A/N: So...er hi. This is my first attempt at humour and i hope it turned out well! Anyways, this is in an AU...again; and I tried my best to keep them IC! Now that thats over with, R&R plz!
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach do you think I'd be writing this?
-Fros Tyf Eline
Friendly Visits
"OMG, what happened?"
"Food Poisoning"
"What, how?"
"…It's a long story"
~X~X~
"Hey, Byakuya! How's it going?" The door slammed open revealing a grinning redhead with warm brown irises and a footprint on the wooden door.
"*sigh* What are you doing, Renji" a voice asked from within the house.
"Oh me? I was just walking around the neighbourhood and decided to say hi!" the redhead chirped.
"By kicking down my door" a pale raven-haired man with slate grey irises appeared from around a corner.
"Heh, you know me Bya" Renji grinned, walking into the house (uninvited).
Smiling ever-so-slightly, Byakuya walked past Renji and closed the door before walking back through the hallway into the lounge. When he entered it, he was greeted with the sight of a young, raven-haired girl sitting on the shoulders of the tattooed redhead.
"Renji, did you bring it? Didyoudidyoudidyou?" the girl yelled excitedly.
"Hm….Was I supposed to bring something?" Renji asked, feigning ignorance.
"Whaaaa, you forgot?" the girl pouted, wide violet eyes tearing up.
"Hehe, I'm kidding! Here ya go, one box o' Limited Edition Chappy the Rabbit Choc Fudge Cookies!" he grinned, pulling a purple and pink box out of the inside of his jacket.
"YAY! Gimmegimmegimme!"
"Rukia, what do we say when someone gives us something~?" Byakuya said, walking up to his friend and little sister.
"Thanks Renji!" with that said, Rukia jumped – literally – off of Renji's shoulders and shot off into another hallway, clutching the box of cookies to her chest with a huge grin on her face. Meanwhile, Renji who had been used as a human Launchpad, lurched forward, tried to regain his balance, failed miserably and face-planted on the carpet, narrowly missing Byakuya who had sidestepped the falling redhead. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at man lying face down on his white shag carpet (which had just been dry-cleaned thank you very much), sighed and walked to the kitchen through a wide arch in the sky blue walls. However, the moment he entered he felt himself being pushed forward. Byakuya stumbled forward, trying desperately to regain his balance and not crash into something at the same time.
Renji watched on, biting his lower lip in an attempt to stop himself from rolling around on the floor laughing his ass off as the normally calm, composed man stumbled around his kitchen with a panicked look on his face. It was hilarious really, pity he didn't have a camera…Wait, did he remember his phone? Let's see now…jacket pocket? No…Jeans pocket? No…Oh wait, didn't he put it on the coffee table in the lounge when he was playing with Rukia? Yes, that's it! Renji ran back to the lounge and spotted his absolutely fabulous IPhone sitting on the glass table with its gleaming silver and red cover. He rushed to the FRAGILE table-that-nobody-would-dare-break-even-accidentally, grabbed his phone and ran back to the kitchen, only to find Byakuya calm as ever standing at near the kitchen sink, mixing something with a metal whisk. Darn, Renji missed it! It was such a pity; he knew a lot of people who would pay big money to see a picture of Byakuya Kuchiki panicking and stumbling around a kitchen…
"What 'cha doin' there Bya?" he asked, walking up to him and peering into the bowl.
"Mixing" he replied, unimpressed.
"Well duh, but mixing what?"
"Dough"
"For what?"
"Cake"
"What type of cake?"
"Sponge"
"Why do you need a sponge for making cake?"
"Sponge cake, genius"
"Well I know I'm super smart and all but I wouldn't call myself a genius…but I don't think a cake made of sponge would be very tasty"
"You're doing this on purpose aren't you"
"Mayyybe"
"*sigh* Forget it. Just whisk this for a second" Byakuya sighed, resisting the urge to face-palm. He pushed the bowl and whisk into the slightly surprised redhead's arms and moved to open a cupboard, which he dug through for a little while before pulling out a silver cake tin. Byakuya set the cake tin on the counter and exited the kitchen in search of something.
"Eh, where're you goin'?"
"Getting a towel. Knowing you, by the time I come back there will be cake batter on the floor and I don't want to have to deal with Rukia licking it off and getting sent to hospital because of something on the floor…again"
"O-oi!" Sadly, Renji's protests went unheard as Byakuya disappeared in search of a spare towel. "Well what do I do now?" he asked the air around him. Now with nothing to do, Renji continued to lazily whisk the batter looking around at the familiar surroundings, why did he decide to visit Byakuya again? Eh, he forgets. He set the bowl down on the counter and proceeded to raid Byakuya's kitchen…preferably for Taiyaki (which is a Japanese fish-shaped cake), yes definitely Taiyaki. All of a sudden he snapped to attention, eyes wide as he heard something hitting the ceramic tiles of his black-haired friend's kitchen. Renji looked behind him and noticed something. It wasn't a very big thing to be noticed, just a subtle detail: the bowl containing freshly whisked cake batter was gone. And it was on the floor. With shards of blue ceramic and batter splattered on white tiles. However, today just was NOT Renji's day as Byakuya chose that precise moment to walk back in the kitchen clutching a navy blue towel in one hand. Once again unimpressed, Byakuya chucked the towel at Renji, who caught it and sighing, proceeded to clean up the shards of ceramic and cake batter.
"Told you" After watching Renji cleaning up his floor for a few minutes, Byakuya decided that just making him clean up wasn't sufficient punishment for the redhead who broke his favourite bowl. He walked over to the fridge and…got out a packet of Taiyaki. Then knowing full well that his friend was watching, slowly unwrapped the packaging and inched towards the bin, dropping the wrapper into it where it seemed to fall in slow motion – to Renji that is. Byakuya held the fish-shaped treat closer to his lips and bit into the head causing some red bean paste to ooze out. "I have no idea how you can eat this stuff" Byakuya scrunched up his nose in distaste.
"THEN DON'T EAT IT" Renji yelled, staring at the half-eaten Taiyaki longingly. He was ignored.
Byakuya chewed thoughtfully for a few moments and swallowed. "Actually, I think I'm gonna finish it. After all, it's not good to waste food" he paused. "That and it's rather entertaining seeing you so worked up over a piece of cake"
~X~X~
"And that's what happened"
"That's how what happened?"
"..."
"You know I had no idea what you were thinking about right?"
A/N: Now that you've read my crappy story all the way through how, about clicking that pretty button down there? No? What about if I told you I had cookies~? ^_^