Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei does, which makes him a lucky bastard.
Rating: T for swearing and way too much crack
Pairing: Gamabunta/Inari
WARNING: This fic is so AU and crackish, you'll be wondering by the end of it what the hell I was on. Well, I'm not on anything, but I'm still wondering where it REALLY came from.
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Princess Gillagin (1)….. Sorry, Inari…… was dancing around her very larger backyard of her not so large palace. With her were is two flamboutinly gay half cousins, Naruto and Sasuke and their husbands; Norman (2) (Naruto's husband) and Kimimaro's father, Billy (Sasuke's husband). They were all have a good old jolly time until Inari realized that she did not have a soul mate like her gay cousin. She told this to them and they gasped.
"Why, but Princess Inari! You must have one soon! Your seventh birthday is coming up, which means you need to marry someone that is over the age of thirty or if they look thirty." Naruto exclaimed.
"I know, my gayful cousin, but no man or woman has hit on me yet!" The princess cried back.
"Well! This just
isn't right!" Sasuke said. "In the country of Pedophilio, one
must marry by the age of seven to someone over thirty, or at least
start dating than. I mean, look at fair Naruto and I! We are merely
thirteen years of age and we have our soul mates."
"I know,
and I smile upon you. Now, I shall travel this backyard for my
husband! Wish me luck!"
The princess and her cousin's embraced at that moment, then Inari went off on her journey, while the four 'men' started a foursome.
At the start of her journey, Inari soon found a small black bird named Sai. She knew this bird very well. Inari could talk to the bird, for she had started Disney princess school with her best friend Juugo (3). Anyway, Sai the bird smiled at Inari.
"Why, where is the lovely blond with the penis?" He asked.
"Oh, I don't know. Somewhere back there," Inari replied, pointing towards the foursome.
"Oh well." Sai said, sighing. "Now tell me fair maiden, what brings you so far into this backyard?"
"I'm looking for my
husband!"
"Ah, what an interesting adventure! May I join you?"
Sai asked.
"Yes! It's always more when with others!" Inaris said, smiling her largest smile. Sai hoped onto her shoulder and the two went off down the yard.
As time went on, more and more people joined the duo. Zetsu, the walking dandelion, Suigetsu the flying fish and Deidara the humming kitten. The five of them were very happy with the group and were very optimistic about Inari's future husband.
"So, hummmmmm, what is he going to be like, hummmmm?" Deidara hummed while try to bite Suigetsu's tail.
"Well…. old, very
very old, of course." Inari said, while everyone nodded in
agreement. "King, gentle, and magical!"
"Oh, I can't wait
to find out who you'll pick!" Suigetsu said, flying around with
Sai.
"Neither can I, nom nom." Said Zetsu.
The five continued on their journey till they came to a pond where a toad laid on the side.
"Why, ugly toad! Why are you beside your home and not in it!" Inari said, kneeling beside it.
"Because, fair maiden, I'm not really a toad. I'm the fair Duke Gamabunta, of Oil land. But a cruel fate has been set upon me. You see, this wicked snaked devil, Orochimaru, turned me into a toad because I was far more beautiful than he. Now I live by this pond till the day my true love kisses me and I'm returned to my normal state!" Gamabunta explained.
"Why, I'll be your true love… but first, tell me your age." The princess said.
"Why, I'm
fifty-three years old."
"All right tha! I can be your true
love." Inari said, smiling. She bent down and kissed the toad on
his warty lips and then there was a poof of smoke. Once everyone had
finished coughing, and the smoke had cleared, Inari set eyes on a
tall, borwn haired, beautiful man. "Why! You are beautiful! Will
you be my husband?"
"Why, yes, I think I shall. Come now, fair
Inari! Let us going back to your palace and marry!"
Then the duo
ran back to the palace to announce their wedding.
THE END!
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(1) For those who have seen Naruto: the Abridged Series, you'll understand this. If not, GO WATCH IT!
(2) Norman is this random 34 year old ninja who took the Cuunin exam that no one can remember the name of, thus, is called Norman.
(3) Juugo is a Disney princess, come on people.. Where have you been!?
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Okay. This is a crack fic. I wrote this because I was bored and thought it would be funny. I don't mean to offend anyone at all. I also don't want any flaming at all either. It's not apperciated here. So please, R&R.
