Started at 3:22 am Thursday morning
April 12th, 2007
Finished at 3:13 pm Thursday afternoon
April 12th, 2007
Summary: Matt had never believed in a god of any kind, and absolutely resfused to believe in heroes. He could not, however, so easily dismiss his best friend.
Rated: T for sexual implications and language
Disclaimer: Death Note isn't mine. If it was, Matt and Near would be living happily in a little love triangle centered around Mello, and Kira would be shot to death by Matsuda.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fully Shounen-ai fic, and in all honesty, I like to think that I did a half decent job in writing it. Reviews and constructive criticism are loved. Flames aren't, though.
Leather Clad God
Matt had never believed in a god of any kind, and would never believe in heroes. He could not, however, so easily dismiss his best friend. That's why, when Mello finally showed up on his doorstep, he resisted the urge to push him down the stairs, and let him into his smoke filled apartment. Mello is as close to a god as this world will ever see, or at least, that's Matt's opinion on it. Because Mello rules his life and late in the night Matt whispers his name like a silent prayer while two sets of legs are entwined beneath sweat soaked sheets, and in all reality, Mello is Matt's god, whether he's admitted it to himself or not.
Mello, to put it simply, is just like moonlight. He's untouchable, no matter how close to him you are. The light will caress your skin in the dead of the night and it'll see all the secret sin's that you commit. But by the morning it will be as though nothing has happened, leaving Matt to once again wait for the sun to go down. And each time it does he prays to his leather clad god that it won't be the last time, because the only thing that scares him about death is that he won't be with Mello anymore.
Though Matt may or may not be aware of it yet, Mello knows all to well that he's been Matt's god since childhood, and he relishes in that fact, because it's the only time that he feels like he's number one. Because late in the night, Near doesn't have a sleeping red head lying next to him, doesn't have his legs entwined with a set of all to skinny legs, and he doesn't get to listen to the rhythmic heartbeat that belongs to Matt alone.
Mello and alcohol, Matt has learned, is never a good combination. Though one would probably never guess it, Mello stayed away from alcohol for most of his life, due to the fact that if you drink enough it begins to destroy your brain cells, and with Near around that just wasn't an option.. Matt has to wonder, whenever he watches Mello down another mouthful of Vodka, just how many brain cells it must really be destroying, because whenever he gets drunk enough he gets just a little clingy, wrapping his arms around Matt's waist and whispering apology after apology into his ear until he finally falls asleep with Matt's arm still wrapped around his shoulder.
Matt would never know it, but there was always a reason for Mello's apologies, a theory to his madness one could say. Matt never caught on to the fact that Mello only got drunk when they'd had a fight, or if Matt had gotten hurt while helping him in trying to catch Kira and to best Near. One of the secret things that Matt would never find out about, however, is the fact that Mello is a sadistic, selfish bastard, and he's dragging Matt down with him into the depths of hell so that he'll at least have one familiar face when he gets there. Because even though Matt is openly and proudly Atheist, Mello has always been Agnostic, he believes in Heaven and Hell, and the only thing that scares him about death is that Matt won't be with him.
They both pretend that everything will be alright in the end, and that Mello will come out on top like he so rightfully deserves. That Kira will be put in jail, or better yet, killed, and that Near will finally be put in the place of second like he should have been all those years ago. But they both know the truth, know that they'll both die in this little war between the three of them, but neither one of them says a thing about it, and they both complain about trivial things like it will actually make a difference in the future, knowing all to well that now that the two of them are caught up in all of this that neither one of them actually has a future anymore. That's why whenever Mello complains about the smoking, Matt just laughs, and continues inhaling the sweet cancer, knowing full well that Mello won't make any move to stop him, because both of them know that Matt will be long since dead before any kind of cancer can claim the thing that he calls his life, and Mello is left to pray to the god he doesn't fully believe in that just maybe he or Near will catch Kira before Matt really does die helping him.
In all honesty, Matt wants to believe that Mello is a God. Because Gods are supposed to protect the world from the wicked. Because Gods are almighty, and they always come out on top. Because Gods are supposedly omnipresent. Because Gods don't die. And so, Matt wishes with all his might that Mello really is a Leather Clad God, because if he is a God, Matt will never be alone again.