My decent to the dark side, as I have come to call it, wasn't by choice. But, rather by my need to survive in order to protect my son, who has become my entire life. He is all I have to remind me of his father. A man I haven't seen in over four years. I harbor no hard feelings or anger towards him. And I pray every night that he will be returned me, to us, unharmed. I am writing this in hopes that someday he'll be able to read this and understand why I had to do it? Why I had to betray his trust?
I didn't made the deal with the devil right away. I held out hope that he'd return but soon that hope faded just like the leaves on the trees. The months began to pass us by in a whirlwind of color. Things began to change and grow. William, my son, was growing from a infant into a toddler. He was happy and healthy but the most amazing out of it all was that he was normal. On his first birthday was when I was approached by Satan himself, a cigarette hanging from his lips.
I was appalled by what he was offering me. A chance, he had called it, to live a normal life. But it came at a price. I had to give up my work on the X-Files and leave the FBI to work for him. I resisted intently for months but I came to realize that it was the only option I had. I no longer had my touchstone to draw my strength from and it scared me. For once in my life I had come to the conclusion that I was entirely alone. I remember the exact date that I stepped over the line into the darkness. September 21, 2002. A date that will forever haunt my dreams.
He knew. The cigarette smoking bastard knew that I would take him up on the offer. He showed up on my doorstep with a moving crew. I didn't even have to contact him. He just knew. I watched in numb horror as my things were packed into boxes and shipped out the door. He took it upon himself to set up a house for me and William, he had said. It was in a good neighborhood in the suburbs of Virginia and close to the place of my new employment, Price Pharmaceuticals. During all of this his arm was always resting around my shoulder, like a concerned father. It made me sick.
Everything about him made me sick. His smell, years and years of cigarette smoke. His voice, like a hollow tunnel that threatened to swallow your very soul. But most of all, the way that he interacted with William, that literally made me want to run to the bathroom and lose the days meal. He was sickly sweet and always bringing him toys. He acted like a normal grandfather would. He became apart of our lives, much to my distress. William had become attached to his 'Grandfather'. And I didn't dare take away that little bit of happiness from him.
My job was demanding but the hours were good and I was being paid more than a decent wage. It challenged me as a scientist and a rational person. The things that I was shown would have blown Mulder's mind. I was exposed to the 'Truth', fully and without boundaries. I was given information to complete my work that was mind boggling. And I can say, with great certainty, that I believe now. I have the proof that I needed, I'm just sad that it wasn't you giving it to me.
I miss you Mulder. That is another thing I am certain of. I want you to know about William and how much he looks like you. I want you to know that I love you and always have. I'm out of that world now, it only took me seven years. I completed my work months ago. A vaccine was created with my help. One that was stable and would protect the population from colonization. I just wish you were here to be apart of this family. Maybe then he'd leave us alone. Maybe then Satan would retreat back into the depths of hell. He's afraid of you Mulder, he always has been. And I fear that you're the only one that can save us from retreating with him.
With Love,
Dana Scully
Former FBI Agent Dana Scully looked over the letter for the last time. It amazed her that her story could be told on one piece of paper, front and back. Would the letter be well received or would he just tear it up and throw it away without even opening it? With a sigh, she folded the letter and placed it inside an already addressed envelope. She remembered the day she got the address, it was the worst and best day of her life. It had taken over two years to track down her elusive ex-partners cooky, out of this world, friends. It surprised her even more to find out that they shared a studio apartment in Georgetown along with Mulder, who appeared one night, a year and a half ago, with no memories of where he had been or what had happened to him. It was that information that prompted her to write the letter in the first place. Glancing away from the, now, sealed envelope, she focused on boy that had just appeared at her side. She smiled as chocolate brown eyes pined her. "Couldn't sleep, Will?" She asked her seven year old son.
"No, momma. The night terrors keep coming." William's lower lip began to tremble as his fragile composure began to waver.
Shaking her head, Dana gathered her son into her arms and cuddled him close. "What was this one about?" She didn't know why he called nightmares, night terrors, but she knew they were terrifying to him no matter their name.
Will shook his head, not wanting to talk about it. He rested his head on his mothers shoulder and sighed in contentment.
Dana sighed and tightened her grip on the trembling child. "I'm here, little one." She whispered into his ear. "You're safe now."
"Why was Grandfather angry when he was here last time?" Will asked after several minutes of silence.
"How do you know your Grandfather was angry?" Dana asked, forcing herself to stay calm.
Will chewed on his lower lip and raised his head to look at his mother directly in the eye. "Because I heard yelling." He said, quietly. "And he didn't tell me goodbye when he left." He dropped his eyes and began to pick at his mothers sweater.
Dana frowned. "He was upset because I told him that we were moving." She explained.
"And he doesn't want us to go?" Will questioned, processing the new information as he went. "Why do we have to go anyways?"
"I explained this already, Will." Dana pushed her chair back and sat the boy and the edge of her desk so she could have her arms free. "We have to go because it's time for us to move on. I know it's difficult to accept change but this is what I feel is best for both of us." She kept her voice soothing and calm. "I think you'll like D.C. and I know you'll make a lot of new friends. Doesn't that sound exciting?" She knew her son was outgoing and loved to meet new people and make new friends.
Will considered the question then nodded his head causing shaggy red hair to fall in his eyes. "I love you momma." He finally said, reaching forward and wrapping his small arms around his mother.
Dana smiled. "And I love you too, little man." She wrapped her arms around him and when she began to release him, she tickled his sides. "Gotcha!"
"Nu uh!" Will protested as he giggled and began to wiggle trying to escape his mothers offending hands. "You cheated!" He informed her once the tickle assault was over.
"Mothers are allowed to cheat." Dana said with a fond smile. She ruffled his hair then sat him on the floor. "Why don't you go back to your room and finish packing now that you're awake? I'll be in a little later to check on your progress."
Will nodded and rushed back to his bedroom, nightmare or night terror, completely forgotten.
Dana's smile faded once the boy was back in his room. She reached down and picked up the letter, it had fallen on the floor during their tickle fight. "He deserves a father." She said to herself as she stood, moving away from her desk and towards the front door. She stopped to pull on a jacket before stepping out into the cool air of the night. She didn't need to look up to know that there was a full moon. She headed down the street and stopped at the mailbox that sat there. Without another glance, she dropped the letter inside and headed back to her house. Once inside, she stripped off her jacket, locked the door, and headed for her sons room where she smiled at the sight. Will was asleep in the middle of a pile of clothes. She thought about moving him to the bed but didn't want to disturb his sleep. So without a sound, she left his room and headed for her own. When the letter had fallen into the dark interior of the mailbox, a deep wariness overtook her. Soon not only her life but the life of her son would be turned upside down. As she fell into bed, she couldn't help but smile. Even if Mulder wanted nothing to do with her or William, she'd still go back to D.C. and start over. Start over away from alien invasions and predicted colonizations; she and William had been the first ones vaccinated. Start over away from prying eyes and secret government conspiracies. And most importantly, start over away from Satan's influence and reach. Washington D.C. was a safe haven for her and her son. And that was what she dreamed about once sleep finally claimed her.