Author's Notes: I'm back! It's been a VERY long while since I've written anything. A lot of things happened since the last time I posted a fic. Check my profile for details on my other fics, and my life in general. In the meantime, do enjoy this sort-of sequel to my other Toby-fic, Emotions. Do that check that out if you haven't. As it's been a long time since I've last read the books, I really couldn't recall if Toby had any mates or 'special friend' among the Hork Bajir. It's been four years, so I hope I haven't lost my touch. Enjoy and review if you have the time.
The Living Dead
Toby Hamee was many things. A Hork-Bajir. A Seer. The leader of her people. A daughter. A friend. And now, she was a mother.
She stared down the small tangle of limbs and skin in her arms, her large dark eyes meeting the closed ones of her firstborn. Her first child. Her son.
"A good name, we need," a gentle, male voice spoke from beside her, and Toby turned to smile at her mate. He was tall, even for a Hork-Bajir, and the blades on his limbs were amongst the most impressive in the colony. But his eyes were gentle, his voice soft and kind.
Rak Happa was his name and Toby now understood what her parents had felt for each other. Toby, for all her intelligence and innate wisdom, had never dreamed that she would be able to find a happiness that rivaled her parents'. She thought that she was too different, too much of an outsider to her colony's simple ways, even if they did look up to her. She was wrong.
Her human friend, Cassie, had first been wary when she got to know of her choice. Toby had understood her concern, for it was within the human sphere of understanding that some mates were chosen not for feelings of love and belonging that would bind mates for their whole lives, but for their position and power. Cassie had been too… diplomatic… to insinuate anything at all. But Toby had learnt how to read humans well. Toby had understood Cassie. But she had dismissed her wariness. Hork Bajir were not humans. They would never understand, nor condone, a mating such as that. Rak was too simple, too honest, as Hork Bajir tend to be.
'A name, Toby. We must have a name," Rak urged.
Toby nodded, and once again turned to look at her newborn. A few names surfaced, all good choices for free Hork Bajir, names that signify joy and freedom. A particular name leapt out at her, a human name, one that still caused a strange pain each time she thought of it, a name that held special meaning to her heart.
Naming her first son Tobias would be fitting indeed, if only she herself had not been named after him. It is not good to dwell upon a friend's demise, when your own name serves as a reminder every day. And yet more thoughts swirled within her, arguments and counter arguments that only her mind was capable of. No, she could not choose.
She turned to Rak.
"You name him, beloved," she said.
Rak blinked at her. Then a smile blossomed on his face. Toby knew that Hork Bajir smiles tend to scare humans. Her long ago human friend Marco had likened it to a giant lizard smiling at its next meal. Toby had dismissed it as human humor. Lizards do not smile at their meals. Toby had observed enough tree lizards to know that. Only humans smiled at their meals. The thought amused her but she kept it to herself. If she did not understand human humor, chances were that humans would not be able to comprehend her own brand of… amusing thoughts. Toby resurfaced from her thoughts at Rak's voice.
"We name him Jak Happa," he murmured, staring straight at the baby in Toby's arms.
Jake, Toby immediately thought. Jake Happa. It immediately stuck to her, refusing to go away. Jake. Toby recalled a young and serious face, burdened by a destiny too heavy for anyone to carry. Jake. Jak Happa.
"Ram the Bladeship."
Those words would never truly fade from her memory. Jake, who gave all he had, and more. Who made impossible choices and paid for them. Whose name would forever be engraved into the history of Earth as one of its greatest heroes. Yes. Jak Happa.
Her parents had named their first child after the boy who saved her people. She would name her first child after the boy who saved her people's new home. Yes. Jak Happa.
She turned to smile to Rak, who had looked to her for a response. A musle quivered on the side of his jaw. He was seeking approval.
She gave him a warm smile.
"Jak Happa. A good name, my beloved. A good name."
The precious tangle in her arms released a squeak and Toby looked down. She knew that Jak Happa would be like his father. Simple and happy, free and content. He would have none of her troubling wonderings, none of his namesake's burden. Happiness awaits him. Only his eyes showed the tiniest bit of difference. They were old eyes, staring unblinkingly at her.
I know you, it seemed to tell her.
"May you have the peace and happiness you deserve, my son," she murmured as she hugged him close.
And may you have the peace granted to you, Jake Berenson.
Finis.