DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KICK-ASS OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS, THERE IS NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.
If you like, review!, If you don't like and have some constructive criticism instead of just flames, review!
Anyway, this was just kind of a stream of consciousness thing, I intend to put a little more effort into later chapters.
Have you ever been through an experience, that at the time, you absolutely hated, and then later-maybe months or even years later-you realized it was one of the best times of your life?
If you have, it was probably something mundane, college, high school, something like that. Not so in my case.
It's been five months since John Genovese died, since he had a meat cleaver buried vertically in his fucking skull. Five months since I had my balls fried by some gang-banger in a hoody. Five months since I saw dozens of men die by the hand of a ten year old little girl with the face of an angel and the ferocity of a devil.
Sometimes I still can't believe I escaped from Genovese's penthouse alive, I should probably be buried in a field somewhere, my poor seventeen year old body riddled with bullets and my nuts charred by a car battery.
I Guess "I Escaped" isn't the best choice of words, I should probably say "rescued", because if it hadn't been for Hit-Girl the aforementioned scenario would certainly be a reality. Hit-Girl. My savior, my foul mouthed, emasculating, sociopathic, pint sized savior.
Sometimes, when I stare at dad across the dinner table, or in the glow of our brand new flatscreen (bought with sympathy from co-workers upon hearing about his son's coma), I wonder what he would say, what he would do if he knew half the things I've seen, the places I've been, the things I've lived through.
Sometimes I feel guilty, guilty that despite his shit job and lack of real skills he's tried his damned hardest to give me a good life since the day I was born, and I pay him back by going out at night and hitting mobsters with sticks. Guilty that I secretly envy Hit-Girl's father, and the way that she was raised, the way lived.
Sometimes I feel elated, I feel superior to him, to everyone. I'm a fucking Superhero, I helped take down the biggest crime family in the state through the course of a couple hours, while he goes to bed at 8:00 sharp every night, why shouldn't I feel superior?
And then I feel like a jackass for thinking like that, remind myself that I'm not a superhero, just some dork in a wetsuit who would be dead if not for blind luck, and had to pretend to be gay to get his crush to even talk to him. Then I cry myself to sleep.
In case you haven't surmised it already, my home life is kind of pathetic, and school isn't much better.
For a few weeks after my big revelation of heterosexuality to Katie Deaumax, I kicked myself for telling her the truth, lamenting that I'd still be hanging out at her house and accompanying her on shopping sprees if it wasn't for my damned honesty. Lately though, I've realized it was probably for the best, it would've come out (no pun intended) sooner or later, it was probably best to get it over with then, and receive my well deserved ass-kicking, instead of just postponing the inevitable.
Katie makes it a point these days to rub up against Carl whenever they walk past me in the hallway, or make blowjob motions with her tongue, or really anything to humiliate me and make me feel like a total jackass.
Her friends still text me hate mail on occasion, I guess when they're bored and have nothing else to do;
"fuk you douchbag"
"go 2 hel fagot" (Particularly amusing considering the entire cause of this was my admitting to NOT being a..well..you know).
"u litl perverted freak"
"No wunder u had to pretend to be gey, theres no way katie wud ever talk to a geek lik u any other way"
Were some of the ones I received, among others.
And then, of course, there was the picture she texted me of her with a mouthful of Carl's dick. That was just mean. I Know what I did was shitty, but did it really warrant that level of taunting? I've considered uploading it to Facebook on more than one occasion, but I've never been able to bring myself to do it.
I Guess a delusional part of me thinks there might still be a chance with Katie as long as I don't do anything like that.
Anyway, my life sucks, and through all the suckage, my mind keeps going back to the night at Genovese's penthouse.
Sure, it was scary, hell, terrifying, but I felt alive, I didn't feel like the geek that spent all his money on scale models of obscure superheroes, I felt like a badass, beating the shit out of Red Mist, shooting the big man himself right in the fucking tunk, and then watching it all on the news later, knowing that no one would ever know I'd even been there.
Sure, I've been on a few patrols in the last couple of months, but the most exciting thing to happen on any of them so far was playing impromptu counselor to a drunk couple on the verge of physical violence outside a local bar.
And I know it's fucked up, but I actually feel nostalgic for that night, despite the fact that my head was still covered in scars from the beating Genovese's goons gave me, my balls would probably never produce sperm again, and of course, Hit-Girl's father had died there, right after revealing his and Hit-Girl's lives had been nothing but a big lie, fueled by boredom and comic books.
Somehow, I doubt Hit-Girl would have as fond memories of the night as I do.
Hit-Girl. After her father's death, she decided to give normal life a shot, she was even going to my school, but I could tell it was a struggle, you could see it in her eyes every time some asshole shoved her in the hallway, or some bitch told her she looked like a drag queen, the burning desire to punch, stab, shoot and dismember.
As hard as she tried, I think we both knew it would be an impossible battle, because we knew something neither her mother nor step-father did, Mindy McCready wasn't real, she didn't exist, she never had, there was only, and ever had been, Hit-Girl.
She had never really hung up her mask, she was wearing a mask now, what she had hung up was her true face, and there was no way it was going to stay hung up for long, sooner or later Hit-Girl was coming out, I just hoped it wasn't too ugly when it happend