Graves
He would catch the looks that people would give him, looks of pity and looks of grief. But Ienzo could not even let himself bat an eye. The young boy knew the things that had been said since his parents had been killed, and the rumours as to how it came about and what would happen to the young boy now.
None of them truly expected Ansem the Wise to take him in. He did not seem to be a man to want children, and Ienzo knew it too. But he would not voice his thoughts, as his voice had gone in on itself in fear of what had happened when he all but witnessed the bloodshed. Ienzo silently calculated, his mind getting away with him, pondering what Ansem's true ambitions were. But from what he showed he wished to feed the boy's mind, and Ienzo was in no place to reject.
The castle gave him a simple life. He would stay in his room, go down and observe the experiments that the other apprentices did, and sometimes he too would participate, once Xehanort and Ansem came to the conclusion that he was ready, and sometimes he would leave the castle, wander through town and rest by the Fountain Court. Though most times he was accompanied by another apprentice. He was not trusted to walk the streets alone, and Ienzo knew full well it was not just because he was too young to be doing so.
But once a month, he would go to the flower store near night fall, and buy a small bouquet of lilies, varying in colour and place them in a vase of water for the night. In the morning, as the sun broke into the horizon he would slip out of the castle and make his way down passed the gardens and out of town, walking fifteen or so minutes to the outskirts where the cemetery was built. It made sense, for them not to wish for the Garden to be brought down by such a dark place, Ienzo concluded.
The early April sun peaked through the young apprentice's window, and a small buzz sounded throughout the room, disturbing him from his slumber. He sat up, and reached over to his bedside table and shut off the alarm, not wishing to disturb any other people who may have been asleep. Pushing back his blankets he shivered, missing their warmth. 'I'll have to speak to Even about the temperature of the sleeping quarters again.' He jotted down in his mind, as he got up and shredded out of his sleeping garments and throwing them into the hamper. He ran a hand through his messy hair, letting it fall properly back over his right eye.
Ienzo went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of neatly folded black pants, a black t-shirt and a roll of socks. Wasting no time dallying, he put the clothing on and went to his closet, grabbing a windbreaker. This was one of the few days he would wear something besides the drastic white of the lab clothing. He would change into that later, but for now he wanted to put on something more casual, something he himself had before coming here; the clothing he had been left with, with his parent's passing.
He noted that it was becoming a bit small, and he would have to get new clothing if he wished to continue having his "casual" day; though he was beginning to deem it unnecessary. After zipping up the windbreaker he went over to his windowsill. He smiled a bit, seeing the fireflies he had caught a few days ago buzzing around, a small light barely noticeable under these circumstances. He looked at the vase he had set down and picked it up.
Carrying it, he took it to the bathroom where he got a piece of paper towel and wrapped it around the base of the flowers as he took them from the water. He poured the water out of the vase and tucked it away under the sink until it's next use.
He looked at the flowers that were in his left hand and sighed a bit. How many times was he going to do this until his thoughts drifted away from such simple rituals? He did not know how things were going to be around the castle as he got older, there was no telling what it was he was going to be working on once more trust was given to him from Ansem, and most notably to Xehanort. He was the one working all the strings; even Ienzo knew that, even if the other apprentices didn't think he was that aware.
He shook his head. No, he could not waste his time on such trivial things, not today. He walked toward his bedroom door and slipped his feet into his shoes, and tied them up. He glanced toward his bookshelf and wondered if he was going to have enough time to try and read something. Shaking his head he decided against it. By the time he got there he knew that he wouldn't have enough time to sit back and try and read. He had experiments to do today and he was fully aware that Xehanort would not let him be lack, or slack on his work.
He moved like a ghost, his feet barely making a sound as he walked through the vacant halls of the castle. He kept his ears trained on any change in sound or movements, but nothing came. He thought he might go and get something from the kitchen to snack on so that he could hold off until lunch time, but if he did not take his time with his visit, he'd make it back before breakfast ended.
With the slight plan in mind, he held the flowers closer to his person and slipped out the front door. He was met with a cold wind, and Ienzo had to pull the windbreaker closer to his body. He tried to shield the flowers so they wouldn't get tussled by the gust and began his journey. On most days he would glance around the town, mindlessly taking in the view. But this time he had a purpose and did not want to lose his time because something in the town caught his eye.
Ienzo wasn't surprised from the lack of activity, it made this much easier. He knew if someone else were to see him walking to the exit of Radiant Garden they would try and stop him, saying that he shouldn't venture outside without someone to go with him. But this was something he had to do alone; he didn't want anyone else there with him. It was his time, he was going to savour it.
He walked to the gateway, and looked over his shoulder and gave a weak smile. He walked down the trail, having the route mapped out in his mind to the point where he could walk there with his eyes closed. He looked at the flowers in his hand and couldn't help wondering if his parents would have liked them, if they were alive. He didn't understand what was driving him to do this but he had read that this is what people did; visiting grave sights and paying their respects… Ienzo figured he could do that much, even if nothing came of it.
The road weaved and turned until Ienzo was standing in front of the old grey building, taking it in for a moment. He didn't like that he always had to walk through the place to get through to where all of the graves were, but there was nothing he could do about it. The Undertaker had once offered to give Ienzo a real tour of the place; including the morgue and Ienzo was very tempted to take him up on it, but decided against it nonetheless.
With an exaggerated sigh he stepped up to the door, and pushed it open, hearing a loud screech. He also heard the sound of boots heading toward the door. Not hesitating, he started to walk toward the yard, and saw the Undertaker come into view. "Ah, Ienzo," He said softly, giving him the faintest of smiles. "That time of month already?" Ienzo simply nodded, and walked passed him.
'There are more tomb stones.' Ienzo observed. A useless observation to be sure, as it was a cemetery, but it still made the boy a bit sad to know that more people had been dying since his last visit. He walked the familiar trail, letting his eyes wander to the other stones, seeing the flowers and other sentimental things in front of the graves of loved ones.
Parents, children, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, wives, husbands, to unknown others, they were all buried here. But out of all of them, there were only two that Ienzo cared for. Or had cared for. He stood there, looking down at the stones, in which his parents' names were engraved.
Without a thought, he went through the motions of laying the flowers by his parents graves, laying an equal amount of them in front of the stones. He looked between the two once he was done for a moment before glancing around him to make sure the grounds were empty. Seeing that he was in the clear, he crouched down and bowed his head towards the tombstones and let out a silent sob.
He had to act like a grown up every day of his life, ever since his parents were taken away from him. This was the only time he would let his emotions take hold of him, overwhelm him to the point where the tears would not stop falling from his eyes. His body shook and everything around him started to spiral as his tiny body fell and simply collapsed against the ground, in between the two graves.
His mind swam memories of his parents, the now empty promises that his father had made to him, and all the things his mother said that they would do one day… It was all gone, too far away for the child to reach. He could not pass the boundary of death, he would never be able to bring them back no matter how much his childish mind wished for it. He merely missed his parents. But he did not pity them.
No, he would not pity the dead, because they were no longer alive. They could not feel anything, they no longer existed except for the memories they left in other's memories. Everyone always told him that his parents would not want him to be sad, and he knew that was true. He would only give himself these few minutes of weakness, once a month, to remind himself that even though he was forced to act as an adult for the majority of his time, he was still a child. He still had emotions, he still needed the love and affection that his parents could no longer provide for him.
He had no idea how long he laid there for, before he lifted his head from the dirt and took another look at his parents' graves. He brought his arms up and wiped his irritated eyes and let out a few shaky breaths as he stood up. Just like that, his emotions were locked away and he was back to that silent, vacant boy he had become.
"Until next month…" He muttered as he turned his back to their graves, and headed back to the garden, back to the castle, back to the laboratory and back to those experiments.