Rating: PG13
Pairing: Morgan and Reid.
Summary: It's Morgan's turn to profile Reid. Sequel to You, Actually
Author's Notes: Following Jones (2.18)
Let Me Help
Spencer twirled the syringe between in his fingers. It was empty, but the vial was on the coffee table in front of him, waiting. He needed to make a choice; a choice that he already thought he had made, but the cravings were back and the drugs were easy. He could ease himself off, that would make the withdrawal easier - but could he really ease himself off? He was addicted. That was the first step of recovery wasn't it? He was addicted, but he was smart. He could be a functional addict, could he not? He just had to lower the dose and not let the symptoms of withdrawal shine through at work. It wasn't like he wasn't still good at the job; he had just missed one plane to see if he could go without the job. He couldn't. He needed the team. He needed the job. He needed Morgan. He sighed, setting the syringe next to the vial so he could run his hands over his face. Ever since Morgan had admitted his attraction, it had been difficult to be around them. They both knew there was...something between them and yet neither were brave enough to act on it. He didn't want to ruin their friendship and the fact that it wasn't appropriate for work. He laughed, tensely at that. A relationship wasn't appropriate, but he could inject painkillers into his arm in the FBI headquarter's bathroom stall. He shook his head. He made no sense at all.
There was a knock and Spencer looked at his watch: 12:13 pm. Everyone had gone for a drink after the case so he assumed that it was no one from the team. Who else would it be? He grabbed the syringe and vial and shoved it into his pocket as he made his way to the door. He opened it, leaning against the frame, his eyebrows raising as he noticed the man on the other side.
"Morgan."
"Hey kid, Let me in?"
Spencer nodded before stepping back, opening the door wide. "What-what are you doing here?" His heart was racing, was Morgan finally going to make a move?
"You think I wasn't going to call you out on the fact you missed a plane?"
Spencer's heart slowed drastically. The plane. Work. "Oh."
"What the hell are you thinkin', Kid?" Morgan asked, oblivious of Spencer's heartache.
"I... I told you guys, I didn't get the calls." He lied and Morgan just stared at him.
"Don't lie to me, Spencer."
Spencer lowered his eyes at his first name, shoving his hands in his pockets. He spun the syringe between his thumb and pointer, unsure of what to say to the man in front of him.
"Something's wrong, kid. Something's up with you and when you found out my secrets, you didn't judge me, so why...why won't you tell me yours?"
Spencer raised his eyes. "It wasn't your fault what happened to you."
"It wasn't your fault what happened to you, either, Spencer. He kidnapped you-"
"But the way you cope isn't hurting anyone." He bit on his lip. "Maybe...Maybe I should...try your way."
Why not? Morgan finding comfort in other people seemed to work for him so nicely. Wasn't casual sex better than a drug addiction? And Morgan was used to using people, so...it wouldn't be like it would be hard for him to have a night with Spencer. The man took a step closer to the black man before reaching out and touching his chest.
"Will you help me forget?" Spencer asked, softly, running his fingers over the man's chest.
Morgan automatically tensed before grabbing the genius' wrist. "Not like this, Spencer."
His voice was soft and Spencer locked eyes with him, desperate.
"You use everyone else, Derek. I'm asking you...just...use me, let me...feel something."
Morgan looked at the man with sad eyes. "Spencer, no."
Spencer pulled his hand back, angrily. "Then why are you here, Morgan?"
Morgan watched the man confused.
"You remember when you profiled me?"
Spencer turned back to him, confused. "Yeah, so?"
"I think it's my turn now. You're not yourself, Spencer. You're zoning out more than usual, you're cranky, you run off all the time and no one knows where you're at. You're even skinner than usual and-"
"And what, Morgan? Say it."
"I think you're on drugs."
Spencer smiled, almost relieved that someone had finally said something. Glad someone had been blunt about it. "You use women; I use drugs. You know that Crystal methamphetamine is one of the fastest growing drugs in the gay community. There are whole parties where people get high and have sex with each other - I could that, I think. I think I could. Maybe then someone would touch me."
Morgan glared. "Are you high right now, Spencer?"
Spencer glared. "No, but I could be." He pulled out the vial and syringe out of his pocket. Morgan backed up, staring at the drugs.
"That's not meth."
"Dialudid."
Realization came into Morgan's eyes. "He drugged you. We knew that, the drugs were in your system when you went to the hospital but you detoxed and everything. Why did you go back on it?"
Spencer shrugged, moving to the couch, setting the vial back in it's orginal position, face to face with the man as if they were in battle and they were in sorts - a battle of will.
Morgan moved and took the vial away, sitting down on the table, looking at the man.
"You don't need this drug, Spencer."
"It helps." Spencer said, looking at the man. The fight was gone. The cravings were overpowering and he was exhausted. He had fee ought it for been fighting with it for hours. "I do need it."
Morgan put the vial in his pocket before reaching out to grab Spencer's hands. Spencer didn't pull away and just stared at their locked hands. "It makes me feel like I didn't lose everything in that shed. That I didn't die."
"You're still here, Spencer."
"Am I?" He asked, raising his eyes to stare into Morgan's.
There was a long silence as they seemingly searched for the answers in each reached out and touched the man's cheek, softly, running his thumbpad over the younger man's cheekbones.
"I can help you, Spencer. Let me help."
Spencer's eyes closed at the softness of the man's touch before leaning into it, nuzzling the man's hand before he nodded. If anyone could help, he knew it was Derek. He didn't know what it meant, if it meant anything in terms of their realtionship, but the man made him feel safe for the first time in weeks. Spencer shifted as Derek moved from the table to the couch. He wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't leaving. He didn't seem ashamed or angry. He was just there and had his arms around Spencer. Spencer opened his eyes to look at the man.
"Stay with me?"
"Sure thing, Pretty Boy. Sure thing."
Spencer felt the blush raise to his cheeks as he curled into the older man. He breathed in the man's scent and closed his eyes again. Feeling Morgan's finger run through his hair, Spencer relaxed, completely, knowing that atleast for the moment things were okay. For the first time since the incident, Spencer drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.
