Standard disclamer apply. Don't own Ai no Kusabi. No money made this way.
Six months.
Six months since he was awake.
Six months since he was ressurected from the dead.
Six months since he was totally, utterly alone.
He needed him so much. Yet there he was, laying motionless in his hospital bed. Not one movement, not one sound. Silence. Stillness.
He NEEDED HIM! It hurt how much he felt helpless. He wanted to scream, to cry, to do something, anything, just to see his eyes open. To hear the sound of his voice. Oh, god!
A tear stole it's way down his cheek. Then another one, and another one. Soon he was sobbing, holding to his bed, calling over and over again his name.
- Iason... please... Iason... wake up... please – he begged. Something he hated the most. He begged. He needed him, like he needed the air. 'Please, please, please, wake up. Hold me. hold me. HOLD ME!'
But nothing happened. Iason still lay there without giving a sign that he was alive, except slow rise and fall of his chest.
He looked like an angel. His hair all around his form. Silky, soft. Just as Riki remembered.
But he was so pale. Paler than usual. Frightiningly pale. And looked so... fragile.
Even in his mind Riki choked that word. Fragile.
Blondie may look beautifuly, his face sometimes even feminine. He could be gentle, even vulnerable. But never fragile.
One thouch and he would shatter. So delicate.
He was worried. Like never before in his life. New or old.
The doctors said there was some problems after they regenerated his body. Something happened and his recovery became a constant battle. They didn't know what went wrong. The tests keep showing that everything was fine, but yet the Blondie didn't recover. His body stayed the same. Thin, pale. FRAGILE. Slowly dying away.
Riki couldn't allow that. And just like he felt something was wrong, he woke from his coma.
Only to be met with this. This shadow of Iason.
He rememebered the first time he saw his Master... no, his love. He cried for days. Not being able to do anything but look, watch Iason disappearing.
And then one day he went to him. Sit by his hospital bed and just started to talk. He didn't know about what he talked. It didn't matter. He needed something, anything.
Sometimes he even hold Iason's hand. The mere touch making him feel so much better. But on the other days he was afraid to touch him, frightened if he touch him he will shatter. And everytime he cried. Calling his name. 'Wake up, wake up, can't you see I need you. You always protected me, gave me everything, why won't you do it now. Why aren't you protecting me anymore? Why?'
He heard the hiss of the door. He didn't look up. He knew who came. Everyday, at the same time. No matter what happened. Raoul.
He sat on the chair on the opposite of the Riki. On the other side of Iason. He didn't say a word. They said to each other everything they had to say.
Riki sobbed one more time, wipping his tears away. Not ashamed of his tears. Not anymore. and not infront of this Blondie. He saw Roaul cry. More then once. Sometimes they cried together and afterward laugh as they were retelling their stories of Iason.
First time when he saw Raoul was horrible. Raoul came to him the moment he heard the Mongrel was awake. At first when the door opened and Riki saw a blue mane of hair he breathed:
- Iason! – forgeting that he was laying on the bed next to his. When he realized that it was Raoul, he stared to cry, again, remembering Iason was in this same room, but all the same as he wasn't.
- You! – one word. Sentence. Execution. Hate. Pain. Just one look at the Blondie and Riki ached like never before the moment he was awake. This... Blondie was alive, was fine, walking, talking. And his Blondie was between life and death. It wasn't fair. 'But you are to be blamed for what happened to Iason.'
- It's your fault – Raoul said like he was reading his mind. – that Iason looks like this. You destroyed him. You made him a ruin. – everything was said in a whisper, from which Riki shuddered. Does all Blondies managed to control the others just buy whispering?
He didn't say a thing. Didn't try to defend himself. he just kept sobbing. He knew it was his fault.
Raoul turned his gaze to Iason. And every anger or hate that he felt were wipped away. Only pain and worry and was it... love was left in his eyes. Riki looked at Iason again. his own worry and love showing.
They looked again at each other. An understanding came then between each other. They knew what the other felt for Iason.
And since then they talked about Iason. About his past with Raoul, how they met, were there for each other in the Academy and afterwards. Even that, having a friend, was strange for a Blondie. Iason was really a deviant one.
And neither Roul nor Riki could resist him.
After almost four months of their talking did Raoul confess he loves Iason. A friend. He was his only friend. His confidant. He was so worried about Iason always nagging, because he didn't want to lose him.
And Riki for the first time confessed that he needs Iason, that he loves him more than anything. If needed be, he would die all over again, just to see those eyes open once more. To hear him say his name.
And now Raoul was here again. They just sat there, silent. Hoping, praying that Iason would open his eyes.
Their prayers stayed just that, prayers.
One good thing that happened after Riki was awake is that Iason started to breath on his own. His life no more in danger. But still he wouldn't wake, nor regain his former stature.
He was as fragile as the first time Riki saw him.
Today, he dared to hold his hand. It was cold. As always. Ice.
But today he decieded to do one more thing he never did. He bringed Iason's hand to his face and caressed it, put it against his cheek. And then kissed it.
Raoul watched this in silence. He knew Riki was hurting in more ways then one, all the pains were psychic.
- Iason – Riki's voice was hoarse from all the crying. – Wake up. Raoul came. Come on, wake up. – tears welled again in his eyes.
Raoul's started to sting too. But he didn't cry. Not anymore. He was a Blondie and Blondies didn't cry. Didn't they?
Nothing happened.
Riki took one deep breath to calm himself. It helped a little. But not enough.
Only thing that could help him was to see Iason awake, hear his voice, see him on his legs, feel him on his skin, feel him inside himself.
But nothing of that happened.
But it will.
Will it?
After some time Raoul left. Just as he came, without a word.
Riki stayed alone with Iason. Not wanting to leave of a second. It was Raoul who managed to arrange his stay in the hospital until Iason was well, or...
He said that the presence of the Mongrel soothed Iason, even helped him.
Then why isn't he waking?
They allowed it, not because they believed it was the truth. A Mongrel to help a Blondie. But because Raoul was the one who asked, no, who commanded that Riki is allowed to stay.
And so he was here, always.
Today was especially hard. Riki didn't know why today. But he wanted to jump out of his skin, he hurted and needed so much. Like never before.
Why? A thought, a remembrence. This date,two years in the past. He lost Iason.
Dana Bahn. He thought about that day over and over again. What he could have done to stop that cursed day to happen. And he could have done so many things. So many. And he didn't do none of it, except he killed his love. His life. He killed Iason.
Oh, god, I need him awake. He rose from his chair, and bent under still form of the Blondie.
- I need you, - he whispered – do you hear me, Blondie. I need you. A Mongrel needs a Blondie. Iason, please, wake up. Please, love, please. – and then he bent even further until he was touching Iason's cold lips. – I love you – he whispered against Blondies mouth and kiss him.
Nothing.
He was a sleeping beauty but one kiss won't wake him.
Riki was furious now. And he hit Blondies chest, hard.
An alarm went off. Riki jumped, horror gripping his whole body.
'What have you done?'
Iason's breathing became erratic. He started to spasm. His lips parted. His fist clenching and relaxing. A sound came from his throat.
Riki looked not knowing what to do. His Blondie had moved but was he dying, was he waking? What was going on?
A hord of doctors ran into the room. They didn't even look at Riki, they just ran to the bed were Blondie was trashing, looking at he monitors, or examine him with some instruments.
Then like the spasm begann they stopped. Doctors moved slowly away from the bed, not sure what happened.
Riki sat on his bed trying to see what was going on. The doctors moved and he saw his Blondie.
Sky-blue eyes met the black ones.
- Riki. -
Should I continue?
Feedback is appreciated.