I Do not own Deadpool, vampire knight or any of their affiliated products/stories, this is a free fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy
Few little tips any writing within two * marks is Deadpool's thought box talking
Any ... marks means that someone is pausing mid sentance.
*It was a cold dark night.*
"you know our readers can see that, no need to explain it," Said a slightly annoyed masked figure, to the complete bewilderment of those surrounding him.
*Uhm... actually were not being drawn at the moment this story is in writing only*
"Wait, so you mean i can do THIS and the readers cant see it"
*Yup*
"And this?"
*sigh, yes*
"Even this?" Luckily most of the watchers had turned to look at each other trying to make sense of the conversation, however one unlucky blonde one was still watching him, he regretted it for the rest of his life.
*YUCK! Thank god were not on screen or the audience would be throwing up right about now, We would be sued for indecent exposure, we would never have another issue published, we would... wait how is that even possible?*
Deadpool just smiled, or at least i think he smiled, cant be to sure with that mask on. He could have been grimacing in disgust at the slowly spreading pool of sick all over the floor.
"Jeez i thought you vampires had stronger stomachs than that," Deadpool looked around at the silent gathering, "so who is it that requires my services?"
"Ahem, uhh i take it you are uhm... Dead...pool? dead pool? how can a pool be dead?" said one of the darker haired vampires stepping forwards, "uhh.. anyway allow me to take you to Chairman Cross he is expecting you."
"Hmm you know i never thought about it, do you have any ideas?"
*nope*
"Ohh well we had better go meet this chair person." Deadpool started walking towards the largest building leaving the crowd of vampires with confused looks on their faces.
The dark haired boy rushed forwards to show Deadpool the way, "My name is Kaname By the way, its an uhm... pleasure... to meet you" he said with no little uncertainty, "by the way who were you talking to back there?"
"The Audience" said Deadpool casually.
"The what?" Asked Kaname with a look of utter confusion on his face.
"our readers"
"readers?"
"Yeah like in a book" Said Deadpool making large signs with his hands.
*Jeez you would think that after about a hundred years or so they might actually learn something, but nope this ones dumb as a brick.*
"Hmm maybe bricks should be my new teaching method"
"WHAT!" Said Kaname completely loosing track of the conversation.
*we finally arrived at a door, it was a normal door, nothing wro...*, at that moment the door flew off its hinges and crashed out the window on the other side of the hall.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!" came the hysterical screaming from inside.
"I just said give daddy a kiss."
CRACK Several seconds later a young girl came out of the room with big X X anger marks all over her head.
*Gotta love Japanese animation, looks soo cute*
"I agree there." said Deadpool while walking into the chairman's office.
There was a massive desk in the middle of the room it was spit in half with a blond man wearing glasses laying on top of the now broken desk.
"I always thought chairs went under desks not on top of them"
*you see that is why you don't put chairs on top of desks while animated by the Japanese, speaking of which why don't we try fix the desk with a doorknob*
"Good idea move over mister chair man since this is Japanese animation i think i will try fix your desk with a doorknob."
"I'm not even going to ask." said Kaname who had just walked in with a glass of water and a pack of small white tablets.
"Ahh i see you have the blood tablets Kaname,"
"Uhm...Actually there Aspirin."
"Why?"
"you'll see." said Kaname dropping four or five into the glass and draining it in one gulp.
10 seconds later "hmm so you can fix things with doorknobs"
"Just a warning no Guns are allowed within the grounds of this school. "Said the chairman while inspecting the two bullet holes in his otherwise perfectly repaired desk.
"These aren't guns their doorknobs," said Deadpool seriously. "Also here's my dry-cleaning bill, one of your vampires was sick on me earlier on"
"wait WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE DRY CLEANERS?" well since were not being drawn at the moment i had my box fill in for me while you gave me a tour of the school."
"But i never gave you a tour of the school." said Kaname swallowing another aspirin tablet whole.
"uhm... time travel?" said Deadpool *Meh anything goes when its Japanese animation, we don't even need a reason just say it happened and it did*
"Now, down to business. I called you here because i have a job for you."
"please not teaching, please not teaching, please not teaching" whispered Kaname under his breath.
"I want you to."
"Please God, not a teacher, ill do anything, man ill even go vegan just don't let him be a teacher." said Kaname almost at the point of kneeling down and praying.
"Teach the night class"
"NOOOOOOO" Screamed Kaname, before jumping out the window that the door had broken previously.
That my friends concludes chapter one.
Please review and tell me your thoughts.