Never A Lie
My love for you Sasuke knows no bounds. I would sacrifice every ounce of my happiness for yours. I would sacrifice all I ever had to give you everything. I would sacrifice my very own life for your sake. I could go on and on with all I would ever do just to see you smile. I love you Sasuke - my love for you is the only reason I have hurt you the way I have a long time ago. There is never a day where I don't sit and cry myself to the very brink of suicidal madness thinking of the day I spilt our very own blood on my hands. My guilt and regret tears me apart inside - it hurts Sasuke, but I know I do not deserve your sympathy. I only pray that some day you will forgive me for the atrocities I have committed in the past. Please, Sasuke, forgive me for causing you so much hurt. I wish every day to hear the alleviating words of your forgiveness, but I know my wish is merely a foolish dream.
The day I walked away from you Sasuke, has been haunting me like a recurring nightmare. I wake up some nights drenched and shaking from the cold sweat covering my entire body. The image of your childish face - so lost and so hurt - nearly obliterated my heart into pieces. It took all the strength and willpower I had to turn away from you in a time when I knew you needed me the most. I could only allow myself to shed a single tear in hopes that you would understand how I truly felt at the time. Ever since then, the tears seem to never stop.
I have next to no memories that give me any peace of mind except for the times we spent together as kids. I fondly look back on our childhood days and smile as I recall how eager and bright you were as a child. The shine in your eyes whenever I walked in through the door, never failed to make me feel loved. You may have never realized this, but I always rushed home just to see the loving shine in your eyes when I came home. Some days, I yearn so much to rush back to you to see that same look again - even if it is just one more time.
To see you grow up into the cold-hearted man you have become brings relentless guilt on my soul. It is because of me, you have turned so emotionless - so different from the warm child I grew up along with. Many times I have doubted if my decisions I have made for your sake were really for the best. I have doubts too Sasuke, even if it appears I don't. There is never a time when I am completely confident in the path I have chosen to take. Regardless of my own self-conscious beliefs, there is nothing that can change what has already been done. The best I can do is hope you will some day understand that every thing I've done thus far is only for your well-being and your well-being only, Sasuke.
My attempts at being your protective, older, brother has crumbled right before my very eyes. I have failed you Sasuke. I am merely a sham - an illusion that never existed in your childhood days. There is nothing I want more than to go back to those days - days of innocence and carefree smiles. Trust me when I say Sasuke, I love you more than I have ever loved any one else. There have been many lies in your life thus far, and for that I am deeply sorry, but trust me when I say, my love for you will never be a lie in life or even in death.