I do not own any of the characters in this story, I have only borrowed them for my own purposes (but I am not telling you what they are…. You can't make me!)
Lavender Browns Complete Guide to Getting and Keeping your Man!
Chapter One
A Pleasant Suggestion?
Ginny sat on her four poster bed scribbling in her diary. She knew that she would be okay with this one for two reasons; the first was that it was a present from Harry and the second; it had not once given its opinion on her teenager ramblings. She glanced up to see her roommates bustling here and there unpacking and organizing themselves for another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
She always seemed to finish her unpacking first as it only consisted of placing her toiletry bag at the top of her trunk for easy access. None of her clothes were what you would call delicate. Ginny was a firm believer in jeans and t-shirts, they were easy to pack, they go with anything and wrinkles only make them look better.
A loud squeal got her attention and dragging her eyes from the last entry in her diary she spotted the source of the ear piercing disruption. "Ginny" said the walking perfection also known as Lavender Brown.
Ginny looked around the room and over her shoulder, sure that there was another girl present that must have shared her name. She smiled all be it skeptically and greeted the grinning peacock politely. "Well hello there Lavender, so….. ummm, nice to see you. How was your summer?" this question was issued in a tone of voice used when one does not really care for the answer.
"My summer was rather wonderful actually, I heard you had a good one yourself"she said with a knowing look in her eyes.
'What was she on about' Ginny thought warily 'and do I really want to know the answer?' With that last thought, Ginny threw caution to the wind and gave into her curiosity once again (it was a curse). She tentatively answered "ummmm ya….. I guess nothing special."
Lavender seemed to float over to the bed and dramatically flop down beside the young red head. Brushing her hair over the side of her shoulders and pausing dramatically she announced to the room. "I heard you spent the entire summer cozying up in the company of our resident hero, THE Chosen one himself, our dear Mr. Harry Potter." She finished with a triumphant smile as the entire 5th year girls dorm went silent, all eyes burned into Ginny from every angle of the room.
Silently cursing under her breath and feeling the slow but familiar heat make its way up the column of her neck. Forcing herself not to blush she said as casually as she could muster to the entire occupants of the room. "Ya, he stayed at the Burrow, with my brother not with me.
Stunned silence seemed to spread around the room, some staring with jealousy and others with pity. Everyone knew of her 'little crush' on the raven haired seeker, even with her recent proclamation that she was in fact 'over' him.
Lavender asked the younger girl (only by one year) with extreme annoyance and disbelief clearly visible on her perfectly designed features. "Are you to tell me that you had him exclusively to your self all summer and you didn't turn his head? Oh Ginny I am disappointed in you, I thought you were more advanced then this."
Ginny just stared at the far right corner of the room hoping that with her silence and reluctance to continue with this ridiculous conversation, Lavender might get the hint and back off. This was not to be.
"I came in here with the intention to help you, as a friend". This started Ginny's blood boiling, since when was she and Lavender friends? However, the young girl was too busy checking her reflection in the mirror near by to notice the daggers coming from Ginny's side of the bed.
Lavender continued in that sticky sweet voice as she glanced around at the adoring faces of the other girls in the dorm. "My only wish was to help you KEEP your man, but alas, it seems you haven't even caught him as yet!" Her eyes flashed with exasperation as she directed her comments to the young and very angry witch in front of her.
With another flick of her hair she sprang to her feet and with a triumphant smile she said "Well, I guess we can start from the beginning then, we sure do have our work cut out for us! But never fear Ginny, I will help you get your man!" The rest of the room broke out in applause at the unselfishness of such an offer, all wishing they could be in Ginny's shoes right now.
Fear was exactly what was running through Ginny's mind at the very thought of this overly primped princess interfering in her affairs, of any kind! Yes, fear and the ever present and growing murderous tendencies that she was feeling towards the interfering cow. Ginny new she had better remove herself from the scene before things got much worse.
Suddenly the room was buzzing with gossip. Imagine, "The" great Lavender Brown, Queen Bee of the gossip mongers and number one witch on the boys "I'd do her" hit list was going to "help" poor little Ginny Weasley learn what it was to be a girl.
The subject in question however had other plans and although temporarily dumb founded and left speechless by the recent events, she could only sit gapping at the pretty girl in front of her. This girl that was to be her teacher and mentor in love was completely out of her mind! Rolling her eyes at the sheer idiocy of the situation she took a deep breath to try and take some control back regarding her future with or without Harry James Potter.
Firmly and strongly she caught the eye of the beaming girl who was so obviously awaiting the praise and thanks that was sure to come from the over whelmed younger (but only by a year) red headed witch. "Lavender, well what I mean to say, thanks for the support but I really don't think that is will be necessary." Ginny finished her rejection of the girls offer carefully by adding "Harry has known of my existence going on five years now, so if he was EVER going to be interested, I'm sure it would have happened by now." Ginny swallowed down the disappointment she felt with actually saying those words out loud, it was like banging the last nail in the coffin of her childhood fantasies, hope and dream and finally barring them forever.
A hush swallowed the room as all eyes turned to Lavender in hopes she would share her wisdom with her adoring fans. With all the occupants of the room, bar one, hanging on her every word the young beauty queen beamed triumphantly at her would be student of seduction. "Well, you see Ginny" said Miss Brown with a grin resembling the cat that ate the canary cream. "That has been your problem all along in a nut shell. If you follow my advice I can guarantee that you will get your man, and keep him for good!"
An audible gasp went around the room, not unlike "the wave" you see break out during those muggle sports games.
All eyes were on the sheet of parchment as they followed its progress from the confident Miss Brown into the hands of the cautious Miss Weasley. Slowly and with trepid fingers Ginny took the parchment that was presented to her with much pomp and circumstance you might have thought it was the piece treaty between Moldy Shorts and Dumbledore themselves.
Her curious eyes (I told you it was a curse) scanned the parchment thoroughly, widening with what some thought must be admiration and gratitude but was in fact brimming with disgust. Unable to find the words once again and forcing the bile down her throat she raised her unbelieving eyes to meet the other girls triumphant ones.
The parchment floated out of Ginny's hands, landing softly onto her bed. The other girls in the room broke the deathly silence as they gathered around the bed to read the words so eloquently written, each knowing this would be the key to a happy ever after in the fairy tales that lived in their minds and hearts.
Lavender Browns Complete Guide to Getting and Keeping your Man!
Top 10 things you need to know,
to ensure favorable results.
Outward Appearance, Part One. Hair and Makeup tips and recommendations
Outward Appearance, Part Two. Suitable and Stylish Fashions for the everyday seduction.
Knowing your target. The must know facts in altering your self to fit his needs.
Attention Seeking, how to flirt with favorable results.
Gifts that will show him you care.
The secrets to keeping you in his mind and dreams.
How to act like the Lady you wish you were.
Helping your man with his delicate ego.
Public Displays of Affection (PDA) are not just for entertainment and his enjoyment.
Keeping the home fires burning.
While the occupants of the girls 5th year dorm were in an uproar over the secrets revealed guaranteeing what they saw as their future happiness. Ginny quietly vacated the room in search for the one sane girl, other then herself, she knew. Hermione Granger sat in the common room going over her schedule and planning for this coming years revisions, although how you can revise subjects you haven't yet started was beyond Ginny's reach.
"Oh my God, you will never guess what just happened!" she said as she dropped down onto the crimson couch beside the pretty, bushy haired brunette.
Placing her quill at the side of her lips she replied "Crabbe finally declared his undying love for Gole?" and with a slight smirk gracing her lovely features she turned with dancing eyes to evaluate her friends reaction to her most uncharacteristic response.
Ginny snorted with surprise and at her friends uncanny way of making her feel better, even when she herself did not know she was in need of cheering up. "Wow Hermione, what with your new found sense of humor and the "secrets revealed" to the 5th year girls, this year is sure to be an interesting one!"
She smiled at her friend's bewildered look and further explained the recent events to a shocked Hermione. Ginny went into detail starting with the dramatic entrance of one Lavender Brown all the way to her own un-noticed, almost stealth like exit from the den of determined young females.
Hermione's mouth dropped further and further until her jaw actually ached from the length of it. "I hope you don't plan on taking her ridiculous advise Ginny!" she said while evaluating her friends features, searching for any hidden clues and signs to the young girls true assessment of the strange offer that had been bestowed onto her earlier that evening.
"Of coarse not!" Ginny exploded indignantly. "I told you I was done waiting for him. I have a life to live! If he is only a part of it as a friend then, so be it!" She said fiercely, eyes flashing with aggravation at once again having to defend her feelings for the young raven haired heart throb that has haunted her dreams.
Nodding her head in agreement, she patted her friends knee "glad to hear it!" Then with a slow smile spreading across her face and a twinkle in her eye that could only be described as 'evil' she asked innocently. "So, do you think we should warn Harry or sit back and watch the fun?"
Ginny smiled her own mischievous grin and replied just as sweetly, "oh I think a bit of entertainment might be exactly what this year needs!"
The two friends then proceeded to laugh maliciously, there good moods and hearty laughter only increasing at the puzzled looks on the two boys that had just entered the Gryffindor common room.
A very handsome raven haired magical young man with glittering emerald green eyes stood along side his best mate, a tall boyishly attractive young red headed wizard with sparkling blue eyes. They were both watching the two oddly enchanting witches, currently collapsing upon themselves with laughter, on the comfortable crimson couch in front of the fire. When the giggling girls had finally acknowledged the young wizards company, it only seemed to send them into a higher euphoria of laugher.
Shaking their heads in bewilderment, with a look that passed between the two friends that clearly but silently stated that they would never understand girls as long as they may live. With a shrug of their shoulders they made the way up to the sanctuary of the 6th year boys dorm room, were sanity and reason were sure to greet them. Along with the odd dirty joke and foul smelling odor that was just part of the wonderment of the male gender.
Yes, this year's comings and goings in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would hold many surprises, more then the four friends or even Professor Trelawney for that matter could have ever foreseen.
I Hope you enjoyed the opening chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it. Fingers crossed that the rest of the story will turn out as well. Please review. Thanks.