Crazy Little Thing Called Love

AN: This was submitted for The Deadliest Sin's End of the World long fic competition (fall 2012). I decided to add/edit things before posting...then it got pushed aside til now. Hope you all enjoy. I'll be posting as I do final edits for the next couple days-don't worry, it's fairly short, so you won't have to wait long for the end!

Part 1: Somebody to Love

Each morning I get up I die a little,

Can barely stand on my feet.

Take a look in the mirror and I cry,

"Lord, what you doing to me?"

I spent all my years believing in you,

But I just can't get no relief, Lord.

Somebody, somebody, can anybody find me

Somebody to love?

Kagome's first memory—first true memory, beyond flashes and shadows, like the briefest glance at an impressionist painting in progress—is a thrum, a gentle pulse that she felt reverberate throughout her entire body. She remembered running, excitedly but unsteadily, the gait of a child who just recently found her footing, using momentum more than anything else to move herself along, not hoping she wouldn't fall because the thought would never have occurred to her. She ran to the big tree, the Goshinboku, which had always fascinated her, its trunk so much larger than any others she had seen, and the papers tied to its branches adding a strange note to the wind. She ran to the Goshinboku and made a quick bow—her mother had always told her to be respectful of the tree, treat it as an elder who wasn't her grandfather. Then, with her back to the massive trunk and body wedged between two roots breaking through the surrounding pavement, was quickly lulled asleep by the gentle rustling.

She opened her eyes to a clearing, one which had not been there before, she was sure: for all that she was only six, she had lived at her family's shrine for all of those six years, and she knew it and the surrounding area well enough to know she had never seen this place, not even in all her dreams before. Where there had once been the shrine complex, built up around the Goshinboku, there were no buildings here, no shed housing the dried up well, no stand to sell gifts. There was only the grass and the wind, and the line of trees beyond, surrounding the ancient tree, as if it were holding court. When she tried to see beyond the tree line, she found it to be impossible.

And then there was movement. From all around her, figures emerged, adorned in white and red, slowly becoming more visible with each step, as if moving through a mist, women with such serious expressions she began to worry. Mother only had such an expression on her face when Kagome had done something wrong.

It was then that she felt movement behind her, against her, which struck her as odd because she was propped up against the Goshinboku, and she knew that trees didn't move. But when she looked up, it was not into the branches of the ancient tree, but into the grey eyes of an alien face. It was a male face, and kind, she decided when his lips quirked in a soft smile, his eyes crinkling like her father's so often did. Calmer, she realized that she was no longer resting against the Goshinboku, but against his legs. And yet, from somewhere deep inside, she had a feeling they were one in the same.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw the line of women stop, except for one, the one directly in front of her, who continued to advance until she was barely a foot from Kagome. She looked just a little younger than Kagome's mother, but with much longer hair, kept under control with white ties. She kneeled, expression softening from stern to solemn.

"Hello there, child," she said, voice deep and quiet. "My name is Kikyou. What is your name?"

She gripped lightly at the hakama of the Goshinboku's human form and looked shyly at the woman before murmuring, "Kagome."

"Kagome," she answered, lips quirked in a smile, "What a nice name. Do you know why you're here, Kagome?"

She furrowed her brows and shook her head once in response.

"Goshinboku, one of the eldest of beings," she motioned behind her, "sent a summons for us all to meet you here, in its realm."

"What do you mean?"

"You are here, Kagome, because you have been blessed with a great power that you can use to help a lot of people."

"But I'm only four," she replied slowly. "How can I help?"

The woman smiled again, softly, and reached out to stroke one of Kagome's hands. "Child, have you ever heard the story of how the miko came to be?"

She shook her head in response. She had, of course, heard of miko—her family was in charge of a shrine, after all, and her grandfather was always rambling in the middle of one story or another—but she didn't think there was a special story to go with them. She tilted her head to the left, as she always did when her mother prepared to tell her a story. Kikyou, in turn, looked up and behind her.

The spirit of the Goshinboku nodded and knelt behind Kagome, pulling her into his embrace. "When the gods first created the earth," he began, his voice deep and calming, "the first creatures they created were the animals. But due to their simplicity, the gods, in their youth, soon became bored—and thus were born the first humans, and they watched with joy as their new creation became ever more creative. For a time, nothing changed that the humans did not change, and as their numbers grew, change occurred more frequently. But what the gods didn't expect was for the earth to be sentient. She, Mother, disturbed by the destruction being reaped upon her, created the race we now know as youkai in order to teach the humans moderation. For a time, they lived peacefully, but soon the humans grew resentful of the earth's caretakers and their restrictions and began to fight against them. The youkai fought back, but the longer they fought, the more they forgot their original purpose, causing just as much destruction as the humans." He stopped and this and looked toward Kikyou, who was shaking her head sadly at this, and Kagome could feel her frustration.

"The gods, unable to stand by and watch, made a pact with the earth for a barrier to be put in place to separate the two races, lest they destroy one another. As before the youkai, the humans again began to expand, increasing in number with each passing day and when the earth could no longer support them, they devised ways to force out more and more. They used their technology to take what they could of the earth until there was nothing left to take. The gods, seeing their children in trouble, hurt and starving, intervened once again: it was their powers that once created the earth, so it was their powers that could once again restore it. However, the gods could not leave their heavenly home without they themselves becoming mortal. Unable to decide who should pay such a price, they all paid an equal price: each god separated a small part of their soul to give to a human child of his or her choice, still within its mother." At this, she held a hand to her stomach, a slight gesture, as if she barely noticed she was doing it. "Human and heavenly souls bonded together from before birth, the children were thus able to adapt in some aspects to the influx of power."

"However, these children, these chosen few of the gods, paid a horrible price," Goshinboku continued with tense sadness. "Mother was ill, thirsty like a man without a drop of water in his veins, and these children, able to commune with Mother and all her children, heal her with their very souls, died young, unable to separate themselves from the constant energy drain."

"Except for one," Kikyou said, holding up a finger and beginning to show a hint of a smile once again. "Midoriko. You see, there was a barrier in place, true, but some youkai were still able to get through, and she fell in love with one, and he with her, and through their bond, and his connection to the earth, he was able to break the connection, keep her whole. She was the first, and greatest, of those who came to be known as miko. It was the two of them who sought out the leaders of their worlds to negotiate a deal, for the human world was broken and dying and the youkai world had been lifeless since the beginning, barely a shadow of the earth to which they longed to return. It was they who petitioned the gods to remove the barrier and they who set up the first Council. When she eventually died, of old age, her soul, the largest of all sent to earth, splintered to inhabit those throughout the world who call ourselves miko and houshi, and each of us is paired with a youkai who can balance us, and thereby continue to bring balance to the world. And every so often—once a generation—several souls will combine to become one, and this child is destined to become the High Miko. That title currently belongs to me. And you, Kagome," she said, leveling the girl with a serious, though kind, look, "are to be my successor."

Kagome opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her mother would only allow her to do the most basic of tasks in the kitchen, and she was to keep the world balanced?

Kikyou saw the despair on the girl's face and reached out to stroke loose strands of hair behind her ear, offering what comfort she could. "I know that this is too much to take in right now; I remember my first meeting with my mentor. You are young still, Kagome, I know you are not ready to take on the responsibility of the world. You need not worry about that for decades. But do you think you might like to train, to learn how to use your powers?"

"Yes!" Kagome exclaimed, relieved and also excited to learn something new. "I mean," she said, slowly now, "if Mama says it's okay."

"Well, we'll just have to ask her, won't we?" She cocked her head to the side then, as if hearing something for her ears only. "It's time for me to go, Kagome," she said as she stood from her kneeling position. Around her, the ring of miko were already fading away, having witnessed the heir accepting her duties. "I shall see you again soon." With a small bow, she began to walk away.

"Wait!" Kagome called out. "How do I get back home?"

"Goshinboku will help you with that," her voice said from the treeline. Then she was gone.

Kagome looked up at the Goshinboku man. Without a word, he encapsulated her in his arms. She breathed in his scent, of sweetness, and wood, and home.

And when she opened her eyes again, she was at the shrine, propped up against the Goshinboku as she had been when she dozed off.

Heavy breathing was all that punctuated the silence of the morning on the steps leading to the Higurashi Shrine.

"Kagome—"

"No, Sesshoumaru," she cut off the youkai decisively, meeting his amber eyes from her position on the 58th of 546 steps. "Kikyou needs to learn she can't just keep me trapped in the compound, letting me out only to view another batch of youkai suitors. I deserve to be able to visit my own family."

He smirked, setting off his angled features. "I was merely going to offer to carry you up part of the way. You have, after all," he said, eyes narrowing playfully, "been far more clumsy than usual lately."

She smiled in response to let him know she appreciated the effort, but they both knew that the words hid a painful truth.

A miko could be called back from a soul trance by only three things: her own willpower, her soul-bonded youkai, or a youkai whose youki surpassed the tenki of the miko. Sesshoumaru, despite her deep affection for him, was just another in a long line of youkai who was temporarily able to keep her on the mortal plane. Their bond wouldn't last for much longer, though, she knew. Like water behind a patchwork dam, she could feel her powers testing the limits of the bond, finding the cracks, and soon… Already she could feel her soul resist him every time she went into trance, not that she was often able to do so, given the cement compound and the small, tame garden she was given to keep herself centered.

She remembered a time when she was freely able to go into trance, to sit amongst the roots of the Goshinboku, forever her favorite companion amongst the Mother's brood, and could feel her soul pool out into the world, providing to flora and fauna alike the spiritual energy necessary to heal, to maintain the balance, and the feeling of her soul returning to her, feeling not quite drained but like a well-exercised muscle. That feeling, with her childhood and her good health, was long gone, trapped behind a wall of pride and regret…and not a little lost hope.

Sesshoumaru, knowing the thoughts behind the silence, sat down beside her. "Kagome, you do not have to wait."

"We've had this argument before, Sesshoumaru," she replied, face in her hands. "As have Kikyou and I, and Inuyasha and I, and every other youkai I've been paired with for the last five years." She turned to him, eyes burning with the same determination he had seen when he'd first met her, so many years ago.
"If I die, then so what, Kikyou and Inuyasha can continue to keep the balance, just wait a little longer until my soul—souls, whatever—are reborn. Maybe that soul will meet its mate and everything will be fine then."

"We both know it's not that simple. The longer Kikyou remains the central balance for the world, the more her power diminishes. Her bond with Inuyasha increases her time, her life, but we both know that they can't afford to wait much longer. You are her heir, Kagome, you need to bond. Soon."

"I've been looking," she said quietly, eyes downcast, "for all my life, you know that." Her posture changed. "But even if I could bring myself to force a bond—and you've seen what can happen with a forced bond—Even if I could, what youkai is powerful enough to subdue my tenki at this point? And don't you dare nominate yourself, Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru sighed inwardly, remaining stone-faced and logical on the outside, knowing very well his part in this argument. "I am the only youkai spiritually and physically powerful enough not yet mated—"

"Not yet mated, Sesshoumaru," she whispered. "I could never do that to you and Kagura."

He sighed. "You are far too honorable for your own good, Kagome."

"If I wasn't," she said, smiling at him, ending the familiar argument as they always did, "You never would have accepted Kikyou's proposal." And you and Kagura would have been mated eight months ago instead of buying me time.

He stood up then, holding out his hand for her. "We will find your mate, Kagome." He said it with such conviction that Kagome didn't have the heart to argue and instead put a smile on her face in the hope that the motion would bring herself some cheer, and took his hand.

Instead of bringing her to her feet, he instead pulled her into his arms and leapt up the stairs—but not all the way. He was a youkai of his word after all. It was one of the few stipulations she'd negotiated into their temporary bond.

Her family must never know she was dying.

As she walked up the last few steps, careful not to lose control of her feet, Sesshoumaru just behind her doing the same, she saw her mother in the kitchen window, heard the noise of Souta teasing their grandfather, and she let loose a genuine smile.