Note: I've never written a ship for two women before, but BBC's True Love made it impossible not to. This story was just too perfect not to indulge my creative side by filling in some holes and making a little continuation out of it. I also apologize in advance to an Author, Rachel, whose TL stories I've read. She introduced an interesting concept that I wanted to further develop, so one of these ideas is not my own.
PART ONE
It was in the extra glances Karen would steal towards Holly that solidified what she was feeling towards her teacher was real. It was in the pain she felt swelling in her chest every time a boy in her class said something rude towards her that made Karen discover this was more than just some silly crush. She yearned for that eye contact and the simple share of a smile, as she would pass in her papers. It was all there.
Holly was the reason she joined art club, and the person solely behind her inspiration.
Karen battled with her self for time and time before she could fight no more. It's what led her to admit how sad she felt watching her classmates terrorize such a wonderful woman. And it pushed her to invite her out to the art exhibit, which she'd been waiting over a month for. It delved her into asking Holly all about her personal life and it made her heart ache when her teacher referred to her own life as dreary. And it nearly shattered her heart to hear that Holly was seeing someone.
She went home that night feeling taken back by her feelings. Maybe she was just a girl with a crush. But when she returned to her English class the following day Holly's warm brown eyes called her back to her heart and she no longer needed reassurance that she wanted to defy everything to be with her. That's why when Holly invited her student over for tea at her flat, Karen felt like she could sing.
Her step had a little skip to it that day as she trucked on over to Holly's place. She'd pictured her teacher's flat in her head a million times; the photos on the shelf, the tiny but homey feel. She knew it all before she arrived there. Holly's sad demeanor set her place though.
"Will you tell me about this guy you see" Karen initiated, knowing the source of this sadness.
"What do you want to know about him?"
Karen didn't want to know anything about the guy. "Are you happy?" She nearly begged.
Holly was entirely taken back, she felt dreadful in an instant as tears were at the brim of her eyes. "I don't know, it's really um, it's just a complicated situation."
A smile spread across Karen's facial features. "I can do complicated." Holly responded with her own sad smile. "We talk about everything"
"He's married." Holly's desperateness poured out the words and she was fallen into shambles. In an instant Karen was holding her hand and then she was in front of her.
It ripped her apart to see her so broken. "I can't see you like this" Her lovely strong teacher who always showed up back to class no matter what Karen's classmates put her through. She squatted there desperately holding her hand, thinking about her next move. She searched for words better than what she was about to do, but then it happened. Holly's eyes met with Karen's for an instant and then she drew herself up to place her lips on her teachers.
Karen was crying then, both completely fogged by the action. "I've never felt like this around anyone before." Holly was holding her to her in an anxious hug. She cried more before pulling back. "It feels amazing, and scary. You make me really happy"
All Holly could do was watch this amazing girl, her amazing student, smile at the thought of her lips having just been on her own. How long had Karen wanted this? Her over active brain was reeling in thought as she let a smile over take her own lips. She reached for the girl's arm and held it between hers sort of cradling it. It glued her to the chair and calmed her worry. Her smile dissipated after a bit and she dropped her head to their latched hands. Her eyes shown with unshed tears while she bowed in disappointment and fear.
Sensing the discomfort Karen gave her arm a little tug up. Holly raised her eyes and stood as she was directed to. Her buttocks level with the small kitchen table, Karen backed her into it slowly, holding her hands tightly between them. To prevent the older woman from hesitating or thinking any further she placed her lips on hers once more, this time with slightly more force. Seeing Karen lick her lips after pulling back ignited something in Holly. This gleeful quirky sixteen-year-old girl had complete control over what was happening, and she shown no fear at all. Maybe it was because Holly was older, but in an instant she was trying to take control. She was caught in a panic as she slowly dragged a willing Karen to her tiny bedroom. She was still with apprehension as she sat down on the edge of the bed and released Karen's hand.
"I'm sorry" she sobbed and buried her face in her hands.
Karen pulled them down gently so she could see her eyes. "I'm not." She offered another one of the small smiles that Holly was learning to adore. As it triggered the same response in the woman she used her fingers to feel the lips that had drawn Karen to Holly all those classes ago. They were luscious and so soft, but they felt better when she was using her own lips to touch them.
It was Holly who initiated their next kiss. She reached up as Karen removed her hands from her face and grabbed her chin. She pulled her down to her and she took a seated position beside her as they kissed. This time no one was pulling away. They stayed there locked together, tasting each other's tears as they flowed freely. Karen dragged on Holly's bottom lip with her teeth as her stomach churned wonderfully. She released her lip and pulled back to undo her long brown hair from the confines of the elastic. Her headband followed and she tossed it onto the floor.
Holly's eyes glazed as she took in this new person beside her. No longer did she look like a small girl, a student. She aged in front of her and it seemed to heat up her insides. She reached for a fistful of hair as she brought their lips back together. Karen inched back on the bed, pulling her legs up onto the mattress. She placed her back into the pillows and brought Holly on top of her.
As they lay together after Holly had given Karen the most amazing sensations she'd ever dreamed she could receive from this beautiful woman, every nerve in her body was still on fire. She tried to even her breathing by staring at the ceiling but she was so caught up in everything. Holly was so soft and naked under the sheet beside her. She angled her head to look at her. She was perched up on her elbow looking down at Karen with her scared eyes.
"Hi" Karen whispered.
The woman pursed her lips and smiled. "Hi" Karen held out her hand and Holly quickly hugged it in her own. She relaxed her head to the blankets, her left cheek gently resting against Karen's arm. "How am I going to see you in school?" As she spoke her lips brushed against Karen's sweet smelling skin.
Karen separated their hands and began to trace patterns on Holly's upper arm. She looked away and let her words wash over her.
At school the next morning they crossed each other's paths in the north hall moving to class two. Karen noticed her a mile away as they approached. Holly's own smile seemed to catch light as Karen walked towards her. They acknowledged each other briefly, letting their eyes say more than there actions, and then moved in opposite directions.
Karen always knew how she felt about Holly, well Ms. Shawcross in this setting but the love Holly felt for Karen came in a much different way.
Before love, she knew it was at bare minimum admiration that she felt for the stringy brunette. It was this admiration for Karen that led her to finally break things off with David.
When her class worked her into tears when they discovered she was screwing a student she was hit with realization that it was much more than that. She was falling for the sixteen year old. As they clung to each other that evening, both having left classes early, they shared simple touches. Holly realized how much their was to their relationship; why it shouldn't work, but more importantly, why it was.
Holly told her mother that it was love. It was the first time she'd heard it out loud, but it was. She was so sure of it now. She loved Karen and it didn't make sense. It just happened. Karen made her love her whether she'd want to love or not.
She loved her so much, she knew Karen was better off with out her.
The shared a walk along the pier after Holly explained what happened with her mother. Karen was elated to know how she felt about her, but knew the sadness wasn't behind them yet. They walked back to Holly's flat at a steady pace, trying to get back behind the comfort of a closed door. As it shut behind them she sunk to the floor leaning against its frame, head on her knees. Karen left her momentarily to put on the teakettle and strip her jacket. She sat on the arm of the sofa and starred down at the woman she loved more than anything. She was in pieces because of her.
"If I'd kept my silly little crush on a leash like most teenage girls your life wouldn't been in shit right now"
Holly yielded a small laugh. "My life was in shit before you came through it sweetie."
Karen sighed. "I just can't help but feel I've torn everything up for you."
"No Karen, I do a good job of that myself"
She removed herself to the kitchen again, taking a seat at one of the chairs. She heard Holly get up and move towards the bedroom. Karen gently prodded her temple and let the silence wash over her.
When the tea set she procured a cup for Holly. She found her not much further than she once was. She was seated on the floor at the foot of her bed staring at the wall. Karen dangled the cup in front of her face until she took it and then sat down beside her.
Karen watched her as she sipped her tea and stared a hole into the plaster. With ease she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Holly's cheek. Holly turned to look at her, eyes wide. Quickly she brought her lips to Karen's placing the tea on the carpet. She drew her up on the bed and removed her tie. Then she pulled at her hair letting it fall down to her shoulders. Karen was in love with Holly's fervor. She fed off of it as she attacked her lips.
"You're so beautiful." Karen whispered and Holly kissed her harder as she unbuttoned her shirt.
As they lay beside each other later, Holly sighed, grasping Karen's hand with desperation. "I'm gunna have to go"
"What do you mean?" Her voice was hushed.
"I've got to leave"
Karen's heart missed a beat. "Why?"
As if it were so plain, "Because everyone knows what's going on between us. I think there are going to be big repercussions. I need to go somewhere else before it all happens. I just feel like everyone's slowly closing in on us and I-" Karen separated their fingers and began to draw circles on Holly's shoulder. She instantly felt the loss. "Hold my hand" Karen reconnected their hands. "I have to go"
And there was Karen. "I could come with you. I want to come with you"
"You can't" Holly pleaded.
"I can."
Holly's head jerked toward her. "No"
Her big brown eyes were starring back at Karen, her lips a jar. She looked amazing. "I want to be with you, everyday, like this."
Holly knew it, the second she needed Karen's hand back in hers, that this was far from something she could run from.
Karen returned to her parents home that night leaving Holly with one request. "Please, don't leave without me." Holly chewed on her bottom lip and directed a sad smile at the sixteen year old. "Please Holly" It was the first time the teacher had heard her first name out of Karen's mouth. It sounded lovely and sweet. It made her desire more.
"I'm not going anywhere just yet." Sad, but convinced enough for the night, Karen left her flat and made her walk back in the setting sun.
The next day in class Holly remained seated at her desk while her students filtered in. Their harsh gazes pushed her further into her chair. When Karen passed through with her classmates and moved to her table she kept her eyes on the ground in front of her. Holly spared her a quick glance before the chants began.
The boy Chris who she had learned to despise led the chorus. The word stung in new places. "Lesbian" Their had been so many other things to delve her thoughts into, Holly hadn't even considered that that was exactly what she was. The word created an itching inside her that persuaded her to pick up her bag and leave the classroom. Holly was through with Margate.
With a quick pace she drove her heels into the ground and relieved herself of the school. She put it behind her and didn't look back. Even when Karen was there beside her, grabbing her hand and matching her speed did she turn around. She flashed Karen a surprised smile and was greeted by the sixteen year olds subtle laughter. They clung to each other as they moved towards the gate.
Their pace quickened the closer they got to Holly's flat. Karen made faint glances behind her every so often to see if anyone was following them, but they were alone. And they were moving fast. Something about Holly's pace frightened Karen, but she stayed beside her even as the woman broke out in a run up her apartment stairs. She was holding a very lost smile to her face as she thrust the door to her room open. As soon as she entered she connected her foot with the small flower vase by her bookshelf and sent it straight into the kitchen wall. Next she wacked a picture frame off her side table and the glass shattered against the floor. Karen quickly shut the door and backed her self against it.
"You're a very stupid girl Karen," she shouted facing the kitchen table, her hands clenched. "You've gone and gave up everything to be a part of my screwed up lifestyle. You have other, younger people to be with. Your life was full of potential before me." She turned around to stare at her, anger present in the hot tears on her face. "You are just crushing on me, you're too young to know that this is what you want!"
"You should be upset with me Holly!" Karen cried. "I forced myself into your life, I made you leave your job. I gave my classmates a reason to bully you. I hate myself for being so selfish" Holly sank to her knees in the kitchen as she listened. "I ruined everything."
The woman on the floor turned to press her back against the kitchen counter. "Karen, you have exams, you need to go to a good university and get a job. You cannot stay here."
More tears escaped down Karen's cheeks. "But I-"
"Where ever we went, there'd still be 8 years between us. Don't you get that?"
"I don't care!" Karen screamed and walked towards Holly. All of a sudden she was fighting to stay. "I don't care that I'm younger, I don't care. I do care how you can sit here and tell me things about my life you're not even sure of. You give me potential, more so than anyone my own age could."
"Karen-"
"No listen." She racked in a deep breath as she sat in front of the messy haired brunette. "I messed up, I did, and I'm sorry. I should have kept my feelings for you a secret. I shouldn't have invited you to that art exhibit. I should have been more careful when telling Victoria we were spending time together. I fucked up. But I don't need to hear from you that I don't know what I want. I don't need to hear about the things I need to do for school. They don't matter. I'll figure it out as we go on, but I'm not walking out of this apartment, so don't try to push me." Holly was silent. "You said yourself that you loved me. If age brings sincerity, you were telling the truth, weren't you?"
A small laugh escaped Holly's mouth as she cried. "Are you calling me old?"
Karen shook her head. "Do you love me?"
The woman sighed. "Yes, I do, I love you, but" Karen leaned forward to kiss her but collided with Holly's hands. "But that doesn't make anything less complicated."
All of a sudden a bright smile shown over Karen's face. "I can do complicated."