Disclaimer : I don't own them...not now not ever :(

Summery: Steve McQueen's reactions to some unwelcomed house guests

Steve McQueen Is Not Pleased

Steve McQueen was not pleased by this, no, not pleased at all.

Now, normally he was a rat of solitude, content with being left alone to run his wheel round, or nibble at his food dish, but this, this thing… was not acceptable.

Steve didn't get it, he was fuzzy, he was cuddly, and he, most importantly, did not drool all over everything like that giant mongrel that was lying on his couch was doing right now. Come on, it was a nice couch, and his owner was letting this beast make it smell worse than the time he hadn't cleaned his cage for three weeks. That was not a good time in my life, Steve remembered.

Now normally he'd never of suspected his master to do something like this to him. He remembered a very cheerful, very skinny woman at the door with this unbearably stupid looking thing at her side. Next thing he knew, she was gone and there this…Shit-for-breath house pet was ripping the top off his cage. Next time this cheery woman came around to get her big, fat, toothy animal back, he was going to bite her. Escape his confines and bite her where the sun don't shine.

"Happy," as his owner called it,( yes this woman named it Happy, it was indeed…very happy, Steve was going to have to fix that) was an excruciatingly annoying thing; he could even see his owner popping more little pills into his mouth than he normally did. That was not a good sign. But Steve was glad he was the only pet loved in this household. God forbid he'd have to share his owner.

Steve squeaked for his owner, but got no response, due to the loud barking that was demanding attention. He could see his owner getting increasingly impatient and before he knew it the two of them were locked away from "happy" in the bedroom. He saw his master let out a sigh and squeaked again.

"Cameron has agreed to do my clinic duty for three months…but now I'm stuck with Satan digging through my garbage and drooling on my furniture. Should have taken the clinic duty."

Of course Steve McQueen had no idea what was going on right now, but squeaked in approval none-the-less.

His master took him out and held him on his lap.

"I'm going to have to go back out there aren't I?"

Stave shot him a "I'm very sorry" sort of look.

"Damn it I thought so… I won't do it."

Steve nibbled his fingers.

"Cameron will be back tomorrow, to get "it" back, thank god."

Steve simply stared.

"We can hide out in here till she gets back."

"Squeak"

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The doorbell rang and Steve sat upon his owners shoulder as they greeted the woman walking inside.

He'd wait for the opportune moment to get his revenge.

His owner and the woman stood talking for a while before he noticed the gap between them was beginning to grow smaller by the second. He watched from his shoulder seat as the two began to do something else he most definitely did not approve of. He wasn't sure what it was they had begun to do, but he should not be touching her…why did he need to be touching her? Could she not breathe? Good let her die, we don't like her and her mangy mutt anyways.

He crawled down, looking for his target.

Bingo!

"Ouch, holy shit!"

Steve McQueen sat pleased with himself on the floor and hurriedly scurried up on the couch to better watch the scene unfold.

"House, your rat bit me on the ass!"

AN: R&R tell me what you think