Prologue: The Problem is All Inside Your Head

I was wearing a long, ivory dress. It was beautiful--soft with delicate and intricate embroidery on the top, and graceful cotton silk that came from somewhere under my breasts and trailed at my ankles. It had a low neckline and thin, tight straps. I felt utterly gorgeous in it, which was a completely new feeling for me. In this dress I was a goddess. It was a magnificent feeling, compared to my usual feeling of ordinary-ness.

My think, curly hair was in a complicated bun, and I had a few loose curls that tickled my face and fell down my neck. I could tell my cheeks were rosy from all the attention I was getting--but it was good attention. Strangely I embraced it, rather than shying away from it, as I would have done if this was any other day.

Any klutz will tell you no attention is good attention.

But tonight, that did not seem to be the case. I did not worry if I was about to trip, or if I had dirt all over my clothes from falling earlier, or if behind everyone's smiles they were really laughing at me because of that awful volleyball accident last week. I seemed to just know that things were alright, and that they were going to stay alright. Everything was going to be perfect, I was sure.

Standing in the middle of whatever room I was standing in, I was given many congratulations and well wishes towards the future. As I watched the happy people around me dance to sappy, romantic music that flowed in the background, I realized two things:

One, that I was at my own wedding reception, somehow.

And two, that I was in my own secret world--I was dreaming. That explained why I felt so confident and stunning, because that was the way I always wished I felt like in real life.

With that information, I could finally get a sense of what kind of room I was in; I hadn't even felt the need to examine the room before. The room was actually a giant ballroom, it's walls dark and deep, the colour of blood. A large glass chandelier floated above the dancers, and the light that shone from it made everything sharp and brilliant. On the north side of the giant dance floor, there was a massive table of food, cake, and wedding presents. People chatted near it, generally content.

On the south side of the room, there was a live band that seemed more like an orchestra to me. The voice of the band had a face that I couldn't quite see--it was unclear and fuzzy even under the dangerous and flinty lighting of the chandelier. She had wild, red hair, that much I could tell.

The rest of the space was crowded with people; some I recognized, some I didn't. That didn't seem to matter, though, because everyone there knew me.

"It's perfect, isn't it?" A magical, familiiar voice asked behind me after the line of condolences seemed to thin out. I turned around quickly, already knowing exactly who I would meet when I did. If this was my dream wedding, there was only one person on this whole planet who could be my groom...

He looked absolutely breathtaking, as usual. He wore a classic black tux that made him seem paler than normal. His stylishly un-kept hair seemed ruddier in the bright light, his eyes grass green like they were when we were 14, not darkish like they were in real life.

He was perfect, but that was something I could always count upon.

"Edward," I sighed, wishing that this fantasy was not fantasy, or if it had to be, that it would go on forever. I wished with every fiber of my being that he actually could love me as I did him. "It couldn't be better."

He smiled my favourite crooked smile. My heart raced, my mind buzzed, and my body tingled. Edward's smile only grew with my usual reaction, and stuck his hand out.

"Mrs. Masen, may I have this dance?" he asked, and there was nothing I wanted more. I took his hand and he pulled me closer to him--close enough that I could feel him against me, but far enough away that I was practically frantic with the need to be closer.

I could never be close enough to Edward. I could never, ever have enough of him. Even if I lived for an eternity, the need would never be fulfilled; the desire never gone. It was almost painful in a way, but that was only something I could always count upon. The hole in my heart that ached every single day was something that was forver, because the only person who could fill it never would.

Dancing as Man and Wife--this would probably be the happiest moment in my life, because at least I had him, even for only a moment.

I found myself staring into Edward's eyes, finding that he was staring as intently into mine. I felt as if I were looking in a mirror: all I could see in his green eyes was the love and passion I knew mine held.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," I confessed almost shyly, my body burning with him.

"We can." He leaned into kiss me, as if sealing this impossible promise. Our lips touched softly, a kiss not of great passion or lust, but of one true love.

I would not have had it any other way.

We pulled apart, and he just held me in his arms as we swayed to the music. I thought I must be glowing, I felt so alive and whole and happy.

I felt so acutely that nothing could go wrong in this dream, so I did not feel nervous when I saw the hazy faced red haired singer walk over to us, her face becoming clearer the closer she came. By the time she reached us, I knew her--she was Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother. Her bronze hair matched his perfectly, and I wondered why she looked so menacing when he did not.

It was not until she leaned over Edward, her hands clamped tightly on his shoulders that I noticed her eyes. They were penetrating, and also were the same exact shade as her bronze hair.

I could not move as she moved her lips to his neck, her sharp teeth piercing slowly into his white neck.

I could not scream as he grew limp in my arms, his mother hurrying off into the dense, smiling crowd.

And I awoke to the sound of my own harsh breathing--the sound of his heartbeat as it became one with mine long enough for it to beat one last time.