Pain. Searing pain. Death. Pain. It hurts. Save me. Save me!
Her own scream shook her awake. Frantically searching for her wand, Hermione whispered into the darkness, "Lumos." With the new light, she was able to take in her surroundings. She found herself in Ginny's room, alone. Moonlight shone through the cracks in the blinds; it only made her shaking more visible. Over and over again, Hermione could only hear one word. It permeated the otherwise silent night. It was a word that pained her to think, pained her to hear, pained her to feel. She couldn't get it out of her head. It was constant and relentless.
Crucio. Crucio. Crucio. Not one night since the fall of Voldemort had passed where Hermione didn't wake with a raw throat and in a cold sweat. Crucio. Crucio. Crucio. Always followed by the same cold cruel laugh. The same nightmare every night for a month.
Ginny would often sleep in her parents room, seeking the comfort of the familiar; she needed her mother and father. Ginny had her own demons to keep at bay. Ron and Harry would sleep in Ron's room, neither one fully comfortable sleeping alone; neither one allowed to sleep with the ones they needed most. George stayed in what was now his room, still trying to get used to the gut wrenching silence. And Percy was trying not to blame himself anymore. It was constantly quiet; always somber.
Every time anyone turned around, there was always one section; one place no matter where, that at least one painful memory lingered. The table where Fred would make his early morning jokes. The doorway where Tonks and Lupin arrived for Harry's birthday. Hogwarts stood for nothing but terrible reminders of the missing pieces. Hermione, Ron, and Harry had yet to be able to bring themselves to visit it's halls. Hermione wondered if anything could bring her back.
Blinking, Hermione wrapped her arms around herself and let the tears fall freely. She'd spent enough nights crying lately, and hated to waste another in the same fashion. She couldn't help herself though. When she'd forced herself to have enough, she brushed at her cheeks and tried to calm down. Mulling over what to do to calm herself, she chose to take a shower. Opting against apparition so as not to awaken anyone with the crack of appearing, she opened the door and nearly tripped over the body in front of it. She placed a hand over her mouth so that she wouldn't cry loudly. Ron was fast asleep, guarding Hermione in the night. Stepping over him, she dashed into the bathroom and cast colloportus and muffliato.
She turned on the water and climbed into the shower, her bedclothes still on. Sitting down, she let the jets pour on her. She closed her eyes, willing the water to wash away the sorrows of the past year. She thought of happiness.
When the three of them had met. What a fantastic friendship. What fun they'd had that year. And then Quirrell died in possession of Voldemort. No.
There was the year they met Professor Lockhart. Even though he had been nothing but a buffoon, it was still something that brought a smile to Hermione's face. But then that was also the year Ginny suffered at the hands of Voldemort. No.
The year they met Lupin and Sirius. Harry finally had someone to fill a part of the void in his heart. Lupin and Sirius are both dead. No!
The year of the world cup; Cedric died and Voldemort returned. Stop!
The year that they formed the D.A... because of Umbridge and then they lost Sirius. Please…stop.
The year she knew Ron cared. But Lavender Brown interfered and Dumbledore died. And Lavender was now dead. Tonks. Professor Lupin. Dobby. Colin. Sirius. Fred. Professor Moody. Professor Snape. Even Bathilda Bagshot. Everything has changed. Crucio. Crucio. Crucio. She screamed. She screamed again and then she screamed a little bit more. But she had cast the silencing charm and no one was coming.
Save me. No one's coming Hermione. No one is going to save you this time.
She brought her hands to her face and sobbed. "I am stronger than this! I can't let her win. I can't lose myself. I can't. I won't." Crucio. Crucio. Crucio. And then there was that wicked laugh. Hermione used her wand to dry herself off.
Another unchanged night. Another night completely gone. She opened the door and almost stumbled into Ron again. He had moved from the front of Ginny's room to the front of the bathroom. I'm stealing his sleep away too.
She knelt down to brush the hair out of his closed eyes. "Muffliato is the worst spell there is," he whispered. Hermione fell to her bottom. "I'm so sorry Ron, did I wake you?"
He sat up. "No. I can't sleep anymore." She averted his eyes. "You too, huh?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I can't sleep if you're not in the room Hermione. I have to know you're okay and you haven't been."
"Ron, I'm fine." Yet even as she said it, she could feel her pulse quicken with her lie. She couldn't tell Ron. Then he'd know she was weak. Then he'd know she was flawed and broken. He can't know. Then he'd hate her. "You're lying Hermione. Every night you cast that damn silencing charm. But not tonight. You forgot it on Ginny's room tonight Hermione."
She snapped her jaw shut. "What did you hear?"
He brought his fingers to her cheek. "A sound I never want to hear from you again. I don't know what spell you cast, but I nearly broke my wand trying to unlock the door." Hermione felt more tears well up in her eyes.
"Ron, I can't sleep anymore and I don't want to disturb anyone. So yes, I lock the door and muffle my nightmares."
Ron pulled her into his arms. "I can't sleep anymore either. I've already said I need you in the room. I need to know you're alright. I decided if I can't be in the room with you, then I'll sleep outside your door. And you're not alright Hermione. Please don't lock the door. I have to be able to get to you. Please don't lock the door."
"Ron-," "No Hermione. Tonight I felt as powerless as I did at the Malfoy's. I don't know how you did it then Hermione. I don't know how you stayed so strong. I'm coming apart listening to you. How did you manage that all on your own?"
Hermione took a long shaky breath. Unable to keep her crying out of her voice, she spoke anyway.
"I'm not as strong as you think. When she had me pinned, we were right about the dungeons. I could hear you calling my name. You kept me holding on Ron. You were my own deluminator. Your voice kept my grounded. Your voice saved me. Without it, I would have given up. I…I'd be in St. Mungo's or dead. I wasn't alone you see. I'm not so strong. I'm terribly frightened. Because of that woman! She's dead but I can still see her face every night. I hear her laugh. Every single night. It's like she's haunting me. I can't get her out of my head. I'm sorry."
Ron gently pushed her away so that he could see her face. "What the hell are you sorry for?"
"That I let her get to me. That I'm weak."
"Please don't apologize. If I'd gotten to you sooner-," "Ron, you couldn't have!"
He sighed. "No more than you could have helped what Bellatrix did to you!" Ron put his hands on both sides of Hermione's face holding her still so that she could see the eyes of someone who loved her. "You are the bravest witch, the smartest girl, and the most beautiful woman I have ever met Hermione Granger. You are so strong, you give me strength."
Hermione hiccupped back another sob. "I love you Hermione," Ron whispered into her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you too Ron."
The next morning Mrs. Weasley climbed the stairs to alert the trio to breakfast. She came close to tripping over the long legs of her son, cradling Hermione in his arms. They were both fast asleep.
Author's Note: This is my first ever HP story, and I sincerely hope I've done alright. I'll settle for even mediocre, as long as it isn't awful. I actually haven't read any HP fanfiction, but I'm sure this story has been done a thousand and one times. Regardless, here's my version of what happens with Ron and Hermione.