Title: Alma Mater Blues
Author: Third Charm
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairings: Marcus/Neroon, Corwin/OC, Sheridan/Delenn (in passing), Garibaldi/Lise (in passing), Lyta/Byron (in passing), Ivanova/OC (in passing), and Lennier/OC (in passing and sort of)
Story Type: Drama, Comedy, Romance
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all subsequent major characters, plots, and ideas are the property of J.Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Inc. and Warner Bros. The following story was written only for the purposes of entertainment. No income had been made.
Warnings: Very, VERY AU, not beta read yet, slash, implied exhibitionism
Spoilers: Too many to count!
Summary: This is another installment in the "Reunion Series" and is a sequel to "Old Crushes and True Loves". Now, to the party the boys do go!
Author's Note: Marcus and Neroon are an "old married couple" in this story. Also, the Minbari words and phrases were found at the "JumpNow" website in John Hightower's Minbari dictionary.
Alma Mater Blues
Chapter One
Marcus cursed in all three modern Minbari languages as he ran. Damn those two idiots! He was late. At least there was no one to give him demerits for running in the halls this time. Aha! Almost there! Marcus saw his mala (spouse) casually leaning against the wall in what Susan called a "classic James Dean Pose". What a picture Neroon made!
The Satai was dressed in a flowing black silk evening robe and matching silk trousers. The robe was cut close to the body, to be open fronted and was slit along the sides up to mid thigh. It showed off the breadth of the Warrior-Priest's shoulders, tight fitting trousers, and not to mention Neroon's hard, sculpted thighs, gleaming knee high boots and mandarin collared gold silk tunic beneath the robe. A gold and platinum three-link chain and clasp, emblazoned with the Star Riders Crest of course, held it closed at the waist. The piping on the robe and trousers was done in gold, matching the tunic and designating Neroon's status as well. And, as always, Neroon's antique denn'bok (Minbari fighting pike) was hooked to his belt.
Marcus loved the new styles that the designers on Minbar had come up with. They were a blend of the more ancient Human fashions, particularly from the Orient, and traditional Minbari robes. The older Minbari considered the fashions quite scandalous. Why, a modest Minbari NEVER showed so much leg outside the sleeping chamber - whether it was covered or not! Marcus wondered what the elders would do if they ever saw Delenn in John's favorite little, and he meant LITTLE, black dress!
The first time Delenn and Neroon had been seen in the new styles, it had caused no end of controversy. Marcus and John had spent the entire evening being admonished by the elders to take their spouses home to change while at the same time trying to keep slavering Warrior youths from breaking all Custom and protocol and hitting on said spouses! That evening started the Minbari press' foray into the "gossip rag" business. Oh the horror! The scandal! The profits!
Marcus skidded to a halt in front of his husband. Neroon just looked at him. Marcus held out a hand, and the Satai handed over the suit bag that had been casually slung over his shoulder. They both ducked into the boys' locker room of Livingston's Academy.
Marcus began stripping faster than a starfury pilot readying for a red alert launch. "Neroon, remind me to kill those two idiots - SLOWLY - when we get back to Minbar. God, if Steven hadn't caught the news coming in on the police scanners, the Federation would have been totally humiliated!"
Neroon sighed and slumped back against the wall. "Just how bad was it this time?" he asked.
"Our dear goks (Minbari felines) in heat that won't admit it got themselves arrested for - get this - disturbing the peace, brawling, drunken disorderly and, of all things, public lewdness!" Marcus spat out as he drew on a pair of tuxedo trousers.
Neroon imitated a gold fish for a bit. Finally able to speak, he blurted out, "WHAT?!"
"You know they were at the conference for promoting interstellar peace in San Francisco?" Neroon nodded and Marcus continued, "Well, they got into one of their usuals right in the middle of the reception. Torreth lost it more than his normal and shoved Lennier. Lennier picked himself up off the floor and then let him have with all weapons systems blazing. Then, just as our "dear innocent Lennier" showed off his impressive knowledge of the more debased vernacular of six civilizations, someone passed him a glass of what appeared to be iced tea."
"He wet his whistle in preparation to continue while Torrath had his go around. Then something truly odd happened. Lennier threw his glass into the wall and "jumped" - and I mean "jumped" as in the human sexual term - Torrath! Lennier then said, and I quote, "I have heard tell that Warriors taste sweat, shall I find out?" He then went down on him - RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RECEPTION!" Marcus yelled out while buttoning up a dress shirt of emerald green silk.
"OH VALEN! HE DID WHAT?!" Neroon yelled out.
"You heard me! Lennier went down on him! As in providing oral sexual gratification – right in the middle of the conference reception!" Marcus spat out with anger and disgust.
Neroon began to laugh hysterically. "You know what this means?"
"Yes! We barely saved the honor of the Federation that's what! If Steven hadn't been at the forensic pathologist's office of the S.F.P.D. when this happened, it would been all over ISN! It'll still get out and cause havoc in the ISA Assembly! Oh Valen! I don't even want to THINK about how the Clan, Caste and Grey Councils will react! And just wait till the rags back home get their hands on this! And, as it is, I had to spin more lies than a spider spins silk to get them out of there and onto a Sharlin (Minbari War Cruiser) back to Minbar. By the way, if anyone asks, Lennier was poisoned and hallucinating," Marcus said as he slipped his dinner jacket on.
"Yes, it does mean that. But, my mala, I take it that the iced tea was what Humans call a "Long Island Iced Tea"?" Neroon asked with an evil smirk on his face.
"What... Another "Blessed Child?!" Oh, this IS sweet revenge!" Marcus said, now looking as evil as his husband.
"Speaking of revenge, how is Torreth behaving after this?" Neroon asked.
"Hiding in shame," Marcus answered. His smirk got just a little more evil as he put on his dress shoes.
"As he should be. There was no need to become violent. That is what sparked this mess to begin with!" Neroon huffed as he did up the clasp to the chain of Marcus's platinum Star Rider pendant.
"Oh no, my mala. That's not it at all! When Lennier gave him his – ahem – "little present", Torreth squealed like a terrified virgin and promptly feinted," Marcus chuckled out as they finished. He had packed his Shai Alyt Uniform in his bag in this time.
Neroon burst out laughing. "Oh, Valen! I will never, NEVER, let that loud mouth of a Wind Sword live that one down!"
Marcus agreed and joined in the laughter. When they calmed a bit, they headed out the door. Marcus handed the bag over to a Ranger dressed in a waiter's uniform as they exited.
"So who do you think they finally pushed over the edge in order to have this happen?" Neroon asked as they walked.
"You know, I think this has Centauri Prime Minister Vir Cotto written all over it. It's exactly what a Centauri would do. They would either kill each other or shag each other, but at least the mayhem would end!" Marcus replied, still frustrated by his unscheduled trip to the American West Coast to bail two members of the Grey Council out of the S.F.P.D.'s drunk tank!
Neroon snorted. "Where have all the innocents gone? I remember a time when Vir stuttered and blushed worse than a novice Religious Caste caught in a Centauri bordello and Lennier had a permanent crick in his neck from looking down all the time."
Marcus became serious. "Humans haven't been innocent since the War, and The Shadow Wars burned it out of all the rest of us, my love. You know, as much as the little goklings that deify us annoy me, I still rejoice in seeing their innocence. When I look into their eyes and see no remembered pain, I feel that we accomplished our goals," he answered quietly.
Neroon stopped their walk and turned to take Marcus in his arms. The Satai looked into his mala's eyes. "You know that if we Minbari could turn back the time, we would have the war with Earth never happen? It is as painful a memory for us as it is for your people, beloved. To know that we became such savages, committed such horrendous acts against those that could not defend themselves, it horrifies us."
"As we walked the streets of the town today, I saw mothers pulling their children closer to them as we passed. I saw males take a step to the front of their families, as if to protect their loved ones with their bodies. And I know it is because of the carnage we wreaked on Earth and her colonies during the war. It has been well past fifteen of your years and the pain and fear are still there. I do not think we will ever be able to atone for that madness."
Marcus felt tears fill his eyes at the remorse and pain in his love's voice and hugged him tighter. "Zha'aia (One Heart), please do not dwell on such thoughts. The war is over. It has been over, as you said, for over fifteen years. The wounds are starting to heal. Yes, some people today were still afraid, but many more were very welcoming. You saw how many children, and adults as well, had come up and asked about our uniforms. Do you remember the look on that old ground pounder's face when he realized that I was the War Commander of the Warrior Caste and not you?"
Neroon chuckled and kissed Marcus's forehead. "Yes! By Valen! That was quite a shock to the elder. What did he mean, when he said to me, "Well lad, if there's another cock-up, ye've got nothin' to blame but yer thinkin' with yer willy?" I did not fully understand, but to ask for an explanation to a comment that I think was not completely polite in such mixed company would not have been acceptable."
Marcus laughed outright. "That old drill sergeant meant that if the Federation got into another war without thinking of the consequences, the blame should be laid at your feet for letting your sexual urges get the better of you. After all, how else could someone as young as I come be in command of the entire Minbari military?"
Neroon groaned. "Elders! It doesn't matter the species, you never mature in their eyes!"
They stepped out of each other's arms, but still clasped the other's hand. Marcus spoke again as they again made their way to the doors of Livingston's great hall. "Well, I can't keep avoiding this, Neroon. Let the political fawning from the sycophants, snubbing from the snobs, veiled insults from the xeno and homophobes, and outright boredom begin."
Neroon squeezed his hand in encouragement. "All will be well, mala. I will be here with you. We have, as of yet, not found a being willing to insult us when we present a united front."
"That's because you haven't met the Rothechilde twins before. You will tonight. So please, please give your denn'bok to one of the Rangers posing as waiters. I do not wish to be bailing out another Minbari from jail tonight." Marcus said.
Neroon straightened, and gave Marcus his most haughty "I am Satai" look. "After all these years of dealing with Londo, Garibaldi and G'Kar, I do believe I have learned how to restrain myself. If I hadn't, John would have had a blood bath on his hands at the first Christmas party!" Neroon smirked. "Do not worry love, your former school mates will not break my self control."
"That's what you think," Marcus muttered as they entered the great hall of his almamater.
An hour later, Neroon found himself eating his words. By the Ancient Ones! How had Marcus endured four years in the company of these fools without committing homicide?! The innuendoes had started as they walked in. Apparently, the fools did not know how acute Minbari hearing really was. While most beings made sure to insult a Minbari after they were well out of hearing range, these Shadow-Spawn whispered behind their cocktail glasses only a few yards from him!
Oh, the Sha'gh (cursed ones) were on their most diplomatic behavior, fawning even, when speaking directly to them. And, as Marcus said, all the insults were quite well veiled. Most were about how well Marcus put up with having a mass murderer for a mate. The comments disparaging his honor Neroon could ignore, but what was being said about Marcus made his blood boil!
Comments such as "Well, at least Cole's arse went for one hell of a high price!", "Do you think the little queen got his taste for bonehead cock during the War?" and "Hell, if I'd known the little mine rat was as bent as a three-credit chip, I'd have nailed him back in the old days, when he came a lot cheaper." had Neroon wanting to restart the Earth/Minbari War. And this time, he'd keep the attacks to surgical strikes! How dare they infer that his mate was a courtesan?! How dare they! Marcus had come to him unawakened. His mala had more honor in his pinky finger than they imbeciles had in their entire bodies and souls!
He also had to apologize to Marcus for underestimating the sheer annoyance factor of the Rothechilde twins. How can a being insult you in the same sentence that they proposition you in? Even Londo's fourth wife was better behaved than this! The Satai sighed into his glass of sparkling water. At least there was one consolation. Marcus had not yet heard a word of what was being said about him, and if Neroon had his way, he never would. The Satai truly regretted having his love come to this mess.
Neroon was the epitome of the stone-faced Mindari War Leader as yet another human he did not know walked up to them. Hopefully this one would be better behaved and would keep his hands to himself, unlike those twin tarts! If not, well, odds were that Marcus WOULD be bailing him out of prison tonight.
"Marcus, hey mate, I don't know if you remember me, but we were in the same science program. Eric Rathborn," the slim, light-haired, and bespectacled human male said as he held out his hand to Marcus.
"Eric? Eric, bloody hell mate! You've truly changed! I didn't recognize you at all! Nor did I expect to see you here, not after your quite colorful and scathing valorvictorian speech! How are you? What have you been doing with your self?" Marcus enthused as he shook the man's hand.
"The speech was my entry into the real world. I'm not so timid and shy any more. Grew up hard and fast. In the same place as you, old bean." Eric said.
Marcus became somber. "Live fast, run faster," Eric joined him in the saying, "play hard, and DIE HARDER!" they shouted in unison and raised their glasses. Those around them gave the two startled looks. "To the honored ones. In memoriam," they finished and drank. Neroon bowed his head in reverence. He had found out early on that this was the EarthForce Special Forces way of honoring their dead.
"I'm sorry Eric, I am being quite rude. May I introduce my husband? Eric Rathborn, this is my mala, Neroon of the Star Riders. Neroon, this is my old science partner, Eric Rathborn. Together, we were voted by the instructors "most likely to purposely cause catastrophic cascade failure" in the schools Q-40 reactor," Marcus explained with a devilish smirk.
Neroon chuckled and bowed formally to Eric before anwering with, "Somehow, ma'fela (lover), that does not surprise me."
"Hey! I am not that destructive!" Marcus defended himself with mock innocence.
"Tell that to someone who hadn't had to fight to keep up with your ID&R record, Firewing," Eric said as he chuckled.
"FIREWING?! Marcus, you could have told me sooner! You are a legend among the Caste. Most still can't believe that all the sabotage that is attributed to you was committed by one being," Neroon cried in disbelief, garnering them more startled looks.
"Oh, bugger!" Marcus muttered as he blushed, mumbled and finally ducked his head in embarrassment.
"What was that?" Neroon prompted.
"I already have way too many goklings following me around as it is. If this gets out back home, we'll have the little fools camping at our doorstep like poor G'Kar does," Marcus groused.
Neroon groaned. "You are right," he agreed before turing to to Eric. "Please let's say nothing more on the subject. Other than, well you must then be Starblazer, going by your previous statement."
Eric inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I could never keep up with him in shear blast radius, though."
"I repeat, I am not that destructive!" Marcus defended himself again.
His two companions stared at him in disbelief.
"Alright, I admit it. I'm good with things that make lots of noise and leave big craters. But I'm supposed to be. Remember, I'm just a "mine rat"!" Marcus said while chuckling.
His old partner, and sometime EFSF rival, changed the subject. "Marcus, would you and your mala care to join my wife and myself at our table? She doesn't know anyone here but you and the Satai. I think she's also feeling a bit conspicuous."
"We know your mate?" asked Neroon as they walked to one of the more shadowed corners.
"Yes, quite well, in fact. I don't know how you will feel about seeing her tonight, but at least she will have someone to talk to that won't have her wanting to order a black ops hit," Eric said with a rueful chuckle.
"She's already run in to the Rothechilde harridans, then?" Marcus asked.
"Unfortunately. I believe they met in the ladies' retiring room. Fortunately, the little fools are already too pickled to have recognized her," Eric said as the neared their destination.
Marcus immediately knew whom they would see seated at the table. The two behemoths with black suits, ears pieces, and bulging breast pockets standing in the darkest part of the corner gave her away. These two killing machines were the EA president's personal Secret Service guards. Marcus looked down, and there she was, the red-haired dynamo, Madame President Ellen Carmichael. And she looked more bored than a Centauri Lord at a Minbari Na'fak Cha (rebirth) ceremony.
"Madam President, for once, I am glad to see you," Neroon said, smirked, and bowed.
"Wow, Neroon! You really DO know how to make a girl feel wanted," Carmichael replied sarcastically.
The men laughed and sat down. Neroon and Ellen had been bantering like this since they had first met at her inauguration ball. Both were blunt, no nonsense warriors, and neither suffered fools gladly. Marcus was truly glad to see her.
"Ellen, I didn't know you had married this loon! Had I known you were about to tie the knot to Eric, I would have warned you off!" He teased.
"We married back during the War, Marcus. We were on the same team during the fight for Io," she smiled sadly and added, "We vowed that if we made it out alive, we'd get married."
Neroon bowed his head in deference to the Human dead and in shame. The memories of Io still made his skin crawl. "May your fallen brethren walk where no shadows fall," he intoned.
Ellen looked at him, and inclined her head. "Stop beating yourself up over it, Neroon. You didn't give the order. And if I, and the rest of humanity, can forgive Delenn for giving it, we can easily forgive Warriors taught only to obey for following orders."
Eric intervened before the moment could get more morbid. "Come now, why don't you two let us all get caught up?" he cheerfully asked.
Marcus agreed, and asked the first question. "Well, I know what Ellen has been doing with her time since we all served, but how about you, Eric? What have you been doing, and why don't we see your lovely mug at all those horrible rubber chicken dinners?"
"Running General Dynamic Space, and I HATE politics. Hence, the maiden name my lovely lady still uses. This First Gentleman hides quite well in his office, thank you!" he answered.
Marcus was floored. There had never been a picture of the GDS CEO in the press. "So you're "that bastard Rathborn"! Well my friend, I don't think I should invite you two over for dinner the same night Michael and Lise are over. I don't need a blood bath in the dining salon."
The table laughed. "Don't worry, Marcus. That's just for the Press. In reality, Mike and I work well together. In the OLD Business and the new, the old is why I keep such a low profile," Eric said.
A waiter came over with their favorite cocktails and another sparkling water with citrus juice for Neroon. They took their drinks and smirked at the rueful look the Ranger turned waiter gave the Secret Service men, who returned the look in comradely support.
"You know, between my people, Eric's people, Mike's people, your people, John's people and Delenn's people, I don't think there is a real service professional here tonight," Ellen said.
"And don't they all hate us for presenting such a combined and lovely target?" Marcus said as they as chuckled again.
"Do you remember when we where in their shoes, and roundly cursing our charges for congregating so closely that one round could take out all the "foolish politicians" at once?" Eric asked. That brought more laughs.
"My personal guards were supremely insulted for being asked to where changling nets tonight. They wished to have at least one Warrior to act as a "screen". But, after some placating, we were able to convince them that Marcus and I did not wish to stand out more than we already did. After all, this is just an informal gathering, and we did not… hmm… Now what was that saying? Aha! We did not R.S.V.P. that we were attending until two days ago," Neroon added.
"Oh, my word! We have Minbari Warriors acting as service staff?!" Eric asked. "By God, I hope the xenophobic fools here can keep their stupidity to themselves, or there will be a massacre!"
"Don't worry Eric. The Warriors doing it are Minbari Intelligence. They know how to keep themselves in check," Marcus assured him.
"And if not, as the universal saying goes, they are good at what they do. No one will ever find the bodies," Neroon added with a feral smile and a dark chuckle, thinking about what may very well happen to some of the fools that had insulted Marcus.
More vicious laughter was heard. The table was beginning to garner interest from their neighbors. Nervous interest.
"Oh, damn and blast! Bogies at twelve o'clock high!" Eric called out after looking up and seeing their old Dean and the president of their graduating class, Damian Witherspoon, walking towards the table.
The venerable old teacher walked up to the table. The "youngsters" stood up. Neroon bowed to the "elder" and "instructor" as any polite Minbari would.
"Oh my! What a distinguished crowd! Madame President, Satai, and Shai Alyt, - and Mister Rathborn - it is an honor to have you here. May I welcome you, and welcome you back, as the case may be, to Livingston's?" the retired Dean said. "Please, sit down. May we join you for a bit?"
"Yes, of course, Dean Rodgers. Please, be seated," Eric said and motioned to one of the Secret Service guards to seat the old dean. Witherspoon could go to hell. He'd made Eric's and Marcus's lives miserable.
When the elderly gentleman was seated, he asked he first question. "Now I know why the Satai is here," Witherspoon smirked at Marcus, letting everyone know exactly what he thought of that situation, "but you Madam President? What brings you to this gathering, and why are your men following Mr. Rathborn's orders?"
Eric groaned. "Ellen, love, I don't think we can keep it under the rug any more."
"I think you're right, dear," Ellen answered in her best "dutiful housewife" voice.
Marcus and Neroon snorted and shook their heads. Was anyone buying that act?
"Ellen and I have been married for the past eighteen years. We met while on the same duty station. And, well, it was love at first sight," Eric explained.
Witherspoon smirked. "Well, Eric, why haven't we seen you around then? I've been to many EA functions and I certainly don't remember running into you."
"Oh, Eric was too busy working. He does real work, you know!" Ellen gushed, all proud housewife.
Marcus was choking back his laughter while Neroon had to duck his head so that his truly evil smirk would not be seen.
"Why, he's the CEO of General Dynamic Space, and has been for the last thirteen years. The youngest to reach such a position in the company! And, is solely responsible for the Dreadnought Fleet that we fielded against the Shadows after getting rid of Clark!" she enthusiastically added.
Witherspoon paled. GDS had destroyed his family's firm and then taken it over at one tenth of its true price, leaving them with barely any of their wealth left. That had been over a decade ago. Why hadn't anyone made the connection before?
Marcus looked up to see a feral smile on both Eric and Ellen's faces. Then he turned to hide his own smirk - and saw a startling sight. Captain Corwin of Babylon 5 had walked in, with a petite, black-haired and very pregnant lady on his arm. Marcus did a double take. Yes, yes, it was Janice Davis! Well, Janice Corwin now, he supposed. Could the universe get any smaller?
"Sorry to interrupt, but another old friend just walked in. And you won't believe it, Eric! Janice is in the pudding club and on Corwin's arm!" Marcus said.
"Bugger! Corwin did you say? How did he land Janice?" a startled Eric asked.
Witherspoon's jaw dropped. Another bloody little nobody now with clout?! How? Why? This wasn't to be borne!
"Excuse us, but perhaps we should move this party out into the open. We don't want an expectant mother to have to work her way back here," Ellen said as she got up.
The men followed suit. She then sent one of the guards to commandeer a table closer to the front of the room, and the other to extend the invitation. Fuck being polite and not stepping on toes! The rest of the fools had already taken off the proverbial gloves!
Neroon saw what she was doing, and motioned one of his people to back the Secret Service men up. Time for some pay back! He gave the Warrior the signal to drop the net. A fully armed and armored Minbari Warrior showing up out of nowhere elicited a sea of gasps and a few screams. Marcus saw this and raised an eyebrow at his mala.
"Revenge can be sweet love, and with another very high profile couple, we can get it," answered Neroon in Adrihi'e (the ancient Minbari language).
"We have all heard the insults these Sha'gh have been speaking of all of us, it is time to make them realize just who they are upsetting," added Ellen in the same language while Eric smirked.
Marcus inclined his head. He didn't care if these bastards kept calling him a whore, but if one more idiot called his love a baby killer, he was going to be the one that needed bail money tonight! "Then let "Operation Humiliate the Fools Begin!" he agreed.
Neroon knew then that Marcus had heard everything, and his heart bled for his mate. He took his love's hand and kissed Marcus's palm in full view of the tables surrounding them. By Valen, these Sha'gh would pay!
The four moved forward as a unit, moving with the deadly grace of predators. The battle scarred veterans of many wars and horrors let their masks of civility drop and showed the crowd the lethal killers beneath. The humans left a wake of fear behind them while Neroon inspired shear terror and more screams.
After the best table in the hall had been cleared and reset, and Ellen and Neroon were seated, Marcus and Eric went to greet Janice and her husband. As Corwin saw them approach, he smiled in relief. Well, at least Cole had made it. Between him and Neroon, he wouldn't feel like such a fish out of water in this crowd of blue bloods.
"Cole! I'm glad you made it! Sorry we're late, but a little tada in San Francisco had to be put to bed," Marcus groaned while Corwin smirked. "Michael called, and since I was in the neighborhood, so to speak, we stopped by to put it to bed, "permanently," Corwin finished with a wink as he shook hands with the former Ranger.
"Not a problem! Janice, dear! How wonderful to see you!" Marcus said as he and then Eric hugged the mother to be. "Now why were Neroon and I, nor anyone else from the old crowd invited to the wedding? It would have been nice to give this old comrade a proper Babylon Five send off!" he finished as they made their way to the table.
"That's exactly why we eloped!" Corwin said as he seated his expectant wife. He signaled a waiter to bring Janice some juice. They also shared a pointed look.
"Oh God! Not Zack's people too!" Marcus groaned. "We're surrounded! We'll never get home without a dozen lectures of why we acted as fools and broke security protocols A through Z!"
Everyone groaned at that.
"Alright! Let's pretend we're adults and don't have ten armies of babysitters here tonight!" the President said loudly as more Security made their presence obvious. Two more Warriors dropped their nets at Neroon's signal.
They table looked around covertly and saw many of the other guests pale as they realized just how much of their sniping had been overheard and was surely to be reported back. Oh, but the squirming had just begun! Neroon laughed inwardly. It wouldonly get worse for these fools as the night wore on!
"And to get back to the topic at hand, just why would that be, Captain?" asked Ellen.
"Madam President, good to see you again. So, you got hitched one of these yahoos too?" Corwin said as he came to attention, saluted, winked and sat down.
"Yep, the blond brain seated next to me. Corwin, may I present my husband Eric? Eric, Captain Corwin of B5," Ellen said.
"We already know each other ma'am. Met on Proxima way back when," the Captain said.
"Oh yes, the last push to get Clark out. Forgot about that. Sheridan had sent you to spearhead that front hadn't he?" Ellen said.
Janice groaned. "Stop! No war stories! No politics! No in-jokes about Collins nee Ivanova! I NEED A BREAK!"
Everyone laughed.
"Alright, then we can get back to the original question. Why the elopement?" Marcus asked.
"Well, the B5 track record with weddings stinks! And I wasn't going to tempt fate!" Corwin answered.
"Now, my friend, surly it's not that bad," Neroon said.
"Oh, really! Let's start with you two. Hmm, rushed to the altar by a mob at plasma rifle point while suffering from radiation poisoning. Then we have Susan and Allen. First try, the rabbi has a coronary, then the nuptials were interrupted by a Shadow attack and they finished giving their vows respectively from a starfury and the bridge of WhiteStar 25 – WHILE IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE! That was followed by Mike and Lise's little snafu; I believe that involved at least one assignation attempt. And John and Delenn; well "champagne", followed by G'Kar's prosthetic eye tied into BabCom, need I say more? Zack and Steve, well I think those two hahbeen scared into permanent bachelorhood after that! And I STILL have nightmares of Lyta and Byron's fiasco!" the Captain finished with a wince. Everyone who had been there shuddered at that particular little memory.
"Alright! You've made your point! We're pathetic on the personal front!" Marcus admitted. "Can we please get off the topic? It is depressing to know that we can't have a personal event happen without it being planned by a dozen aides, another dozen security officers, and the governing body of at least one planet!"
Everyone groaned, commiserated, and agreed. The topic was just too depressing.
"So Janice, what have you been doing since we left these hallowed halls?" asked Eric.
"Well, unlike the rest of you, I didn't join EarthForce. Sorry, Satai. You are excluded, of course," Janice said and blushed.
There was a round of good-natured chuckling while Neroon inclined his head and smiled gently at the expectant mother.
"I went on to university, earned my degree in teaching and have been doing that ever since I left Cambridge. Now I do it on B5. That's how we met. David was the one to interview me for the position and, well, the sparks just flew," Janice finished.
"Wow! A real life! A nice, normal, real life! Can we please trade?!" Ellen asked very enthusiastically. Hearty laughter followed.
"Say that again, after you've spent a day with two dozen hyperactive twelve-year-olds!" Janice said.
The galactic leaders all looked at each other. Smirks were seen. And more laughter was heard.
"I will reiterate the President's words, my lady. Can you please trade duties with one of us? We could use the holiday. You see; we deal with adult beings that act like hyperactive twelve-year-olds that don't wish to share their toys every day. Unlike true children though, you cannot frighten them into proper behavior! Forgive me, I need to correct myself, you cannot frighten them into proper behavior unless you are John "StarKiller" Sheridan, the One who came back from the dead and terrified the Shadows into leaving the galaxy," Neroon added.
"Don't forget that the rat points to us, and says, "Oh, and if pissing me off doesn't scare you bad enough, these people will come and hurt you for me," all while smiling politely." Corwin added with a snort.
"No, my friends. First he threatens to send Delenn and Susan over for a "conference" while inferring it's "that time of the month". Then he drops Michael's name, and if that doesn't work, THEN he points to us," Eric said.
Janice choked on her juice. "WHAT?!"
"It's true. They've worked together for so long, that they've synced. And now that I'm in on this ISA mess, I'm joining the "club". Oh, by the way, NEVER piss of Delenn when she's PMSing. I'm a woman, and it still scares me. And NEVER EVER get on Susan's bad side for ANY reason," Ellen answered.
"You mean to tell me that the President of the ISA threatens galactic leaders with his hormonal wife?" Janice asked in disbelief.
Everyone laughed until they cried. "Oh Janice, you'll start seeing the madness as sanity soon enough. Enjoy time you have left as a sane and rational person. In a few months, all you will have left is delusions of sanity, just like the rest of us. Welcome to the Babylon 5 Family!" Marcus said and raised his glass.
"Welcome to the Babylon 5 Family!" The others intoned and toasted Janice, who blushed.
Just as they finished, a chef came hurrying to their table. "Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse the interruption, but I must speak to the Misters Cole. Satai, Shai Alyt, please forgive me, but I do not believe that I have anything suitable on the menu this evening. I did not even know that know that a person of the Minbari race was even attending until one of your security personnel walked in to do sweep!" the frazzled chef said.
"Master Chef, please do not concern yourself. I am born of the Warrior Caste. I came to the calling of the Religious Caste quite late in life. Though I am now bound to hold to the ideals of both, I still live in many respects as a Warrior. Therefore, you need not worry about the dietary restrictions. Whatever you have prepared will be fine. Most Minbari can eat and digest most Human foods. The are, of course, certain foods and beverages, such as alcohol, that must be avoided," Neroon answered calmly.
The cook looked immensely relieved. "Sirs, I am glad to hear that. Could perhaps one of your men lend some assistance so that a mistake with an allergen or inadvertent poison is not made?"
"Of course, Chef," Marcus said as he motioned to one of the Rangers. The Ranger posing as one of the waiters came over and bowed after greeting the table in both Lenn'ah (the Warrior Caste language) and Adronato (the Religious Caste language).
"This is Ranger Simmons. He is familiar with all the dietary needs of the Minbari. Simmons, accompany the Chef to the kitchens. Simmons, please assist him in any way he needs," Marcus ordered. The Ranger affirmed his orders, bowed and left with the grateful cook.
"Why those unmitigated bastards! Two days is more than enough time to have the chef notified that a single Minbari would be attending! Only one Minbari would need only one separate dish! They did this in order to humiliate you, my mala!" Marcus raged quietly in Lenn'ah.
"Do not concern yourself, beloved. What is that phrase Mr. Garibaldi keeps using? Ah yes, every dog has his day. And these rabid canines will soon encounter theirs," Neroon answered serenely. He again lovingly kissed Marcus's palm, this time in full view of the entire hall.