Were I come from we believe in all sorts of things that aren't true—

We call it 'history.'

A man's called a traitor or liberator,

A rich man's a thief or philanthropist,

Is one a crusader or ruthless invader?

It's all in which label is able to persist.

These are precious few at ease with moral ambiguities,

So we act as though they don't exist!"

- Wicked "Wonderful"

Lina's POV

Sighing, I brushed imaginary lent off of my dress before clasping my hands. Nothing quite said boredom like Sunday sermons in a small village. Light snores could be heard from beside me as Val dozed through the most recent speech of fire and brimstone. I try to nudge him awake, but he merely swats my hand away like an annoying fly. I quickly have to suppress the urge to fireball the little twit.

"And as our Sovereign said, 'Woe to the women who sew magic charms on all their wrists and make veils of various lengths for their heads in order to ensnare people. Will you ensnare the lives of my people but preserve your own?'"

Father Oswine pauses in his speech for a moment, his eyes seeking me out of the crowd. My fingers twitch once more with the urge to fireball something. Really, Sylphiel would be very proud of me if she could see the amount of restraint I've put to use in this damn village.

"'I am against your magic charms with which you ensnare people like birds and I will tear them from your arms; I will set free the people that you ensnare like birds.'" A few people to the left of me nod their agreement to the recited verse and I know that I'm in for an ear full once this sermon is over.

"Those were the words spoken by our great maiden before she set our people free from the dark cruelty of magic. Shall we spit on those words? Will we, as good and faithful people, ignore what is before our very eyes? No!"

Ah hell, the pastor was really getting into this.

"Rise up my children, face evil in the eye, and declare to it that darkness will have no sway over you!"

Why is that annoying pastor looking at me again? Really, can't he go one damned Sunday without declaring me the root of all evil?

"Now, let us gather under the radiant light of our fair maiden and sing our praises."

Oh yay, singing. Now I remember what is worse then Sunday morning sermons, Sunday morning singing by tone deaf people. Subtly, I again attempt to nudge Valgaav into the realm of consciousness and this time he actually startles awake instead of swatting me away—which had nothing to do with the use of a low powered monovolt.

Valgaav glares at me for a moment before rolling his eyes and standing to sing his praises to the holy maiden with the rest of us shmucks.

"Oh, holy maiden that shines so bright,

Let us forever walk in your light,

Bask in your love,

And uphold your justice!

For on our own we are weak,

And on our own we will lose our way,

So love us and hold us,

That we may forever know your light!"

One day I will figure out who the hell wrote these obnoxious hymns and delete them from the annals of history. Oh yes, that would certainly be a 'blessed' day.

As the song draws to a close, the pastor finally allows his arms to fall from their raised position. "Thank you. Now please take this last moment of worship to silently reflect on you walk with the holy maiden, Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun."

Now that was a minute or two I was unwilling to waist. Signaling Valgaav, I silently stood up and snuck out of the church, preferably before Father Oswine got his grubby little hands on me.

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Authors Note:

You don't even want to know how long this fic has been in my head. Lets just say it puts "Of Teddy Bears and Kingdoms" to shame on that account (and Teddy Bears was in my head for a year or two before I wrote it down). I decided to put this fic on paper because I've recently been running into writer's block on my other stories. Don't worry, I plan to continue the other stories as soon as I figure out how.

So the 'bible quotes' are real bible quotes and can be found in Ezekiel 13:18, 20. Also I stole Father Oswine's name from the Patron saint of betrayal victims. I suck at naming characters so I figured I'd just steal it. It defiantly feels weird stealing from the Catholic Church. I feel like I should be smote now.

Anyways, it's been a really long time since I've played with Slayers so please give me your thoughts. Thanks for reading!