Oh, hey, look, it's a Wells POV chapter! I know I said Clarke was going to be next, but that was not working out, so here we are. It's another short one, just so you know.
Please note, this is PART SEVEN of the series. Make sure you are reading from the beginning! Here is the order in case you're a new reader. :)
1. I can't help the fuss, I'd trade it for quiet (Clarke POV)
2. there are answers here, they're just harder to figure out (Bellamy POV)
3. I am quiet now, and silence gives you space (Jasper POV)
4. was using loneliness, and now it's using me (Clarke POV)
5. now I feel so saturated, oh I'd rather be serrated (Octavia POV)
6. so i will smile, and i'll keep you close (Monty POV)
And now this one! You can find all of the stories just by clicking on my username. :D
Title is from "Heart to Tell" by The Love Language. (A great song, you should listen to it!)
You had plans for this year - you had plans for your future - but you're rewriting them now because almost all of them involved Clarke, and she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. Maybe it was stupid, maybe you're some kind of romantic at heart, but you really did believe that the two of you had something real, something that would last, not just through high school, but throughout your lives.
You'd seen each other at your best and at your worst. Clarke was there through the long months of your mother's illness, and you held her hand at her father's funeral. Those were the hardest two years of your lives, but they only cemented the one thing you knew was a universal constant - that the two of you would always be there for each other, no matter what.
You keep flashing back to that stupid party, the night everything fell to pieces. Clarke had called you early that afternoon, right after you got home from the last day of soccer tryouts.
"There's a party at your house tonight?" she'd asked, instead of saying hello. You'd paused, trying to work out how she'd even heard about it - you'd only just finalized the plans this morning, it was supposed to be at Murphy's house, but his mom had cancelled her weekend plans, and anyway, you had a pool. You weren't sure why she was even asking about, either. You and Clarke spent a lot of time together, but she tended to avoid team functions - and your dad's political events, but that was a different story entirely.
"Yeah," you'd finally answered, "the whole team's coming," and then it had clicked. Jasper. Clarke's stepbrother was an incoming sophomore trying out for the team, and in your opinion, an easy choice to make it. Several of the new kids had potential, so you were hopeful that maybe the team wouldn't be quite as terrible this season. Jasper was one of them - the kid was actually a pretty good player - or at least, he wasn't any worse than the rest of you.
Bellamy must have invited him, which meant Jasper was on the team for sure. It was a Rocketeer tradition - every summer, at the end of tryouts, the seniors threw a party and invited all the new guys to "welcome" them to the team. Your welcoming involved pink glitter and you will never speak of it again - the seniors that year were especially creative, you guess. You doubted Bellamy had anything that elaborate in mind.
"Well, Jasper's excited about it," Clarke was saying, "but I don't know. I have bad feeling." The thing is, so did you - you felt unsettled, like you were on the edge of something, but the feeling was too nebulous, too uncertain for you to act on. And then Clarke had said, "You'll keep an eye on him, won't you?" and you had to make a choice.
You should have told her, right then and there. You'll probably spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you'd said something to her, or warned Jasper, or if you hadn't just gone along with Bellamy. But you thought about the pranks you'd seen over the past few years, and how they'd always been harmless, and everyone had laughed them off.
So you said, "Of course I will," and you didn't regret it until later that night - until Jasper never came back up from the bottom of the pool, until you saw the blood in the water, until the ambulance lights and sirens, until Clarke was shouting at you in the hospital parking lot, because you'd said you'd look out for him, and you'd lied.
You'd hoped that maybe things would get better between you and her once Jasper woke up, once you knew he would be alright. But then your father had gotten the authorities to officially declare it an accident, keeping you and a Bellamy and all the other upperclassman out of trouble, and keeping his own chances of reelection afloat. You knew he didn't have a choice, he had to do something - it wouldn't do for the Mayor's son to be wrapped up in a hazing scandal - but you also knew that Clarke would never forgive you all for getting away with what happened.
It's been radio silence with Clarke since the night of the party. She won't answer your calls or texts, she won't even look at you in class. She comes to all of the soccer games with Jasper, but she won't talk to you there, either. You tried waiting by her locker the first day of school, but that was disastrous, and you're smart enough that you haven't tried it again.
Too bad you're not smart enough to give up altogether. Maybe she needs time, you keep thinking, or maybe you have to show her that you're still there for her, still on her side. You've finally got a chance to do exactly that. You know she'll be mad at you for this, but she hates your guts anyway, so it's not like you can make things any worse.
You parked your car right by hers - she'll be mad about that, too - and you're waiting for her in the parking lot after school, leaning up against your car, and drumming your fingers nervously as cars speed out of the lot, anxious to try and beat the traffic. You see her before she sees you - she's cutting through rows of parked cars, with Jasper right on her heels. What you should do is retreat now, while you still have the chance. You should accept that this is a terrible plan, and hop in your car, and drive away. You don't.
When she does catch sight of you her whole demeanor changes. You can see her face twist up from here, and her shoulders get stiff and tense. She used to be happy to see you. Right now she looks like she wants to get in her car and run you over.
Maybe this wasn't such a great plan after all.
The next part will be Clarke FOR SURE, and it will pick up exactly where this one left off. I have no idea when I will get that, or any other fics done - the school year is winding down, and I have a lot to get done, like report cards, and packing up my room, and a million other things, but I write when I can.
I want to thank everyone that is taking the time to read, I really hope you are enjoying this as much as I am! :)
