Oh my god yes the states, I always wanted to write with them! ^w^ Bwahahaha poor Alfy..
okay warnings: OC states, cussing and of course... A sad attempt at sports talk.
Hetalia is not mine and will NEVER be mine...
Alfred F Jones, the United States of America. The super power of the world, and the ONLY nation that could brag about how many kids he had. Fifty to be exact, and each one having a special place in his heart. Hell he loved them all more then anything else, even if they pissed him the fuck off at times.
And today was one of those days; it was Saturday morning which meant. He was SUPPOSED to be sleeping in, catching up on his alien induced video game dream. But that lovely idea of sleeping passed 6 in the morning was tossed out the window. One of Texas's Roosters had unleashed its fury the moment the sun peeked its head over the horizon. Groaning to himself he went just pulling a pillow over his head as he started counting down. Texas would be up first, followed by the Midwest teens. And that would wake up the west coast, who in retaliation would annoy the east coast into waking up.
And yup, there it was, the sound of a yeehaa that was deafening as he heard groans coming from around the house. Alfred wasn't usual one to wish ill on his kids, but he wished a pox on Texas to get a sore throat. Just leaning up as he rubbed his eyes slowly, he was so not ready for this. He had stayed up all night with California in a father to daughter super smash brother's brawl that would go down in history… And that was awesome, until she unleashed the hell that was Kirby.
His door suddenly kicked open as he held the blankets to his chest; oh fuck no… Trying to get out of bed quick enough, almost making it as something latched onto his exposed ankle. Nails digging into the sheets as he gave out a loud whimper, being pulled right off the bed.
"Texas! What did I tell you about lassoing me this early?!"
The Texan just looked over his broad shoulders as he grinned widely at the other and continued pulling. Dragging daddy down the hall and passed the others who didn't give it a second thought. "That I should only do it incase of emergencies and it is! New England's trying to cook!"
And yup, that was emergency enough. Alfred went tugging hard on the rope, causing it to snap out of Texas's hand as he pulled it free from his ankle. Rushing downstairs as he was already smelling something that was being burnt. New England no matter how hard he tried the boy had inherited England's cooking skills, and he had been banned from the kitchen. Louisiana would be throwing a fit that would unleash the states inner most French.
About ready to dive in and save the kitchen from his Childs wrath, he was too late. Louisiana was already there and was unleashing a hell storm of French. And New England, who was stubborn as a mule was yelling back at him. This was WAAAY to early for America to be hearing this.
"Your horrible cooking will be the death of us all nouvelle-Angleterre!"
"Its better then that horrible Gumbo crap you love so much!"
Now where did he hear something that sounded like this before? Oh right… England and France, goddamn those two. Canada and him were stuck with the bad blood states and provinces. He had New England and Louisiana and Canada had Quebec and British Columbia… they would often call each other in the middle of the night to seek help with their warring teens.
"Alright out! The both of you~! It's too early for me to be getting a migraine!" Alfred groaned as he pointed out the door. The two states stopped as they glared at each other and stormed out, Louisiana whispering a small apology.
Rubbing his brows some, he went just moving to the stove as he turned it off. Trying to look at what was inside the pot New England was trying to cook. How the boy managed to make HIS version of clam chowder, nobody knew… Just moving to grab his phone he went heading towered the living room. Eyeing as four teens battled over the controllers to the WiiU as he went sitting down on the couch. He didn't know what they were going to play, but it would be interesting.
California getting the first controller, Washington the next, Alaska oddly getting three and New York with the other. And soon a game of 'beat the ever loving shit out of each other without daddy getting pissed off' commenced. Alfred just smirked some as he watched, hearing curses and threats and the faint kols of Alaska… yup, kid took after the Russian TOO much.
It was amusing to watch and he would have loved to join, but the kids needed their bonding time… and the other controller was still half way through the wall after Montana had lost to Oregon. Distracting himself from the teens for a minute he went calling up his boss, needing him to explain a few things about that new bill he passed.
"Come on! Fuck you and your Kirby!"
"You just jealous cause you didn't get the bubblegum vacuum~"
"….you only like it cause it sucks like you do."
Washington and New York started laughing loudly as California snarled at them and with two smacks of a large fan; Kirby had sent Link and Mario flying off the screen. The two boys instantly stopped as they pounced on her, attempting to rip the controller from her hands. Alaska just hummed as he continued playing while the others were distracted, only after a few seconds did he look over at America and loudly enough said.
"Oh lookie, it seems like I just won~"
The three of them stopped instantly, the teens were on the floor in a messy tangle of limbs. California on her back with New York straddling her. Washington standing above trying to grab at the controller she held to her chest. But before they could say anything, they regretted playing this game.
"The hell are you doing?"
Alfred had glanced over from his phone as he looked at them, with wide eyes. Alaska just giggled some as he went playing with the end of his scarf. The states instantly went moving to run out of the room, all three faces completely red. America groaned as he rubbed at his temples, why were his kids so weird? Goddamn hormonal Teenagers…
"Alfred?"
Shit, he was still on the phone! "yeah sorry I'm here!" he yelled back as he went trying to get the president back to what he was talking about and avoid the whole awkwardness of looking up just a bit to soon.
Breakfast had went by well, North and south Dakota having decided to make it. Sitting at the large table that could hold 51 people, Alfred just eyed them. They were going to town on the sausage and gravy North Dakota had made. The freshly baked buns still so soft and warm were being demolished by the states quickly. A small smile came to his face as he watched his kids eat; hearty appetites meant strong growing kids.
"And then the giant moth attacked poor Mr. Flops!"
"You don't say Wyoming?"
"Yeah! And then Nevada came in and started playing strip poker with it!"
"Why the hell am I in your dreams?!"
The states started bickering over Wyoming's dream as Alfred sipped at some coffee. Mildly catching the conversation the states were having with each other. Some were about dreams; other was about what they wanted to do today. And he went ignoring a few that went into politics. He was NOT doing politics' on a Saturday morning….
"Hey dad don't you agree?!"
Alfred looked over at Kansas who was still in his flannel pajamas and grinning widely. What was the boy talking about now? Alfred just went taking another sip off his coffee as he shrugged some.
"Yeah sure no problem..."
And Kansas grinned as Nebraska and Colorado fist pumped the air. Alfred raised a brow as he gazed over at Alaska who was just smiling happily to himself. Dear god, what did he just agree too? Damn his short attention span and not thinking before he answered.
The states scattered as a few stayed behind to do the dishes. Alaska just went moving to Alfred as he went tilting his head some as his hands moved behind his back. Alfred was sure all this kid needed was a pipe and a 'become one complex' and he could easily replace Russia.
"What is it Alaska? I'm about to go take a shower..."
"You shouldn't take one yet, you'll just get dirty again~"
"…WHY?"
"Didn't you agree to go muddin*?"
And Alfred groaned as he face palmed with two hands. Dear god, that's what Kansas wanted of him? Sighing to himself he went moving past the large child rubbing his head. Alaska nuzzled into his hand some as he watched the other quickly leave off, just moving to go and bother Hawaii.
The next two hours were fun to say the least, two dirt bikes, a dome buggy, and three ATV's had been utterly destroyed. But hell, it was a blast and Alfred regretted nothing… Except for maybe killing one of Washington's trees in the process but eh…
Walking inside the house with the three boys completely covered in mud and grime had earned a banshee screech from Massachusetts… the nagging, oh dear god the nagging…. Its worse then England's cause the kid could go on for days and day's… not that Alfred ever tempted to test out that theory last year during an epic football outside in the pouring rain…
Forced to go shower off in the backyard with the hose, Alfred lead the march. Leading the boys in a single straight line he grabbed the hose and turned it on, spraying each one down well enough so Massachusetts couldn't complain.
"Okay you're all done, go on." He said letting them go in as he went to go put the hose away and sighed deeply. Wonder if he was lucky enough he could manage to sneak in a quick nap before lunch...
"Okay, fuck you and your goddamn piece of shit ass Patriots!"
"Your just mad cause I won the super bowl~"
"Yeah, whose the smart one who decided to throw the ball when you were THAT close?"
"It was stupid, I don't even have a football team and I think it's stupid…"
"Alaska, I will END you~"
Washington just glared over at the other states as he threw his hands up and stormed off passed Alfred. The man blinked as he gazed at the teenagers with a raised brow as they giggled back at him.
"He's mad cause his team lost~" Alaska said playing with the end of his scarf.
"Okay, okay, cut him some slack… they still did well." Alfred said crossing his arms some.
"Yeah… but I STILL WON~" New England purred as he went holding his head up high
"…yeah but your cooking still sucks Nouvelle-angleterre!"
"Bloody wanker! Fuck you!"
"…why do all my kids cuss?" Alfred whined. "It's not like I cuss… all that much…"
"….You should hear yourself when you don't get any burgers dad." New York grumbled. "Your worse then England…"
America gasped as he held his chest, feigning he was hurt as he gave the boy puppy dog eyes. New York frowned as he tried his hardest to not cave in, but fuck... Those damn baby blues! He ran over to hug him quickly as he whined.
"I didn't mean it! You don't cuss at all! You're an angel~!" Alfred grinned as he hugged him tightly, nuzzling his cheek against the others.
"Damn straight I am! HAHAHA!"
Muddin: using a form of vehicle over fresh mud and having a blast... (or so i been told off squid billy's )