbed it normally first, then trailed her fingers elsewhere. I figured I should just be cool with it considering Charlie's going blind soon./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Imagine driving to the hospital. The last time you will drive a car, or anything that involves span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"seeing/span what you must do," I said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""It looks like Charlie is hurting her breast. What is so arousing about grabbing a chest?" Castiel looked over at me. He is so definitely gay. Not that I'm complaining, of course./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I don't know, I guess they just are," I said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""It appears as if she is trying to form a breast examination."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Yea, that's not how you do it," I said. Cas looked at me with those blue eyes and a cocked head./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Are you…" he obviously wasn't sure if I was into him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Bi, Cas. I'm bi," I sighed. Why the hell is sexuality such a big deal?/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Ah," he said, and got that Mona Lisa smirk back./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and put it in between his lips. Unlit, dangling from the side of his mouth that was at ease./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Are you span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"kidding me, /spanCastiel?" I asked. "You just ruined this whole thing, Cas." I crossed my arms and turned away from him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""What... Whole thing?" he asked. I heard the smile in his tone, and I wasn't sure if you was mocking me, or knew something I didn't./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""The whole, this guy isn't unattractive, has a big vocabulary, stares at me for an hour, and compares me to an actor in Batman, and seriously! YOU AREADY HAD CANCER, and know you are paying people FOR MORE CANCER? Seriously! This is really disappointing."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I felt slightly pissed and disappointed because this guy could have been pretty cool./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Dean Winchester, they do nothing until they are lit," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""What?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""This unlit cigarette," he pulled it from his pink lips, "is a metaphor. You put something that can kill you between your lips, but you never actually let it kill you."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""So… How you act, is based off of metaphors and symbolism?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Mostly," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Sam./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Record the next episodes of Dr. Sexy. All of them Samuel. I'm watching a movie with Castiel Novak. Tell dad not to bother picking me up. –DW/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Apparently I was mumbling my words as I typed, because Castiel asked "Doctor Sexy M.D, huh?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Oh shut up," I grinned./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""The word attractive could hardly describe your physical qualities," Castiel said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I'm not beatif-"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""You look like Jensen Ackles, but younger. Like in that Batman movie Charlie likes."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Never seen it," I told him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I hardly paid attention when she brought it over. You should see it. If Charlie likes it so much you might too," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Okay, I'll ask my brother to find it," I smiled./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""No, I mean now," he said. "Charlie didn't take it with her, so I still have it."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I stopped, "I hardly know you, Castiel Novak. You could be a demon that wants to kill me."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""That is understandable, Dean. But I assure you I am no demon."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Castiel walked off with a slight limp in one leg. It's a prosthetic. I was sure of it. He walked up the stairs, his weight relying more on his left leg. Osteosarcoma takes a limb a lot of the time, and if you're unlucky enough it takes all of you./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I followed him up the stairs, slowly, considering that I hate the stairs./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"We were out of 'The Heart of Jesus' and finally on the sidewalk. It was nice outside, I guess. Cas turned his head up and watched a bee fly away./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Dad wasn't there yet, which was obvious. I glanced around because I heard some strange noise coming from somewhere. And it was Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda. It sounded like they were sucking each other's faces off. Honestly, I like the idea of kissing someone like there's no tomorrow, but that is span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"not/span the way to do it./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Why do they keep saying always?" I asked Cas./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I believe it is them showing each other that they will always love each other. That or it is a 'Harry Potter Thing,'" Cas used air quotes. "I believe that they have said it to each other approximately 309 times via text message."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"A couple more cars rolled by taking a few other kids who were waiting. So it was just me and Castiel. And we were still watching Charlie and Gilda swallow each other. And as if this wasn't even a church or some other holy place, Charlie grabbed Gilda's boob. She grabbed it normally first, then trailed her fingers elsewhere. I figured I should just be cool with it considering Charlie's going blind soon./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Imagine driving to the hospital. The last time you will drive a car, or anything that involves span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"seeing/span what you must do," I said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""It looks like Charlie is hurting her breast. What is so arousing about grabbing a chest?" Castiel looked over at me. He is so definitely gay. Not that I'm complaining, of course./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""I don't know, I guess they just are," I said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""It appears as if she is trying to form a breast examination."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Yea, that's not how you do it," I said. Cas looked at me with those blue eyes and a cocked head./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Are you…" he obviously wasn't sure if I was into him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Bi, Cas. I'm bi," I sighed. Why the hell is sexuality such a big deal?/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Ah," he said, and got that Mona Lisa smirk back./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and put it in between his lips. Unlit, dangling from the side of his mouth that was at ease./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Are you span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"kidding me, /spanCastiel?" I asked. "You just ruined this whole thing, Cas." I crossed my arms and turned away from him./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""What... Whole thing?" he asked. I heard the smile in his tone, and I wasn't sure if you was mocking me, or knew something I didn't./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""The whole, this guy isn't unattractive, has a big vocabulary, stares at me for an hour, and compares me to an actor in Batman, and seriously! YOU AREADY HAD CANCER, and know you are paying people FOR MORE CANCER? Seriously! This is really disappointing."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I felt slightly pissed and disappointed because this guy could have been pretty cool./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Dean Winchester, they do nothing until they are lit," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""What?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""This unlit cigarette," he pulled it from his pink lips, "is a metaphor. You put something that can kill you between your lips, but you never actually let it kill you."/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""So… How you act, is based off of metaphors and symbolism?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Mostly," he said./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Sam./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Record the next episodes of Dr. Sexy. All of them Samuel. I'm watching a movie with Castiel Novak. Tell dad not to bother picking me up. –DW/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"Apparently I was mumbling my words as I typed, because Castiel asked "Doctor Sexy M.D, huh?"/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.555556297302246px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;""Oh shut up," I grinned./p