Title: I Still Love You
Fandom: Hockey RPS
Team: Washington Capitals
Pairing and Characters: Michal Neuvirth/Semyon Varlamov, mention of Alex Ovechkin, and extremely brief moment with Bruce Boudreau
POV: Neuvy's
Words: 1,324
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: As much as I wish that this is real, it probably isn't. I do not own the Washington Capitals or the players, but I'm hoping to someday.
Summary: Neuvy is extremely upset with the way that he played the game against the Rangers. He feels like it's his fault that the Caps lost. Good thing that Varly is there to support him and love him.
All I could feel as I entered the tunnel towards the locker room were the hot tears streaming down my face. The rest of my body was numb from the game I had just caused my team to lose. I felt so ashamed of myself. I felt like I had let down my teammates.
I let in 6 goals. I caused my team to lose 6-0.
As I sat down at my spot in the locker room, I began stripping off my gear, ducking my head as I went, trying to hide my face while also attempting to hide from the disappointed looks that my teammates would most certainly shoot my way. I froze as I felt a soft hand resting on my shoulder, causing me to look up.
I felt my gut clench as I stared up into the face of my captain. There it is. The first of all of the looks of disappointment that I would receive the rest of the night was being given to me by the person I did not wish to receive them from the most. His blue eyes were filled with disappointment as he gave me a sad smile & squeezed my shoulder gently. I quickly looked away, moving to pull my shirt over my head. He sighed and removed his hand, turning away.
I quickly tuned out everything around me as Gabby entered the room. I could feel his eyes on me several times as he spoke, but I refused to meet his gaze. When he finished, he left the room & everyone else began heading for the showers until I was the only one left sitting in the locker area.
Or so I thought.
"Misha…"
I felt my Russian counterpart sit down next to me and place his calloused hand on my back. I tensed up slightly, and warily looked up at him. I met his gaze silently, feeling my eyes begin to water again. His eyes were filled not with disappointment, but with love and understanding.
"Misha…Is not your fault…" He whispered quietly, as he began to rub my back slowly, moving his thumb in small circular motions over a few of the muscle knots remaining from the game. I shivered slightly, feeling my body relax a little bit as I leaned into his touch. He moved to kneel in front of me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling my body begin to shake before I let my tears fall once again.
"Do not cry, Misha…Is not your fault…No one blames you…"
He pulled back and began to wipe away my tears with his thumb. I sniffled softly and pressed my cheek to his bare chest, welcoming the feeling of his soft chest hair rubbing against my skin. His chest was soft and warm, and I could feel it rising and falling as he breathed in and out quietly. He ran a hand through my hair slowly as I tried to bury my head even further into his chest, nuzzling it softly. He kissed the top of my head and closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of my head as he whispered something in Russian.
I pulled away from him slowly after we sat in that position for a few moments. He brought his hands up to my face and gently rested them on both sides of it, forcing my eyes to meet his vibrant blue ones. I was captivated by them, feeling almost as if he had put me into a trance of some sort. He closed his eyes as he began to bring my face closer to his. His lips touched mine in a soft kiss that I accepted. I closed my own eyes, bringing my arms up and wrapping them around his neck as he deepened the kiss slowly. I felt his lips separate as he ran his tongue across my lower lip, subtly asking for the permission that I was willing to grant. I opened my mouth slowly, feeling his tongue enter my mouth and begin to tease mine. I moaned softly into the kiss as he pulled me closer to himself, our chests pressing against one another.
I broke the kiss, breathing heavily as I rested my forehead against his. We both opened our eyes, staring at each other. Both of our chests were rising and falling in sync as we attempted to catch our breath.
"Was not your fault, Misha," He said to me softly, taking my hands in his and kissing both of them, causing me to blush and nod.
"Yes, but it felt like it was…" I replied quietly, closing my eyes. "It felt like I let the team down..."
He sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair.
"What you needed was defense," He told me as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "You needed defense, and you not get it. If anything, teammates let you down. You are great goaltender, but even the greatest goalies cannot win without their defencemen protecting them. You might have let in a few that you could have stopped, but your defencemen did not protect you. That is a necessity in order to win. Not to mention, they have no room to speak. They not score tonight. Anyone who says you not a great goalie does not know what they saying. They stupid people. Most likely fans of those Penguins. Or Dan Bylsma."
I laughed at that, causing him to grin at me. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my lips before standing up and holding out his hand. I smiled and took it, allowing him to pull me to my feet. Once I was on my feet, he twined his fingers with mine.
"Thanks, Varly…" I said quietly, kissing him softly on the cheek. "You always know what to say to cheer me up after a loss like this one."
"Is no problem!" He grinned and squeezed my hand lightly. "I have been in similar situation. I understand what you are thinking right now because I have been there before. I have thought the same thoughts. Goalies need to support each other. Rest of team does not understand the mind of the goalie, the way of the goalie. Only goalies can understand each other."
"Wow…you are right," I said, grinning as I realized just how true his statements were. I had tried to talk to some of my other teammates before, but none of them ever understood me or my problems.
"Of course I right!" He laughed. "I am Russian! Russians are always right!"
I smirked slightly as he began to drag me towards the showers.
"Maybe sometimes, but not always." I responded right before I felt a light punch on my arm.
He stopped suddenly, turning to look at me once again before speaking.
"One more thing…" He said. "Always remember that your teammates still love you no matter what happens during a game. Even if you let in hundreds, they'll still love you. More importantly though…I still love you. I love you just as I have since I first met you. Always remember that, Misha."
"I know," I told him, smiling lightly as I felt my cheeks heating up again.
He nodded and then pushed me into the shower area with a quick grin.
The next day Varly would get injured during the morning skate, & I would be forced to play the game against the Islanders with another goalie by the name of Todd Ford backing me up due to Holtby being injured as well. I would have several moments of panic throughout the rest of the day, remembering the game from the previous night before I would manage to calm myself down each time by thinking back to what Varly had said to me.
I would go on to win the game by a score of 3-2.
I would love Feedback for this, and I hope that I didn't upset any of my friends by posting this...