Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men.
K, this fic is based on Uncanny X-men, "The Nature of Evil," # 326. Everything taken straight from the comic is in quotes, so I'm not stealing anything. (But that doesn't mean that everything in quotes is from the comic, got that? Good. Because I wrote a lot too.)
Painful Past
Sabretooth prowled around the paradise constructed for him in the X-Men's Danger Room. He had come to them for help after Wolverine had stabbed him through the brain with an adamantium claw. Now they were trying to save him. They wanted to curb his homicidal urges. To change him from the killer he was born to be. He watched a holographic rabbit hop away from him. He instinctively followed it before hearing pounding on reinforced glass behind him. He turned to see a blonde girl staring at him, pounding her fists on the glass. "Move already!" she shouted, then watched him with a sad expression. He ambled over to her and grinned. "Man, Victor… What are you thinking? You're locked in the Danger Room – the entire environment is fake – designed to keep you mellow. So why are you acting like… some caged animal?" She sighed and watched him through the glass, staring dumbly at her like a gorilla. She looked into his eyes and doubted. *Click* and the window disappeared behind a metal door. She left the room in tears, not knowing what to think.
Sabretooth left the window, confused. This girl came and watched him every day. Peering in, writing notes down. He didn't like being in here. It was nice, to be truthful, but he knew it was a cage. He had always been animalistic in many ways, and fear of cages came along with the territory. But suddenly the holographic paradise disappeared and he heard a padded landing behind him. He whirled to see a tall man with red eyes staring at him determinedly. He carried a long bo staff and wore a funny costume colored pink and black. Suddenly the man started speaking to him:
"So, I'm up on de roof t'inkin' 'bout guys like you an' me, tryin' to escape our past. You 'member me Creed?"
"LeBeau? You're called… Gam-bit…"
"Dat's right mon ami. Let's see how much you 'member 'bout your life before Wolverine poked around inside your head."
The agile Cajun approached Sabretooth, who backed off with wide-eyes.
"You're… You're an X-Man. I came to the X-man for help. Are you going to help me?" Sabretooth asked hopefully.
"For a guy with a hole in his head you're 'membering a lot, Creed. Now Tell me," Gambit took out a small remote control and clicked a button. An old man dressed in a nice suit stood before Victor and reached a hand out. "Do you 'member dis man? Doctor Eiger Harnerst?"
Sabretooth looked at the holographic man with a puzzled expression. His eyebrows furrowed as he said, "Should I?"
The old man spoke up. "According to Xavier's files, I was your first official kill. At the time of my murder I was your pediatrician. You were nine years old. I died trying to help you.
Sabretooth lowered his head. His expression turned to sorrow as he said slowly, "I… am sorry."
Gambit laughed harshly. "Cold comfort." He clicked on the remote again and this time three Canadian officers appeared next to the doctor. "How 'bout dese men? Officers Jenson, Peirot, and Campagnizzi. They were Saskatchewan Provincial Police."
The man in the middle started to talk to Victor. "We were all killed in the line of duty. You were on a killer rampage across three provinces. You were only thirteen."
Sabretooth stared at the men helplessly. He wanted to help, but he knew it was futile.
*Click* and a woman holding a baby appeared. Creed vaguely remembered them as she started to speak. "Do you remember us, Victor? Millie and Liza Upjohn. You said you were lost and hungry. You were only a boy, so I let you in. I opened my house to you, giving you everything you needed. I thought you were a runaway, and I called around, hoping to find your parents. The next morning, my child found my body on the kitchen floor. She was never the same after that."
*Click* and another woman appeared. Creed didn't remember her, but she obviously remembered him. "My name is Alexis Conklin. I was asleep in the middle of the night. I left my window open and you climbed in. I never did anything to you, yet you murdered me that night without second thought."
Sabretooth backed away from the new holograms that kept appearing. Voices swam around his head. "I had my whole life in front of me." "I had a family that loved me." "I had a reason to live." "What did I do that was so bad?" "You killed me for what? Fun?" "Why?" "I trusted you." "I wanted to help you." Sabretooth growled and tried to escape the haunting memories. Suddenly he couldn't take it any more. He launched himself at one of his victims and swiped through them. His claws passed through the hologram harmlessly and he yelled, "Stop it! Why are you doing this to me?" He turned to Gambit, rage and anguish on his face. He didn't mean to… It wasn't his fault. He was a different person then. He wasn't the same.
"I'm doing this because I want you to remember, Creed. Every victim. Every fatal blow. When you go t'sleep at night I want y't'see every face. The faces of those you murdered heartlessly. I want them t'haunt your dreams so dat when y'wake up y'have t'retch from de bitter taste of dere blood on your tongue. Whether your eyes are open or closed, I want you t'recall every life you shattered. All de ones you killed, and de ones who died because of you!"
Suddenly the holographic images disappeared and Sabretooth was left to face a pretty blonde girl standing quietly in front of him. "Hey, boss. How's it going?"
"Birdie!" Sabretooth reached out a tentative hand to touch her cheek. She didn't move, and he clutched at false hope.
He touched her cheek but another *Click* and his hand passed through her. "Birdie?" he questioned, trying to grasp her but she stayed intangible.
"She's gone, Creed! DEAD. MURDERED. You killed her. Ripped her apart like the animal you are. She's lost forever – just like every other soul unfortunate enough to cross you path!" Gambit shouted at him, fury pulsing through his veins. "And dat don't even COUNT de Morlocks you slaughtered! Every one of dem," Gambit didn't stop there, the guilt was heavy on his shoulders, "And I HELPED you, I'm no better than you are. But at least I atone for my sins. I feel the guilt on my shoulders. You," he spat, glaring at Victor with blood red eyes, "You… you don't even care for the helpless people you kill. You murder them without second thought, without blinking at the worlds you shatter and the pain you cause."
Sabretooth was blinded in an overwhelming wave of rage as he leapt at Gambit. But a kinetically charged card hit him square in the chest and he flew backwards, hitting the ground with a loud thud. Gambit walked over to him and stood, leering over him with his demon eyes.
"Your mem'ry seems t'be getting' better by de minute, Creed. Now let's continue. Does dis seem familiar to you?" Sabretooth watched in horror as he saw himself appear on the top of a skyscraper, holding a man and woman bound together over the edge.
"I'm sorry, but they're… tied up at the moment, kid," the holographic Sabretooth said grinning, blood dripping from his mouth.
"Henri? Genevieve? Mon Dieu! What are y'doin'?" a young Gambit shouted to Sabretooth, who was now laughing evilly.
"Get up here now or they both drop! You know what I want. Give me the jewel."
"This was in… Paris. You was a pup…" Sabretooth remembered.
"Put dem down first!"
"Ha, kid, make me. Here's an idea. You choose which one comes down first." Sabretooth grinned wickedly at a stricken Gambit.
"Choose between my brother and the woman dat loves me?" Gambit stopped, the pain and anguish obvious in his eyes. He had to make a choice, quickly. "Henri, y'come t'me first."
Sabretooth untied Henri and threw him over to Gambit, who helped him up. Then when Gambit was sure Henri was all right, he turned to receive Genevieve. "Ok give me de girl now." He reached out for her.
"Oops," Sabretooth said, and dropped her. She fell down to her death on the pavement far below.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the holographic Gambit yelled, reaching out for her, but it was too late.
"That… That wasn't me. I was a different person then," Sabretooth quivered, backing off from the haunting scene.
"It was you Creed! Don't you dare deny it! Computer, loop program." Gambit glared at Sabretooth as the scene replayed. Sabretooth covered his eyes with his hands, trying to escape. But the tortured screams and yells found a way into his mind, driving him insane.
"But…Why?" Sabretooth whimpered, "They were…helpless…"
Gambit was now fierce as he raged, "Mon Dieu man! You're a mutant wit de power to tear flesh and crush bones wit your teeth and claws! Dey were all helpless! Look at dem all. All de people you killed. Y'came to de X-men for help. Yet all de people who tried t'help y'before… where are dey now?" Sabretooth shook his head, trying to get them out of his mind. "They're dead, Creed. All of dem!"
"Oops," repeated the holographic Sabretooth as the morbid scene replayed over and over again. Sabretooth turned and tried to hide from it. Hide from the pain he'd caused. For the first time in his long life, he felt the guilt course through him unbearably. He scooted away, trying to distance himself from it all.
"Don't you dare turn away, Creed! Y'think your victims could turn away when you ripped them apart?! Dey didn't have a choice! And neither should you! You can't forget dem, Creed. People like us ain't allowed t'forget! We have t'atone for our sins!" Gambit held Sabretooth in a tight headlock, forcing him to watch the scene replay. Sabretooth wasn't the only one in pain. Gambit remembered the scene all too well. And he felt somehow responsible for Genevieve's death. Even though he knew there was nothing he could do, he felt the guilt. But it wasn't even comparable to the shame he felt over the Morlock Massacre. And the man largely responsible for the bloodbath kneeled before him. Trembling at the pain he'd caused. Hundreds of innocent people trying to live out their lives in peace slaughtered. Gambit couldn't stand knowing that Sabretooth felt nothing while his own life was burdened down with remorse every waking hour.
"Oops."
Gambit didn't know what he was doing. All he knew was that he wanted Creed to remember. And to repent. Repent for every crime and every kill. To feel the agonizing torture of guilt every hour of the day. To haunt his mind during the day and to fill his dreams at night. Gambit somehow thought that his time with the X-men had somehow partially washed him of his sins. But now he knew he was wrong, Sabretooth's presence reminded him. He was living proof of Gambit's deepest shame.
Suddenly Gambit heard buttons clicking behind him and the hologram disappeared. He turned to see Storm standing in the doorway, her expression furious.
"By the Goddess, what do you think you're doing, Gambit? I don't know what you were trying to accomplish. But I'm sure there are other ways of achieving it. That is certainly more than enough and I know that Xavier would not approve of your behavior."
"Dis don't concern you."
"You're very wrong. This does concern me. And all of the X-men. Victor came to us for help. You cannot treat him like a criminal as long as he is in our care."
"He is a criminal, chere."
"Perhaps. But he is our patient and he deserves help."
"I am helping him."
"No you aren't. Please go, Gambit."
Gambit glowered at her before stomping out of the Danger Room. His whole frame radiated dangerous fury. Sabretooth just looked up at Storm with a pained look on his face. And for once, Storm pitied him. Pitied him because he didn't know better. He couldn't help the murders. It came with the mutation he was cursed with. Yet she couldn't forgive him. Even knowing it wasn't entirely his fault, she couldn't forgive him. She too, remembered the Morlock Massacre. The people she had once led, killed mercilessly. The people she cared for, the people who she had fought so hard to protect, slaughtered. And one of the murderers stood curled up before her… and yet she pitied him. The world worked in mysterious ways. She clicked another button and a cage popped up around Sabretooth. He wrapped himself up in the middle, trying to drive the screams out of his head.
"Oops."