Everything's Gonna Be Fine
The tears stung Phil's face, it was just his luck that the one thing he thought would work right now was being thrown back in his face. Dan was sat on the sofa with his head in his hands, his dark hair covering all emotion from Phil's blurry gaze.
He was standing in front of Dan waiting for the answer he wanted so badly. He didn't know what to do. How could this be happening again?
"Well…?" was the only word he was able to get out before he choked up again.
Dan flinched, he felt fucking horrible for Phil crying like this and wished he could right the wrong that had been done, but he couldn't. Not this time anyway. The only thing he could do was give good advice so he sat there wracking his brain. It came up blank. He sighed and lifted his head to meet Phil's tear streaked face. Even though he knew now was definitely not the best time to feel like this Dan still got butterflies that gave him goosebumps, he wanted to get up and hug him and wipe his eyes so he knew everything would be alright. Even that would be a bit weird on straight guy terms though, so he wiped the idea of kissing him and forgetting about everything except Phil from his mind. Dan wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he had more than a 'best friend' love for Phil. Dan's mind trailed away from the present and back to days alone with Phil…he then remember the task in hand.
"I'm really sorry to hear about…you and her Phil…but you just gotta suck it up and move on, there's plenty more fish in the sea." Dan faked a smile to comfort the other boy. That, Dan thought, was fucking terrible. He got up to pat Phil on the shoulder as he sniffed and wiped his nose on his hand.
"Yeah Dan, you're right…thanks." He squeezed Dan's arm and then both boys broke contact.
"It just really sucks when you get dumped y'know?" Phil said, still breathing jaggedly. He combed his hand through his hair and closed his eyes.
Dan bit his lip, he knew exactly what Phil meant. Phil had been dumped twice now since they had moved into the flat together, both the girls had been heartless bitches and Dan had no idea what Phil had seen in them. He knew it was only a matter of time until he would go round picking up the pieces of Phil's broken heart again.
"yeah mate, it really does suck…cup of tea help?" Dan walked past Phil, brushing his arm slightly which resorted in him shuddering.
"Yeah, that would be nice." Dan heard Phil sit down as he reached for the kettle. He didn't know how long he would be able to stay in a cycle of Phil going out with girls whilst Dan sat at home and hoped and waited for Phil to be single again, even though nothing would happen between them and Dan never wanted to see Phil hurt. He heard him chuckle.
"What is it?" Dan asked, turning round.
Ah nothing, just thinking that I might have better luck with love if I dated guys instead." Dan dropped the mug he was holding which luckily hit the work surface and didn't break.
"What?" He's just joking, he's just joking, he's just joking. Dan chanted in his head. Phil was lying on the sofa with his head facing the ceiling and his eyes closed.
"Did I never tell you I'm bi?" He said, with a tinge of something strange in his voice that Dan couldn't make out. Phil opened one eye to stare at Dan, trying to read his expression with no luck.
Dan's poker face faltered and his brow creased.
"I know you're not in the best of moods Phil, but there's no need to take the fucking piss." He hit the work surface and saw Phil sit up, he couldn't read the strange expression on his face so turned away quickly and stormed out of the room.
Before he realised what he was doing Dan was out the front door, down the stairs of the flat and out into the empty street.
How could Phil have been so inconsiderate? He sighed loudly, walking quickly down the street, he could see his breath crystallising in the air, it was pitch black, probably about 11:30 and Dan was now the one crying. The tears stung his face as the wind turned them icy cold, trickling down his cheeks.
He then remembered it was the beginning of December and he'd just stormed out the flat with just a T shirt and skinny jeans on.
"Shit…" He mumbled to himself as he slowed down a bit, folding his arms across his cheats and hunching his shoulders to stay warm. Every fibre in his body was screaming at him to go back in the warmth but his pride wouldn't let him.
He stopped at a bench and slumped his body into it like a moody teenager. Why can't I stop crying? He heard running footsteps
"Dan! Dan..? Dan, please! I need to talk to you!" The voice was round the corner and Dan didn't know whether to stay and face Phil or run. It was too late anyway, Phil had seen him. Dan Breathed in sharply and wiped his eyes.
Phil jogged over and sat next to him. He felt warm against Dan's freezing arms, Dan flexed his hands to keep the blood running through the numbness.
"You're freezing…" Phil whispered and grasped both of Dan's hands in his. They looked at each other.
"I saw you didn't have a jacket so…" Phil took one hand away from the tangle to place a jacket Dan hadn't seen onto his lap, he quickly put it on. This had required the boys to both have empty hands once again.
"Thanks." Dan mumbled and sniffed.
"You've been crying…" Phil leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose like he was trying to stop a headache.
"Well, you know I get enough crap from other people about who I like. I thought you accepted that and would stick up for me, not-" Dan stopped in his tracks. The rant could wait. Phil was now right in front of him, their lips millimetres apart.
"I wasn't kidding Dan…" Phil smiled slightly as the gap between them was filled. Dan had butterflies more than ever but didn't care. This can't be happening…Dan thought, but it really was. This time Dan wasn't dreaming. Phil pulled away and gazed into the other boys eyes. Dan kept moving his mouth like he was about to say something but nothing came out. The corners of Phil's mouth raised again at this.
"I…need to explain, please come home?" Phil raised his hand to rest on Dan's cheek which was still cold, he closed his eyes as Phil pressed his forehead to his.
"Okay." Dan whispered as the two boys linked hands and walked back.
They both stepped through the door of the flat together. Phil walked a couple paces and then stopped. Dan had grabbed his arm to make him turn around, his eyes questioning.
"I've known for a while that you've liked me Dan…" The boy in question blushed and Phil took his hand to reassure him. "I just…didn't want to mess it up like I do with everything else y'know? Me and you…I just think it sounds so perfect and if I hurt you I'd never forgive myself" Phil closed his eyes and breathed out loudly. "I really like you Dan, you have no idea."
Before they could think about it their lips were pressed together again, this time with more urgency. Dan had his hands in Phil's hair and Phil had his arms round Dan's waist, pulling his T shirt up to get to his back.
"But…you like girls Phil, you're straight, what are you saying?" Dan couldn't quite get his head round any of it, he thought this would only live in his mind, not the here and now.
"I've hidden it form everyone Dan, I'd go out with girls coz I wanted to seem normal, I did like them…kinda, but the only reason they dumped me was coz they knew something wasn't right and you were it Dan, you're the one person I always come back to and can never stop thinking about." Phil's cheeks flushed, but Dan's smile was uncontrollable. Phil saw it and laughed, Dan kissed him again.
"Y'know I never actually got that tea Dan…" Phil chuckled apologetically for ruining the moment but Dan didn't care. He would quite happily have the moment ruined for tea now since he knew they had all night to carry on.
"I'll do it now mate" Dan said and walked into the kitchen with that uncontrollable smile still etched onto his face. It would probably never leave his face now.