TheForbidden Feelings
Title: The Forbidden Feelings
Author: Mitsuko Chama
Email:
Rating: T
Genre: romance, angst, yaoi
Pairing: Kaname/Zero
Warnings: 1) I've seen only first season
2) My first yaoi fic
Summary: Kaname has a strange feeling deep inside. It troubles him every day. He wants to get rid of it, but he can't do it alone.
Author's Note: I like yaoi, but I never thought I would write it.
Disclaimer: you really think I would sit at home and write fics if VK belonged to me?
Kaname's POV
Damn it. I feel it every day, every hour, every minute, every SECOND! I feel… like I need someone. Someone who will help me, and who will accept me for who I am.
Yuuki? No. She sees in me only Kaname-sempai, who is strong and kind, but I am not like this. She needs protection, but not only she. I can't be next to her every time I want to. I can't be next to her at all.
I'm dangerous, I can save people, and I kill them. All the lives are in my arms. All destinies. All desires. I would control the world if I wasn't… so weak. Every vampire is afraid of me, because I'm pureblood. They just know my name, and start to think they know everything about me. But I also have problems, "friends", some matters to do.
Ruka… I have to admit she is cute. I would even say I like her, if there wasn't one circumstance. Just like others she can't see my true nature. She is in love with me, but she will hate me then. Because I don't need her. All I want, all I need is one-single person, who will save me from this hell.
Hell… I wonder if it really exists. We creature the hell ourselves, for us. The hell is what we are afraid of. But what? What is my fear? I'm pureblood vampire, I'm afraid of nothing! I am all mighty Kaname Kuran! Does everybody hear me? KANAME KURAN!
Whom I'm lying to? I'm afraid of loneliness. Of killing loneliness. Yes…
I always thought Yuuki could save me from it. She is kind, careful, beautiful. We helped each other, hoped…
Zero… who is he at all? Just a kid, who hates vampires… Hates… But why? Why he is so cruel to us? To ME? Because of foolish vampire-woman who killed his parents? I don't understand him – I always didn't like my own parents.
Zero… when we first met each other you acted like you hated me. But you were afraid… afraid… Yes-yes. You were afraid… but didn't understand. You hid all your feelings from Yuuki, Kaien-san… The fool poor child. I could help you, I can help you, I WANT to help you…
Zero's POV
Damn it. Whom I turned into? Into selfish boy who want to kill all vampires? Stupid childish dream… I became vampire… what can be worse? Sitting and thinking that everything is over… I tried, I failed… but I didn't give up… But now… what I can do now? Nothing. Why did I appear in this world? To be scoffed?
Yuuki… She is just a kid. Foolish kid who believes in kindness, peace and love. But maybe it's better to believe in love, that in hatred?
What should I do now? I could become E class vampire and be killed, but… why did Kaname decide to save me? He always hated me. Reciprocal hatred… funny. TOO funny.
Now I wonder if I really hated him. Why? When we met each other at first time… I acted so strange… like I was afraid… Afraid… of what? I was being afraid of seeing the truth. Yuuki was right – vampires can be different. But anyway they are vampires. My secret fear…
Will it be better if I kill myself? What the stupid idea?
Ops, I came across someone. Whoever was it, it was his/her fault. I
"Hey! Next time look where you're going!" said I. When I looked up, I saw him… Kaname Kuran… Damn it…
Kaname's POV
I just wanna go and fly… fly like a bird…
Damn it, I came across someone. Whoever was it, it was his/her fault.
"Hey! Next time look where you're going!" I heard. The familiar voice. Is that… Zero?
We are standing in the silence for a few moments, but then .. we start to kiss each other.
"What am I doing?" I thought. I don't like this little kid do I?
But at the same time… I am feeling like I'm on heavens. Is that what I was waiting for? What is it? Love? Need? Hatred? No matter…
When we stopped I said "I love you, Zero"
What I am doing? Love? Whom? Him? Yes…
This feeling in my chest… it disappeared… I felt calm…
Zero's POV.
We stood in the silence for a few moment – I didn't know what to say. Should I apologize? Or should I say rude things? What, what, what is happening now? We… started to kiss? What is it? Why I don't wanna defy? Defy… what? This peace in my heart? This warm feeling? It makes me calm…
When we stopped, Kaname, this bastard suddenly said "I love you, Zero" What??? What??? My ears are lying!!
"Me too" I said. What? I said it… what is it? Why I want to stay with that vampire?
They went together…
They loved each other…