A/N: Hey people I decided to do a Bobby's POV of Not Alone (Alex's POV), just so you can see what he was thinking the whole time. I will try and make this interesting as possible, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! I have no idea who Francis Goren doctor is so I made him up as well.
Disclaimer: Same old stuff, don't know 'em. Never will.
The Phone Call
Alex Eames, my partner and I were sitting at our desks when my desk phone rang.
"Detective Goren," I answered, professionally.
"Hey Bobby, this is Doctor Sheffield," the doctor answered, his voice seemed sad and worried.
"What happened?" I asked, putting my hands to my face. I knew this was about my mother; I closed my eyes and hoping he was calling about her getting better not worse.
"Bobby, she's dead," he answered.
"How?" I snapped, half mumbling, and focused my eyes to the desk. I could feel Alex's eyes on me. She must have seen I was agitated. I felt my tears filling my eyes but I held them back.
"I'm sorry, she killed herself," Sheffield answered, trying to sound professional. "She had a psychotic break that went too far. One of the nurses went to check on another patient when she was giving her lunch; she slid her throat with her knife. The nurse came too late, I'm sorry Bobby. You can't see the nurse, she's so sorry. She never meant it to happen," Sheffield told me, calmly.
"Why not?" I muttered angrily, almost yelling.
"I'm sorry, Bobby. You can collect her tomorrow," he told me and hung up. Anger filled my throat and I slammed my hand on the desk. I hung up the phone and avoided Alex's eyes from across the desk. I leaned back in my chair with an angry expression planted on my face.
"What's wrong," Alex asked softly. I suddenly realized she was there, I forgotten about her. I was so occupied about my mother I couldn't believe I thought I was somewhere else.
"Nothing," I answered, firmly and got up and walked towards the interrogation rooms. I could feel Alex's eyes on me as I left. I knew someone was in the first one so I quietly closed the door to the second one. My mother was dead, I couldn't believe it.
I unbuttoned my jacket and loosened my tie angrily; I knew I would never feel anything again.
She left me alone; I cared for her so much. I just wanted her to get better. Tears sprung to my eyes and leaned against the glass, my head leaning against my arm. How could she do this to me? What made her kill herself? I wondered, angrily.
Sobs escaped my dried up throat, my chest felt like someone squeezing it so hard I couldn't breath. It felt like a minute I was standing there sobbing and I moved to the walls. I felt angry then, so angry I started to punch the walls.
The more I punched the wall, the angrier I got. I stared at the glass, I felt someone watching me. I had a strong feeling Alex had found me. She always ended up finding me wherever I was, no matter where I went. I shook my head in frustration of thinking she would not want to see this ugly part of me.
I heard a knock at the door. I didn't speak or turn around. I knew who it was already "Bobby," Alex called out softly. Her sweet voice made me shiver. Maybe she did want to know what was happening to me. I could smell her perfume she always wore from the other side of the room; it made me feel a little better.
I heard her close the door, and I turned around to face her. I saw the sympathy in her eyes. I stared at her. She didn't speak. Maybe she didn't know what to say or how to say it. The last time she tried to talk something out of me I went ballistic at her. I didn't mean to but I was angry at myself not her, I will never be angry at her. It felt forever before I found my voice to tell her what was wrong.
"Dead," I told her, which was the only word that was on my mind at that moment. My voice came out flat, I felt like I was numb everywhere. She stared back at me and I saw the look in her eyes of realization. She knew exactly who I was talking about, I once told her about my mother in Carmel Ridge in a previous case.
"How?" she asked, I saw her give flinch when she asked. I realized she was cursing at herself for asking me the question. I stared at the wall opposite me for at least a minute before I answered. She did deserve to know; after all she was my partner, and my best friend.
"Suicide," I answered her, flatly, looking at the grey floor. The room went silent, and before I realized she came over and hugged me. Her body felt warm against mine. My tears started to slowly go away, maybe it was Alex making me feel alive. It must have been about five minutes before we broke apart; I never realized how warm her hugs could be. I gave her a weak smile. A lock of hair fell over her eyes and I slid it back behind her ear. She took a small step back. I felt hurt by her reaction and I turned to the glass. I felt her hand grab mine and I turned back to her.
"You're not alone," she told me and she squeezed my hand in reassurance. I squeezed her hand back in response. I pulled her closer without me realizing and my face was near hers. I felt her place her small hands on my shoulders.
"Without you I would be alone," I murmured in her ear. I felt her body shiver with a rush of emotion. I realized then, if she didn't come into my life. What would I be doing now? Would I be so angry I would run, just like my father? Or would I have calm down and try to figure out what to do on my own?
She saved me, although she would never realize it, but she saved me. She saved me from the horrors of my childhood and the horrors of my future. The horror of what I might become like my father, dead and drunk. The horror of losing her would be the last horror on my mind. I would die for her; just she could live a happier life. She had a family that loved her, a family that would do anything for her. I know I would never have the happiness she has had all her life. Just from the one phone call made me realize she would never leave me.
Fin
A/N: Hey people, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you think.