what did you give me to make my heart beat out my chest?
A.N: Firstly, I apologise for the super long title but I love the song and it's kinda perfect for Robin's feelings about Starfire. Here's another Teen Titans fic, because that's where my heart is right now. I should be doing revision but writing fanfiction appears to be therapeutic for me. So here we go. Set after Stranded.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I've always had a thing for red-heads.
Back in Gotham, my crush on Babs was mostly because of the flaming red hair that rested upon her shoulders. She never saw me as anything other than a kid brother, and before I left I accepted that. I wasn't one to pine for a long period of time. Or so I thought.
But Star…
Starfire was a completely different story. I was consumed with her. Her scent, her hair, her eyes, her touch. I could write a novel on how enticing she was with her innocent smile and those long, long, legs…
Legs that went on forever, especially in the light of the moon. I recall how she walked towards me like a ghost in the mist, her green eyes blazing, the bow held downwards in her hands.
I had never seen anything more breathtaking, more beautiful than that. Sorry, Babs.
Now, lying in my bedroom with all the lights off, I could think of everything that took place on that hostile planet without being distracted by the fact that my team mates had gone missing.
I honestly felt rather guilty to know that I had that much of an effect on her powers. To think, a compilation of 26 letters could have her without joy? Without flight? It was unnerving, I had to make sure I thought about everything I said to Starfire before I said it, to avoid miscommunication like today.
Honestly, I should have seen it coming. I wasn't ignorant to her feelings towards me, I enjoyed her touch and her warmth. And maybe I was overly friendly with her sometimes, but I was essentially her first friend ever. I could afford to be overdoing the kindness, right?
This was my way of denying my own growing feelings inside me for her, too. It was natural for me - any lingering thoughts I had after an encounter with Star had me immediately thinking of Batman, and what he would think.
But still…
I don't think even Starfire realised the true extent of my infatuation towards her. There were so many things I couldn't do without thinking about her or wishing she was with me at the moment. And when my hormones ran wild… Well, let's just say I did feel the urge to go caveman and drag her away to my bedroom, but I digress.
But there was always one person that stopped me from revealing my true feelings to her. Not, Babs, not Alfred, not even Batman.
Slade.
All I'd have to think of Starfire stuck with him, his slimy hands wrapped around her waist as he whispered in her air and told her to destroy us… and I'd break. The anger that I felt rivalled nothing else; Slade couldn't have her. I needed to keep her safe and this was why I couldn't date her.
Besides, why would she want to date me? I know she liked me but she didn't really know what she was getting into. I was damaged. Having to watch your parents fall to their deaths and be able to do nothing about it really fucked me over, for lack of better expression.
I pushed away everyone, unless they were too adamant and stubborn to let me do so. This is what the Titans were. I had wanted to go solo but they had snuck up on me and honestly I resented them for that… until I didn't.
What would Mom and Dad think of Starfire? Dad would probably look at her and see Mom, and so he would love her regardless. Mom would love her because she had this ability to get me out of my worst moods, unless I was hung up on Slade. Mom would see Starfire as the sun in my cloudy life… She would adore Starfire.
My parents would only want what brought me happiness… Bruce was never like that. Yeah sure, he told me "I care for you", but never did I really get that father-son bond that I desperately needed after the loss of Dad.
We used to have this thing when I was five, and I remember it to this day. He'd put me on his lap, ruffle my hair and whisper, "Te iubesc mai mult decât mă iubesc pe mine."
After a while, I'd learn to reply and say, "imposibil."
Sighing, I got up and left my room, walking towards the Ops. Nobody was there apart from Star, her hair flyaway and wild against the couch as she watched World of Fungus. I smiled… Starfire and her weirdly wonderful habits.
I sat next to her, and aside from a blinding smile she sent my way, her focus was on the show. After the credits rolled, we watched the commercials roll past and I noticed her eyes fluttering closed - I could understand why; we'd had such a difficult past couple of days.
As I glanced at the clock above the flat screen and wondered when I would turn in for the night myself, Star's sleeping form fell across my lap and she cocooned herself around my arm. I had no response other than to stroke her hair softly - she had done this before.
Leaning closer to her, I smiled and whispered in her ear, "Te iubesc mai mult decât mă iubesc pe mine."
My heart stopped and then took of in an increasingly rapid pace when I heard her quiet murmur of reply.
"Imposibil."
A.N: Alright, some fluff/angst for you all! Of course, when Starfire kissed Robin in Go!, she inherited his other languages as well as English.
Translations:
Te iubesc mai mult decât mă iubesc pe mine: I love you more than I love myself
Imposibil: Impossible
Thank you all for reading and reviewing my stories, everyone who's read them. I really appreciate it. :)
-chann3l.0rang3
note: updated/edited on 24/11/2014 because there was too many typos for me to ignore. :)