The opening theme of "Robot Chicken" plays, and the first scene plays.
Screen flashes to two men in a psychiatrist's office
Psychiatrist: "Ok David, I'm going to show you a series of ink blots, and you just tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when you see each one."
David: "You got it doc!"
Psychiatrist shows David the first ink blot.
David: "Your momma."
Psychiatrist gets a little annoyed by that and shoes the next ink blot.
David: "Your grandmomma."
Psychiatrist gets a little more annoyed, and shows the next ink blot.
David: "Your momma and your grandmomma having sex together in a bed."
Psychiatrist is extremely furious now, but tries to hide his anger as he shows the next ink blot.
David: "Your wife when I nailed her last night."
Psychiatrist begins to punch and maul David furiously.
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a man looking down over a cliff. He looks down and sees a rock underneath his feet. He grabs it and throws it over the edge... only to have it fall from the sky and back down the edge of the cliff in a never ending cycle
Man: "What the fu-..."
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows E.T. the extraterrestrial in a phone booth dialing a number.
E.T.: "Hello? Mom? Yeah! Hey.. it's uh... it's E.T... um... yeah! Yeah,I wanted to phone you a little earlier, but I kinda got involved in some stuff and this kid held me hostage and... well it's a long story. Point is I'll be home in about ten megacycles. Ok?... Ok...can you warm up my dinner for me?... Thanks mom, bye."
E.T. hangs up and walks out of the phone booth.
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a soccer game, and as the referee calls a foul on one of the players, that player stomps up to the ref and starts yelling.
Player: "Are you bleeping kidding me? That was completely in the line you mother bleeping bleep sucking bleep!I swear to god if you don't take that back, I'm going to bleep on your bleeping mother bleep bleep bleep. And I'll make your kids watch as I bleep straight up your bleep on the side of your mothers bleep so that when she bleeps you'll have to turn her upside down!"
Everyone in the crowd stares, and the referee goes wide eyed and blows his whistle.
Referee: "Correction! No foul! Carry on..."
The player shoves the ref's head to his butt and farts in his face.
Player: "That's what I thought you little bleep."
The ref starts to shake... and then starts to cry as the player leaves.
-Screen switches channel-
The screen goes to a guy driving his convertible.
Guy: "Oh man! I just love driving my new convertible. Not only does it have eighteen cup holders, but it also has turbo air conditioning, ejector seats, but it also has a flamethrower!"
The guy presses a button as the car's hood opens and reveals a large flamethrower. The flamethrower goes off and engulfs the car in front of him in flames. The flaming car goes off road and explodes.
Guy: "Hehe, and my wife said I was crazy for paying two dollars extra for that flamethrower..."
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a father and his son getting ready to put the son to bed.
Father: "Ok son, lights out. Good night."
Son: "Daddy, will you tell me a story?"
Father: "A story? Ok, sure."
The father sits down and the son sits up in his bed.
Father: "Once upon a time, there was a daddy getting ready to put his son to bed, but the son wouldn't go to sleep until he was told a bedtime story. So the father told him a story, and do you know what happened after that?"
The son shakes his head.
Father: "The son was murdered by Chester. The maniacal chainsaw-wielding pink bunny as punishment for not doing as the father told him to do, and just before the son died of blood loss, the son reached out to his father and asked him why he deserved this. The father didn't answer, and he simply left his son to die. Do you know what happened after that?"
The son, who is wide eyed by now, shakes his head.
Father: "The father lived happily ever after! The end."
The father leaves the room, turns off the light, and shuts the door... just as growling can be heard from outside the son's window.
-Screen changes channel-
The screen shows a man shooting another man in the side of his head, and just as the bullet collides, the man's brain shoots out of the man's ear and plops to the floor.
Man with the gun: "Whoops... you know all this time I thought that was a figure of speech..."
-Screen changes channel-
A man is shown working on a table saw inside a workshop, and someone dressed in purple and green clothing starts to gayly prance into the workshop. The man, who's name was Gary, starts to bend over towards the guy on the table saw, who's name was Brian.
Gary: "Hiya Brian!"
Brian groans at this, and sighs. "What do you want, Gary?"
Gary: "I just came to see what you were doing all by your little lonesomes in here!"
Brian rubs his nose. "I'm working on a bench, Gary. Now go away."
Gary giggles and jumps up and down. "Oooo a bench! Can I help? Maybe we could paint it turquoise afterwards!"
Brian sighs. "No Gary! Everyone knows that gay people can't handle power tools."
Gary: "Nonsense you little silly! Ooooo what does THIS do?"
Gary picks up a power drill and starts it up, waving it around.
Brian: "NO Gary no! Put that down!"
Gary: "Ooooo it's all spinny and stuff!"
Brian, through attempts to get Gary to let go of the drill... eventually gets turbo drilled directly in the forehead and lies dead on the floor. Gary, who's still hold the drill, giggles.
Gary: "Tehe... oppsie daisies! You ok dokey down there Brian?"
-Screen switches channel-
The screen goes to a commercial, and it shows a little kid getting beat up by a larger kid.
Announcer: "Hey kid! Are you tired of getting beat up for your lunch money every other day?"
The kid gets punched in the face, and with a dazed expression... he nods.
Announcer: "Well then you need to try our new product... Bully-Be-Gone!"
Kid: "Bully-Be-Gone?"
Announcer: "Yes! Bully-Be-Gone! It's a magical spray that targets the people you hate most of all!"
The kid suddenly gets a purple spray can with an icon that has the word "Bully" in it crossed out. The kid sprays it at the kid beating him up, and the larger kid starts to choke and keels over on the floor.
Kid: "Wow! Thanks Bully-Be-Gone!"
Announcer: "Bully-Be-Gone has multiple uses! Did your teacher give you an unfair grade? Make her change her mind with Bully-Be-Gone!"
A teenager who has a paper with a large "F" on it starts to spray the Bully-Be-Gone at his teacher. The teacher begins to hold her throat, choke, and collapses to the floor.
Teenager: "Thanks Bully-Be-Gone!"
Announcer: "Is your sister taking too long in the bathroom? Gas her out of there with Bully-Be-Gone!"
The screen shows a kid outside a bathroom door. He cracks the door slightly and starts to spray the Bully-Be-Gone into the room... Soon after a large girl with a towel wrapped around her starts limbing out of the bathroom choking like crazy and collapses outside the door.
Kid: "Golly! Thanks Bully-Be-Gone!"
Announcer: "Bully-Be-Gone works on bullies, teachers, sisters, parents, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, police officers in pursuit of you, your best friend, you ex-best friend, your dog, your cat, your armadillo, your principal, your parol officer, your detention officer, your local court judge, store clerks, bank clerks, clerks who work for the CIA, the president of the united states, the senator, the governor, and so much more! Buy a can of Bully-Be-Gone, and spray all your troubles away!"
A group of kids hold up cans of Bully-Be-Gone to the screen.
Group of kids: "Thanks Bully-Be-Gone!"
Announcer: "Warning, sideeffectsofBully-Be-... ichyness,dryness,swellingoffskin,explosivediarea,implosivediarea,projectilevomiting,turninginsideout, andkeelingoverunexpectedly. -Be-Gonemaynotberightforyou... Buy some today!"
-Screen changes channel-
-Credits Roll-
-Bonus Clip-
Psychiatrist is still beating David to a pulp, and Psychiatrist shoves an ink blot into David's face.
Psychiatrist: "This does NOT look like my MOMMA!"