Katniss woke up screaming again only this time it seemed the flames followed her into the waking world. She had been dreaming of Prim and the bombs and the flames. She had to put out the flames. It was only when Peeta's strong arms grabbed her that she came fully awake from the nightmare. He was holding her close and whispering that everything was alright as she gagged and choked and cried. His shirt was soaked with her tears before she was finally able to relax in his arms. He was rocking her gently back and forth on the edge of the bed. They didn't need words at this point. Both knew the horror of nightmares – both the sleeping and waking kind. She lay against his chest until, exhausted, she fell back into a thankfully dreamless sleep.
She awoke several hours later to find the room bathed in sunlight which meant it was nearly noon. Peeta still lay next to her. His arms still encircled her and cradled her against him. She looked up into his face. He had once been simply 'the boy with the bread", then her competition in a deadly game. Their romance had started out, at least for her, as a pretense. She wasn't sure when exactly the feelings had started to change.
Certainly, that night on the beach during the Quarter Quell, she had realized she wanted more from him than friendship, but Gale had still been in her thoughts. Her feelings had been so mixed up. Then she had thought she'd lost him and it had been like a part of her was taken. She had been so empty without Peeta. She needed his calm strength to anchor her.
It had only been a few days earlier that Peeta had come back to District 12. She knew he still had not completely recovered from the hijacking but he was more like the boy she remembered than he had been in a long while. He had surprised her with the planting of the primrose plants outside her window. That simple, unselfish act was something only Peeta would have thought to do. She remembered how she didn't even thank him properly. How could she ever deserve him?
As she gazed into his beautiful face with all these thoughts running through her head, she felt him stir and saw his unbelievably blue eyes look down at her. "Katniss," he said, "What are you looking so serious about so early in the morning?" She couldn't help herself. She smiled at him. "It's not so early AND I'm starving," she said as she slipped from his arms and sat up. He reached and pulled her face back to his and kissed her so lightly it was like a breath against her lips. His eyes were the eyes she remembered from before all the pain. She couldn't speak or move. The moment was so perfect that she wanted to just stop time so that she could look at him and feel this way forever, but he soon sat up. "Well we'd better feed you then. Don't want you to get irritable, do we?" he said with a smirk. He got up and started out the door, "Peeta," she said and he turned, "Thank you for last night, for the primrose bushes, for everything." He nodded, smiled and walked down the stairs leaving her alone to dress for the day.
When she got to the kitchen, she found that Sae had left some stew on the stove and there were rolls from the day before. She ate hungrily. It wasn't long before she smelled the aroma of baking bread from next door so she knew what Peeta was doing. She wanted to go over and just look at him, watch him as he made the bread and rolls that he always shared with the few remaining residents of District 12. He was in his element in the kitchen just as she was in the forest. It was funny to think that compared to most couples their places were reversed. She should be the baker and he the hunter according to the traditional way. But what did it matter? He was happy baking and she could lose herself in the cool green woods while hunting. She picked up her bow and went off to the forest. She could see Peeta later.
Spring was turning the previously destroyed meadow green again. There were busy bees, langorous butterflies and cheery birds everywhere this time of year. It was the time that nature seemed to be the happiest. It was the time to throw off the cold, dark cloak of winter and for the trees and flowers to be reborn. Katniss wished that starting over could be so easy for herself, Peeta, Haymitch and the rest of the survivors. The warmer weather couldn't banish the scars and the pain they all carried as easily as it melted the snow. But the fresh air and the smell of the pine and honeysuckle did seem to lighten her mood as did her thoughts of the morning spent lying in Peeta's arms. She was so distracted that she missed several easy shots at grazing rabbits. She ended up with a couple of scrawny squirrels to take home for Sae's pot but at least she wasn't empty handed.
At the back door to her house, she sat cleaning the squirrels when she felt someone watching her. She looked up to see him standing at his open kitchen window. She blushed as she returned his gaze with a smile. He looked so handsome even wearing a dirty apron and with flour up to his elbows. His blonde mop of hair was, as usual, threatening to flop into his eyes but that was Peeta. He was strong but so gentle, honest and kind. Oh, how she loved him! It shocked her to suddenly realize the truth of her feelings for Peeta. How could she be in love with him when the grief of losing Prim was still so raw? She had to stop this. It was wrong to want to be happy with Peeta. She wasn't what he needed. In fact, he probably would never be able to love her again after all that had happened. He felt sorry for her and wanted to comfort her. That was all.
They'd be friends again, hopefully, but nothing more. Love was not in the cards for her. She was too damaged and she had lost everyone she'd ever loved. She wouldn't take that risk with Peeta. She needed him too much. She couldn't lose him.
As the days passed, Katniss and Peeta settled into a routine. She would hunt each day and he would bake. They would often eat dinner together, sometimes with Haymitch when he was sober enough to eat. They would take walks holding hands but never more than that. It was good to see familiar faces begin returning to rebuild homes in District 12. The ashes and burned timbers were replaced with new lumber and bricks. Each train brought supplies, furniture and paint. The air was filled with the buzzing of saws and the pounding of hammers. Life was returning to District 12.
They both still had nightmares and Peeta would often end up holding her as they slept but they didn't kiss and rarely even talked as they lay together. They just held on to each other until the ghosts could be beaten back into submission and they could face another day. Katniss would still look at him as he slept and wonder how it was possible that he could even want to be near her. She knew that he fought daily with the thoughts that had been implanted in his brain by Snow. She would see him grab the counter or the back of a chair and clench his jaw as he stared into the distance when the visions threatened to take over. It hurt her to know that she caused him so much pain.
She tried to be extra nice to him to make up for all that he had suffered. She would bite her tongue whenever she felt a sarcastic reply forming in response to anything he said. She tried to always be polite, sweet and accommodating to whatever he wanted to do. Effie had told her before their first Hunger Games that she needed to mind her manners, and she was finally following that advice. It was hard to be so different than her usual self but it was all for Peeta. She could do it for him. Sometimes it seemed that no matter how nice she was, he was angry with her. He would even tease her to try and make her snap at him. But she'd made up her mind. She was going to take care of Peeta and make things better for him from now on.
It was late summer when the storm hit district 12. It had rained all day. As night fell, Katniss ate dinner alone. She saw the light on in Peeta's kitchen and almost ran over despite the drenching downpour, but he had been moody and distant for the past few days. She didn't want to make him more uncomfortable.
She was just settling down into bed when the power went off which was nothing unusual. The power supply in the district had always been iffy and had actually just been restored a few months ago. The wind had probably knocked the lines down. She fumbled for the candle and matches that she kept near at hand in her bedroom. The flickering flame made the dark room seem bigger and emptier. The only other illumination was the flashing of the lightning through the window.
Katniss finally blew out the candle and fell asleep despite the storm. It was a troubled sleep. She had the dream of Prim again, standing in the square as the parachuted bombs floated down. She was screaming at Prim to run, to save herself, but no matter how loud she screamed, Prim did not hear. She looked so serious and so brave tending to the wounded. Then she turned to Katniss and smiled. Her mouth formed the words, "Live Katniss" just as the bombs started exploding and the fire was everywhere. Prim was burning and then Katniss was burning. The flames were roaring loudly in her ears.
Suddenly Peeta was shaking her "Wake up Katniss! We have to go. Wake up!" The wind was the same roaring sound from her dream. "It's a tornado! We have to get to the basement," he said as he pulled her from the bed and dashed down the stairs.
Just as they got huddled into the corner of the basement, they heard the windows start breaking above them. Katniss realized that Peeta was crushing her hand in his. She could feel the pounding of his heart and hear his rapid breathing. Was he having a flashback? She had to help him. "It's alright Peeta. We're home now. It's just the wind. I'm here. I love you Peeta. It's going to be alright." Suddenly his arm was around her and he was crushing her to him. His eyes were burning into hers. It had to be a flashback. She had to save him. "It's Katniss, Peeta. I love you. I'll always take care of you. It's alright." Then his lips were on hers and his hands were caressing her. His mouth moved from hers down her neck and then even lower. She couldn't breathe. It was all she had wanted for so long yet never dared to believe was possible. He breathed her name, "Katniss," then, "Say it again." She didn't know what it was he wanted her to say but as his lips continued their path across her skin, she could only think one thing, "I love you Peeta." And then there was no need for words.
Katniss awoke in the circle of Peeta's arms as she so often did, but nothing else about this morning was the same as any other. They were lying on an old dusty tarp in the corner of the basement. The house was completely quiet now. The storm had passed. She looked up to see Peeta's eyes upon her. She blushed at the thought of what had occurred between them but he brushed his hand against her cheek and leaned to kiss her and she forgot her embarrassment as she kissed him back. He held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. His hands were so strong yet she could feel him shaking as he asked, "You love me, real or not real?" and she answered, "Real." Then he smiled and she smiled back. She was so happy for a moment that she forgot all the horror that haunted her. In fact she forgot that anything else existed outside that basement corner until Haymitch's yelling interrupted them.
"Katniss, Peeta, where are you? Are you hurt? Where are you?" he sounded frantic. Peeta grabbed their clothes and they both hurried to dress before yelling up the stairs in answer to him. "We're down here - in the basement." Peeta yelled as he ran up the stairs. He was pushing against the door as Haymitch was pulling and they practically fell into each other. Katniss was right behind him and grabbed Haymitch in a bear hug.
"I should have known that tornado would spit you back out," he laughed as he hugged her back. It seemed that everyone had survived the storm but the house had not made it through unscathed. Quite a few windows were broken and there was a huge branch sticking through the roof. Everything was wet where the rain had gotten in. She and Peeta barely had a chance to speak before all the neighbors were there offering to help clean up. Peeta went home to change clothes and she got dressed, then the whole day was spent with a houseful of people sweeping up broken glass, mopping and carrying wet furniture out to dry in the sun.
Every time she looked at Peeta, she blushed. She knew people must be able to see what she was thinking. He was constantly smiling at her and offering to help with whatever she was doing. If their hands happened to touch, it was like she was touching an open flame. She couldn't look into his eyes without seeing that same heat there from the night before so she tried to keep as busy as possible all day. The evening finally came and everyone started heading for home. Her house had not been the only one damaged but overall the town had survived the storm well. Sae had been busy cooking for everyone all day so she left them with some cold rabbit stew.
Finally it was just she and Peeta alone again. She couldn't wait to be in his arms and practically knocked him down as she grabbed him and kissed him. Then she felt his hands on her arms and he was saying "Wait, Katniss, wait, we have to talk." Her heart sank. He was going to tell her that it had all been a mistake. She felt tears sting her eyes and she never cried except during the nightmares. She pushed away from him and was about to run when he grabbed her back to him.
"I want to say some things that I've been afraid to say to you, Katniss. Until you said you loved me last night, I wasn't sure…I didn't know what you wanted. You were so different after we got back. You didn't seem like yourself at all, but I still love you so much. I always have except for when it wasn't really me but I love you and I want us to be together and…" Katniss couldn't help herself. She laughed. Here was Peeta who was always so good with words rambling on like a fool, a beautiful fool. She kissed him soundly on the lips and said, "Me, too!" Then he laughed as well.
"I thought you didn't love me - that you only wanted to be my friend. You haven't been acting like yourself. I didn't know what to do. I thought if I could just wait and let you deal with things… but I wanted you so much Katniss. I had to stay away from you sometimes just to keep from grabbing you and kissing you. I love you so much." The tears were now dripping from her chin. He was saying everything that she had wanted so much to hear but had been so afraid of. She finally whispered, "I've been so stupid, Peeta. I was afraid and thought I was protecting you. I don't know. You know I'm not good with words." But Peeta smiled and he said "You said exactly the right words for me last night." And then he was kissing her again and nothing else mattered.
They had wasted so much time. Katniss realized that what Prim had said to her in that dream last night was what she had needed to hear. Katniss was still alive and she needed to live not only for herself but for Prim and all the others who were gone. She and Peeta needed to love each other and have a life together to honor the memory of them all. It would never be easy, she knew. There would be nightmares for them both and fears to face but together they could survive anything. Hadn't they proven that already?
So she took his hand. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark finally had the odds in their favor.