Warning: This has illness in it. If this offends some of you, I apologize. Offending you is not my intention at all.
NOTE: I ONLY HAVE LIMITED KNOWLEDGE ABOUT ILLNESSES, HOW THEY TREAT THEM, HOW HOSPITALS WORK, ET CETERRA. EVERYTHING IN THIS FIC HAS BEEN RESEARCHED, AND EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR SOME, IT IS THE BEST I COULD DO.
Please read note at the end.
"You and me… it's just not working. I'm so sorry."
She closes her eyes as she tries to sink in deeper down her lumpy pillows. She wants nothing more than the guilt to end, the guilt that is just eating her up. Unfortunately, her shame just keeps growing, manifesting within her that always leads to her chest feeling heavy and almost unbearable.
She knows she was harsh when she said those words. She could have supplied an explanation at the least, but she couldn't at the time. She wanted a clean break; an explanation would have doubled or even tripled the questions. But that wasn't it, was it? She was incapacitated by her own emotions. She couldn't even get out the apology well enough without biting back the cry or holding back the tears. She was being held by the throat as she choked on her own heart when watched those eyes go from concerned, to impassive, to anger, to detachment.
She doesn't even realize she is silently crying until she feels the hot tears slide down to the side of her face and into her ears. She shakes her head slightly as she swipes her unbandaged hand to her face, clearing it of tears. She makes a face when her hand accidentally moves the cannula that was in her nose that she had to adjust it again.
She doesn't want to think about it. She pushes the thought to the deepest recesses of her mind, hoping it would stay put until… until much, much later.
She doesn't want to deal with that for a while.
"I want frozen yogurt," she blurts out, suddenly craving for the cold treat.
The nurse, who is attending to her as she injected her vitamins into her IV, looks at her almost sympathetically, masked by a thin veil of indifference.
"Sorry, hun. You can't have it until tomorrow. At the most, I can give you some more ice chips, but only a spoonful."
She sighs. More ice chips. She misses the taste of actual food and regular bottled water, not the crap health food they want her to eat or the dang ice chips. She would kill for a cheeseburger and some fries right about now, but apparently, those aren't exactly healthy food. So she is stuck with the crap hospital-issued food and ice chips, and if she is really lucky, the occasional frozen yogurt, though the frozen yogurt they give her is nowhere near as delicious as the one she used to eat.
She nods slightly at the nurse's offer. Anything is better than nothing, after all. The nurse sends her a practiced yet gentle smile as she puts down the syringe she is finally done with. She picks up a cup filled with the ice, scoops out a spoonful (which really isn't much because it's only a small plastic spoon) and feeds her with it.
She gratefully takes it, letting the ice melt in her mouth before swallowing it.
"Thanks," she says, grimacing ever so slightly at the chill from the ice.
The nurse hums a "you're welcome" to her before wheeling out of the room, the door closing behind her.
It's already five in the afternoon. Visiting hours are ending by six thirty. Cat should have been here an hour ago.
You see, the perky redhead is the only one in their social group who knows why she left Hollywood Arts… or why she just dropped the surface off the earth completely (She halted all communication with her friends as soon as the pain got worst, which was two months before graduation). Cat only found out because she found her having a seizure at a park. To say Cat was freaking out is an understatement, but since that day, she swore to not tell their other friends and that she would visit her every single day.
At the moment, she was bothered by it. She didn't want any of her friends to know about it. That was why she deactivated her Twitter, FaceBook, Instagram and TheSlap accounts. But after a few weeks, she slowly warmed up to the ditzy girl, loving the girl more and more like a little sister by her puerile antiques and innocent little presents.
"I come bearing gifts!" She hears someone say, effectively bringing her out of her reverie.
"Hey, Cat," she greets the redhead, who doesn't hesitate to make her way to her bed. "You're late."
"Hey, Tor," she says back, ignoring that last bit, but the smile she has looks force, which is strange. Cat never forces a smile, even when she's acting on stage, the smile she puts on is always natural.
She slightly gasps. Is this is then? Has Cat finally broken the barrier between the I'm-just-visiting-for-fun to I'm-visiting-because-I-feel-sorry-for-you? She hopes to God not.
"Here," Cat says, offering a pink giraffe to her that resembled to a certain purple giraffe called Mr. Long Neck.
"Thanks, Cat," she says, taking the giraffe gratefully, wanting her hands to grasp at something other than the sterile sheets. "So, how were rehearsals?" She asks, making conversation.
You see, Cat has a heavy passion for acting and singing that the best way to showcase that passion is on stage. She was given that chance - a big chance! - to star in an all-original production on Broadway, no less!
But she turned it down. She turned them all down because of three reasons: one, because of her; two, because of Patty the squirrel from the park (don't ask); and three, because she loved L.A. too much that she would get so homesick (and helplessly and hopelessly lost) the minute she takes one step into New York.
She snaps herself out of her thoughts as she watches the redhead. Then the oddest thing happens. Cat frowns and shakes her head. Had something gone wrong at her first onstage rehearsal?
Before she has the chance to ask what seems to be bothering the redhead, Cat says, "I'm so sorry, Tori."
Her earlier suspicions have been confirmed. Cat only visited because she felt sorry for her.
Through gritted teeth, she asks, "And what are you sorry for?"
Cat has her wide brown eyes even wider, tears oozing out of the corners. "I didn't mean to!" She says, shocking her. What didn't she mean to do? Feel sorry for her? Last time she checked, you can't be sorry for feeling sorry.
Cat continues to whimper. "She was yelling and I didn't have a choice so I-I–"
"OUT OF MY WAY!" Someone yells from outside her room.
Her heart stutters.
The door opens.
"Tori…" the voice pierces the room with a sharpness that may as well have stabbed her right in her chest, straight into her heart.
She sighs. "Hello, Jade."
How was it? Awful? Good? Decent? Well, whatever it is you're feeling you can tell me by dropping a review! Reviews do help me steer clear of mistakes or bad plot lines.
THIS IS A JORI STORY OKAY? I just wanted to make that clear.
This isn't going to be a long one though. Maybe three chapter? At the most, it could be a five-chapter story. But for now, I'm leaving it as a one-shot because I haven't decided it's fate yet. Do YOU want me to continue this? Say so in the reviews.
Also, I recommend reading Try Again Tomorrow by ElisaCollette. It is the inspiration for this fic and also the first ever fanfic I have ever read (Yes, I just discovered fanfiction in 2012. No, please don't judge me). It's not a Jori romance story, it's a Jori friendship fanfic, and it is just spectacular. Seriously guys. The author is lovely and talented. I don't even know how many times I have read the whole series. It's just... amazing and I'm rambling.
Sorry. I tend to do that.
Anyway...
On a side note:
Do you have an idea for a fic? Well, you're in luck because I do prompts! More info on my profile/bio.
Do NOT send me a fic suggestion/prompt through reviews. All prompts in reviews will be ignored. Reviews are meant to comment about the author's work, so let us leave it at that.