Walking down the corridor I heard a crash and low booming laughter. As I turned the corner I wasn't surprised to see Severus Snape lying on the floor with James Potter towering over him. Behind, Remus Lupin was shaking his head and stifling his chuckles whilst Sirius Black wiped his face, recovering from hysterical laughter that still echoed down the corridor. Snape's potions books were sprawled across the floor, dripping in an azure liquid that swam around him. His cheeks were covered by greasy black hair that only revealed his reddening hooked nose.
"What's the matter, did you smash your chemistry set as you fell on your fat arse?" James challenged Snape, whilst running a hand through his scruffy black hair.
Enough. I couldn't stand it, hearing James talk to him like that. Once again anger erupted in my chest and before I could stop myself I was standing between Snape and James. I glanced around to find that everyone had stopped to stare at me. Anticipation and excitement was written across the faces of my eager audience as though I was a bull in a ring. Rolling my eyes, I turned to James, determined stand up to him.
"Enough James! How can you laugh at this?" My attempt to intimidate was undermined by my wavering voice, but it was too late to back down so I pressed on. "This is his life, James. You're ridiculous – all of you! It is not funny"
Too embarrassed to look James in the eye, I bent down and resorted to wiping the blue liquid off Severus' books with my robes.
"Actually…"James amplified his voice, clearly enjoying the presence of an audience "It is funny Evans. If you'd brighten up a little, you'd see the funny side" He patted my head in what he thought was a flirtatious way. I however interpreted it as condescending and overall irritating. I ducked my head out the way and continued to wipe the sodden book on my robes, although I seemed to be doing more harm than good and my robes had been ruined beyond repair. "Why are you helping him anyway?" he continued, his nose screwed up in incomprehension and disgust.
The circle around us had closed in further as everyone had edged forwards in order to overhear yet another of our arguments.
Ignoring James' comment, I turned to his more rational friend whom I respected "Remus, I thought being a prefect meant you'd put a stop to this. At least make him apologi-"
"I don't want an apology from him!" Snape piped up, his jet black eyes watering with fury as he snatched his books off me and dried them with the swish of his wand.
I felt as though I'd been hit with a stunning curse, I could feel my cheeks reddening in response to the gasps from the audience. Snape, who I'd been fighting for, had turned against me. Luckily, before Sirius could attack Snape with another jinx, the clipping heels of Professor Mcgonagall could be heard down the corridor and everyone sprung back into normality. Everyone except me. I couldn't bring myself to stand up. I was weighed down by the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked up to the stone ceiling in attempt to block my tears from falling. Humiliation had left its red stain over my face that burnt my cheeks. Slowly I rose to my feet and smoothed down my robes, desperately trying to maintain some dignity. I looked down at my timetable, but I my eyes filled with tears and all my lessons were a blur. From the corner of my drowning eyes, I saw a sly girl from Slytherin snicker at me and all my calmness vanished. Anger rushed through me and I immediately turned back on myself, quickening my pace at the sight of Snape's jet black hair down the corridor.
"Severus Stop!" I cried whilst scrambling through the crowd, keeping my eyes fixed on the black hair turning the corner. I knew I was faster than him; it was only a matter of time before I caught up. When he was just a few yards from me I shouted again, "Severus! I need to talk to you! STOP RUNNING YOU COWARD!" I regretted it as soon as it escaped my mouth. There was nothing I could do to take it back, I could not swallow it or grasp it or go back and change it.
Severus Snape may be cold and seemingly heartless; he was an outcast, a loner, an outsider. I've watched his lips curl into a cruel smile, watching his hexes and jinxes hit his enemies, I've witnessed the smugness on his face as he catches classmates red-handed. I've sat by and watched as the glisten has faded from his empty black eyes over the years, empty with no end. But despite all things, Severus was not a coward.
My words lingered in the air between us, expanding and creating a fatal silence. He turned around and glared at me, nothing but hate in his coal black eyes that reflected my desperate and guilty face.
"I'm sorry, I-" I didn't know what to say, guilt had rippled through me conflicting with the anger that had sparked from his betrayal. My desperate expression moulded into a frown as I remembered why I was here. "You betrayed me! I was standing up for you and you humiliated me"
"You were humiliated?" He demanded, fury making his hands shake. His face twisted into an ugly expression and he added mockingly "Well poor Lily Evans, I can't possibly imagine what that feels like."
"Stop that!" I couldn't bear to listen to him mock me; I would not accept that he hated me. "Don't you see that I was trying to help you?"
He exhaled, shaking his head and replied calmer than before "You can't help me Lily." A sense of defeat washed over his face, and I saw the true Severus. He was no longer masked by hatred or disgust and for the first time I saw stark pain and vulnerability in his eyes. Realisation swept through me: he was completely alone.
"I am your friend Severus" I spoke slowly, and placed my hands on his. "I'm here for you."
"Friend?" He erupted as his released my hands "I'm not your friend Lily, and you know it"
"No, severus….please-"
"-Stop that." He spat "Who would want to be my friend Lily? Look at me." He stared deep into my eyes, I stared back, as if we were both searching for the friend we knew the summer before Hogwarts. How could so much have changed?
I cared for him, and I knew that the empty hole in the pit of my stomach would not close until made this right.
I held his hands once again, his eyes closed at my touch. "I'm here Sev, you're my friend."
"Friend." He grumbled almost unintelligibly, the permanent crease between his eyebrows deepened and he stared down at the ground, refusing to meet my gaze.
If I didn't leave soon, I'd be late for Transfiguration and I couldn't bear walking in after everyone has already settled down, especially after what happened in the corridor.
"I'm here for you Sev. See you later" I promised and patted his hand once more before standing up. As I turned the corner I heard him whisper three distinct syllables. I froze where I was, refusing to let them sink in. Instead, I pushed them to the back of my mind as I leant on the wall seconds away from him. I buried my face in my hands and resisted sliding to the floor as the empty pain in my stomach returned. From round the corner, the soft sound of weeping filled my ears. He was crying – I had made him cry.
There I stood desperately trying to clear my mind and walk away, but all that was running through my mind were Snape's words.
"I love you."