Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings from Alice in Wonderland. This is for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: Well, I'm insane I guess. Rated M for a reason. This is gory, by the way.
Summary: Alice has been living in Wonderland Asylum for almost nine years, locked up in the same room with no hope. A child of eleven, framed by her very own parents to save a family that already destroyed itself, hidden away among bottled up emotions and terror. Alice has only known the likes of doctors and faded sunlight through a barred window. Even memories of her own image as a child cannot help her remember what other children actually looked like, let alone her elder sisters or baby brother.
Come into Wonderland Asylum. Meet Hatter, Red, C.C, the Tweedles, and many more to hear of the true tale of Wonderland. Hear the rumors whispered along the night wind, and watch the sunset through blood stained glass windows.
Just remember one thing . . .
We are all mad here.
What Alice Found There
Chapter One
My bare breasts were being gazed upon with heavy eyes. The scar below my left bosom showed no sign of healing anytime soon. Along my stomach lay a few more red scars, one of them still dripping with fresh blood. Doctor King shook his head in disbelief as a nurse swabbed the blood away with a ball of cotton. I hated physical examination day.
They found my razor blade lodged between the mattresses of my bed. How it got there, I don't quite remember. It had been three years since I put it there, and one since I planned on using it against myself. It was mere coincidence that I used it the night before my physical.
"Alice," Doctor King helped me sit up and said, "you know we were about to place you on the third floor. Why did you do this? Couldn't take one more day?"
I hated Dr. King. He instigated everything.
The nurse spoke, "She'll be fine. The cuts should heal soon. Might I reccommend giving her a slightly higher dosage of her medication? It might help, especially since tomorrow will be such a big change for her."
"Good idea, Irene." Dr. King sighed.
"More pills?" I asked.
His rough voice grinded against my eardrums, "More medicine will help you, Alice. Tell me, are you ready to move into a regular single room tomorrow morning?'
"Yes."
"Then you must accept our care and concern. Now, we confiscated your razor. Is there anything else we should know about before it's too late?"
It was already too late for my lost soul.
I simply said no.
My white gown lay on the floor. I picked it up and put it on, still feeling the heavy eyes on my exposed flesh. I was used to the emotional abuse they dealt me. Soon enough, I was escorted back into my white room, padded walls waiting to be hit with a tight fist and drenched with dry tears from months ago.
Wonderland Asylum, they called it. Famous for releasing patients that proved higher optimism, better hope, and even some gained religious experiences. The problem was, I never saw anyone leave. In fact, I've never seen anyone admitted either. I'd been stuck in the same room for nine years, only seeing the aging faces of doctors, nurses, and the occasional priest blessing my black heart. My eyes of blue had not seen the sun or moon for almost a decade. The tiny window in my room was barred and only alotted blurred sunlight to peek in from time to time. Such a purely white room held such sin. But I had not commited crime. Nor had I gone insane. Cutting myself was only a brief moment in time where I needed to prove I was still alive in this wretched asylum.
Wonderland.
Nine years in the same room with not one friend can drive one mad. When I first came here at age eleven, I made myself believe I had a guardian angel watching over me. Gradually, the angel became tired of me and left. I was fourteen when I stopped being religious. What God would place me in such a terrible place when I had done nothing wrong?
Sometimes before bed I would crawl under my sheets and close my eyes tight enough to see colors. I eventually learned how to imagine I was somewhere else where fields of green held nothing but beautiful daisies and red tulips.
I've forgotten that fantasy. I can't recall what flowers smell like. The doctor's office on this fifth floor has none. Nor does it have any color whatsoever. It's as white as these high protection rooms. The only thing different was the old oak desk Doctor King owned in the examination room.
When morning comes, I'll see people. I'll hear news. Perhaps tomorrow I will see a tulip and forever implant the perfection of its image into my memory once more. This time, I promise myself it won't fade.
--
"You stupid child!"
A cold hand slapped my face. It stung. My emotions were like the winds of a tornado, whirling and swirling without means of stopping.
My baby brother's face was blue. The pillow lie next to his head.
Father ran into the room. His shouting caused a ringing in my ears.
"There's no way to undo this." He said, "My boy is dead because of your selfishness."
Mother glared at me. "I couldn't help it. . ."
--
Sweat poured from my body. Another recollection of that horrible day in my sleep. My nightmares kept getting worse.
A loud knock at the door sent my nerves on a rampage.
"Good morning, Alice Liddel," Dr. King smiled. "Today is the day you move to the third floor. Are you ready?"
My feet hit the floor fast. I stood and approached my doctor.
"That's it, then. Come with me, please." He took my wrist in his hand and walked me out of my room.
The fifth floor hallway bade me farewell as I took the first step in nine years on the white stairwell. I remembered the very day I ascended them in agony. Now I was descending them with less agony and more indifference. Wonderland Asylum gave my breath back.
A sudden burst of a door one flight below us caused my feet to slip. I fell forwards, my wrist quickly escaping Dr. King's hold. I tumbled down the stairs and closed my eyes. How curious it was to fall down a flight of stairs for the first time in my life. It hurt my head and my back, but still amused me a bit.
"Are you ok?"
My head lie face-first on the tiled floor of the stairwell. The fourth floor door was beside me, and an unknown man in front of me. I lifted my head to see white fluffy slippers. The man was tall and lanky, his faded grey pants practically drooping off of his hips. The white shirt he wore had more holes in it than my memory.
"Are you ok?" He said again.
My eyes finally wandered to his face. He was pale like the building, but with more appeal to the naked eye. His thin lips merged into a small smile that could've been easily mistook as a frown.
Before I could answer, Dr. King helped me off of the floor.
"Wit Rebette, are you supposed to be out here?" Dr. King asked the man.
The albino answered, "I'm late."
Dr. King sighed. "For what?"
"Tea with the Queen of England."
"She's through those doors, Wit. Go to your room."
Wit smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "I mustn't be late, after all." He walked through the fourth floor door and disappeared.
I kept my comments hidden, as it wasn't my business what was wrong with anyone else. I had my own issues to care about.
My feet hit the stairs hard once more. I reached the third floor and pushed the door open. The bright light from the hall caused me to squint my eyes. Once they adjusted, I found myself at the end of a long hall of rooms. I had forgotten Wonderland Asylum was so spacious. A flashing image played behind my eyes; The brick, castle-like building would forever be my prison. A hopeless feeling washed over me. Even though I moved to another section of the asylum, I'd never escape.
"Here we are." Dr. King said.
Room twenty-four was mine. It was a few doors down from where i entered. I was on the more sane wing of the floor. The higher the number room, the worse the patient.
My room was no big deal. Everything was white, with the exception of pale pink flowers painted along the walls. It was a nice change, but nothing to celebrate. The color adjustment did not take away the annoyance of having to take more pills from now on.
"Do not leave this wing except to get your medicine and to have your physicals. Examinations are in office two down at the end of the hall. Your new doctor and nurse will tell you when to go. As for me, I'll be sending your personal information to your new doctor. You no longer need me." The softness in Dr. King's voice made me wonder if he'd miss me.
"Thank you," I said. "I'm sure everything will be fine."
With that said and done, Dr. King left my side.
My room had a window. It had no latch to open, but at least I could see the sky. And what a magnificent view it was. My heart skipped a beat. The green grass was three floors down, but I could imagine the feel of it between my toes. How I wish I could leave Wonderland and return home. . . wherever that was.