Boredom, the worst thing in the whole fucking world. That has lead me to this... hovering over my dead body sitting the bloody bathtub and not as in Arthur's bloody hell as in the bath is filled with my blood... It never started this extreme, but I've always loved the color of red... Blood Red.

Arthur never knew, well, I never let him found out and he never will find out... until he get home. Shit! I uh... entertain myself when he goes drinking with Francis or goes to meetings... they relieve me of it. My person beast from hell.

I didn't entertain myself that bad to start with... I tried drinking, but the problem was with drinking is that it wanted to remember. It wanted me to remember. I tried various other things, smoking - it just made me choke and throw up... drugs entertained me for a little while, and the I went higher up the classes till I got bored of the Class A drugs... and somehow even computer games I got bored of! So I tried to knock out the hunger, you know, by fighting... but then I started breaking peoples bones and nobody was willing to fight me I got kicked out. Stupid Wimps. So that's when I picked up the knife... and I realised how much I love the color of blood. The silky texture, the shiny look, the brightness of the deep red. So, I kept doing it, but the more blood I saw, the more I wanted and needed! The weird thing was it was only my blood that made me like that. Only Mine.

So my hunger got what it wanted. I'm sitting in a tub full of my blood. The only thing I'm now dreading and have been ever since I realised I was dead, is Arthur... and when he comes home...

Of course I left him a note... but my note was a video... I couldn't control the beast any longer and I told him I loved him and I'm sorry. I'll miss him his voice, his touch, his smell. Everything about my beautiful angel Arthur. Now I can tell what you're thinking, if I'm so in love why am I doing this... it's unfortunately too simple.
I couldn't control it any longer. They say jealously is bad... try my beast of Boredom.

It started earlier today, I couldn't give it anything until Arthur left for his meeting and I loved the time I could spend with Arthur, but now it was taking over my life. I could feel it - Growing getting Hungry.
Trying to keep it at bay while Arthur was there was horrific. While this was here, I couldn't love Arthur half of what he deserves. I now know this will cause him pain... but it will be the best for him... I'm sure... and pain dies down and numbs... I found that out a long time ago...

But soon enough my sweetheart Arthur went to his meeting... and I raced upstairs where I keep my special pocket knives and the other sharp objects. I found the hidden key and ran to the locked cabinet in the basement, my hand shaking from need, and I finally got the pocket knives, sleek, shiny and lethal. I began his morning amusement just little cuts along my left wrist. That will keep it quite while I eat breakfast... so with my wrist still bleeding I left the basement and quickly shovelled down my breakfast. I played with the cuts on my wrist until... Dammit! I got blood of the table, I cleaned the table before quickly making my way to the bathroom, my pocketknife in my hand and closed the door, and nobody was in so no need to lock it.

I raised the tip of the knife to the crease at the elbow on my forearm, I cut length ways down ways to my wrist crease then pulled the knife away and watch the sparkly red blood ooze out my arm. I could already smell it. The familiar metallic smell. I started to pick at it with the knife, pulling bits of red flesh all over the place... I don't know why but I licked my lips and brought my tongue to the trail of blood and licked upwards to my wrist. The salty, metal like taste in my mouth once again, I smiled. Mmm, the tasted of blood, my blood.
The sharp pain had now turned into more of a throbbing sensation... I needed more!

I carried on cutting, ripping and tearing any part the knife could reach, until I thought I've gone too far... the knife dropped out of my hand... I knew I was going to die... so I wanted to die happy... well happy-ish it would be better if I was old, and Arthur was with me... I was in my 90's, I had a long happy life with Arthur as my partner, legally and I was happy, not being controlled but a monster that has manifested from border.
I thought it would be better to do this in the bath, less mess... so I climbed in, a little dizzy and turned on the water. Watching my blood mix with the water was like watching a battle, clear verses red. Good versus Evil... evil won. Soon the bath was full of red, bloody water. The smell of blood the color of that shade of red, but the smell of that smell! I couldn't stop myself re-grabbing the knife, stopping the water and spilling more of my blood.

That's when it hit me... it was so quick.
The sudden shock of withering pain, the crushing dizziness, the completely blackness. Numb.

And here we are looking down at my dead body. Oh No! Arthurs back! I can't watch this! I just heard his voice, his sweet happy voice calling me... then the confused one... calling my name again. I can hear my video playing and the drop of the camcorder! DONT MAKE ME WATCH! ... He burst through the door... and the shock and horror and hurt on the voice drive me insane! ARTUHR! I cried, before I faded away.